Posts Tagged: Spring
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Do You Know Where Your Teens Are? (They're Swarming John Green)

Wow. Thank you for being awesome Cleveland! pic.twitter.com/r40K45dnQ7

— John Green (@realjohngreen) May 8, 2014

Your teens are following kindly, funny, sensitive and young-ish father-of-two YA author John Green like he was The Beatles, Madonna, Tiffany, Debbie Gibson and Justin Bieber all in one. Currently occupying four of the top seven slots on the Times Young Adult Best Sellers list (and the cover of the latest EW), the John Green situation is totally and completely out of control as he goes about doing pre-promotion for the Fault in our Stars film. One reason it's wacky is because the John Greeniverse has no vampires, no witches, [...]

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Here Is Why It Might Not Be Cold For The Rest Of Our Lives

"On March 20th, this year's equinox, the northern hemisphere—our part of the Earth—starts tilting close to the sun. That fact alone means it has to warm up." —It is horrifying on every level that we need to have a "news" story like this, but perhaps the most horrifying part of all is just how comforting I'm finding it.

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Eight Great Things You Can Eat This Spring That Are Definitely Not Ramps

Ramps are fine. I will not bash any of the members of the House Of Allium, one of the most illustrious families of food. Tasty things can and have been done with them! But they are neither the only nor the best item that springtime has to offer. Eating seasonally does not necessarily require spending seven dollars on five tiny leafy scallions. This is not ramp season, my friends. This is a time of so much more. Here's a list of timely delicacies you should be gorging on, sans ramps.

SHAD and SHAD ROE Shad is a fish in the herring family, sometimes called a river herring. It migrates in [...]

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Men Suddenly Abandon Socks!

Bare Ankle Subway Census: Men Outnumber Women

— Mike Nizza (@mikenizza) April 9, 2013

TRUTH. It is on. One warm day and it's ankles everywhere. Don't you people have business meetings? Anyway, we know socks are hard, but please do your loved ones a favor and invest in Secret Socks.

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Spring It On

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There Is Love For Everyone This Weekend!

"This is a love story. It began on a hot summer night in Santa Barbara, Calif., when Tamara Langman helped kill the yellow-eyed demon known as Prince Malchezaar. She was logged into World of Warcraft, the multiplayer fantasy game, and her avatar—Arixi Fizzlebolt, a busty gnome with three blond pigtails—had also managed to pique the interest of John Bentley, a k a Weulfgar McDoal." Are you ready to have your world rocked? Happily ever after, those two! (Also a hetero-fellow met a lady World of Warcraft avatar and she actually turned out to be IRL biofemale!) So we encourage you to go out and meet that person/troll/furry that [...]

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But Spring Will Be Short

Speaking of spring! I liked the Jennifer Steinkamp programmed-trees-in-the-wind video at MASS MoCA back in 2008, but this one, which just showed at the Armory, is pretty perfect for the right now.

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Spring Is Never Coming Back

"On a recent day, it was warm enough to grill outside. So she put on some shrimp, then chopped spring garlic and tarragon, the first green plants she had growing. As a cheat, she added zucchini that had been grown somewhere else where it was warm." There is no spring, only endless winter bleeding into an early summer, so of course there are no spring vegetables, except ramps, those false flags of spring, hundreds of pounds of them, hoarded for the monstrous "rare eater who spends January, February and March waiting for ramps," who would put a child to death if they thought their liver tasted clean, earthy, [...]

15

The Decrepit Beauty of Dallas

On a recent walk through downtown Dallas, I stopped to admire an old light fixture attached to an abandoned building. The streets around me, lined with weedy lots and architectural wreckage, were deserted enough to feel vaguely menacing. A car cruised past; its driver and I seemed to regard each other with the same wary suspicion. I returned my attention to the light. “Look at me,” it whispered, defiant and exhausted, “and try to tell me that the old world was not better than the new one.”

I wasn’t so sure, given that whatever good you want to say about the past, the fact remains that it [...]

3

When I Win The Lottery I Am Going To Save All The Manatees

I know it's Springtime and it's supposed to be renewal and flowers and budding trees and things like that, but I'm tired of stuff right now, you know? Among certain other things that happened this week, there is also like this thing with the goofball in Korea who is gonna launch a nuclear missile on his grandfather's birthday or something? It's depressing!

We (as in U.S.) might set fire to the sky over this guy's country because he says he has a nuke missile and he wants to use it, you know? Doesn't this guy know how dangerous We The People are? Look what we did to a country [...]

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Go, Carpet Tacks! The Very Best Baseball Team Names Of The Past

In honor of Opening Day on Sunday, the second of two pieces today on the history of the game.

From my extensive research, I've learned that baseball is a sport people watch sometimes. I could blame my lack of appreciation for America's greatest sport on many factors—my father being Australian, and therefore interested only in cricket; the fact that when I played softball in school I always ended up in right field; the fact that my entire heart belongs to Patrick Chan—but I've decided instead to scapegoat the names, specifically their terrible decline in quality in recent years.

Having already fallen in love with the names [...]

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The Seasons, In Order, As Ranked During The Season In Which One Is Considering The Seasons

Winter 4. Winter 3. Summer 2. Fall 1. Spring

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The Most Confusing Month Of The Year

It’s March! Spring is coming! And no one knows what to do.

It’s very difficult to make up one’s mind about anything this time of year. It's very hard to commit. I’ve noticed it in the flock of pigeons that fly around outside my apartment all day. First of all, they seem to have doubled in number over the winter.

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Hellibores!

The transition from March to April, as we all know, is most often associated with madness, daffodils, spring crocuses and the blazing yellow branches of forsythia now rising like a thousand sunbeams around the city. In Washington Heights, however, it is the hellebore that now takes the stage, with a more subdued and gothic charm.

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Just Stay Alive Three More Hours And Winter Is Over

It's spring! Or, it's almost spring: at just before 1 p.m. today, it becomes spring, and you will feel a bounce in your step, like a caveperson exiting a cave for the first time in months, plucking the last of the winter's dinosaur jerky from between your teeth. The Times points us to some local celebrations, for those so inclined: in Bowling Green at 12:30 today, the egg-balancing will begin. ("A basket of 360 eggs will be provided for the eggshilarating standing ceremony.") Or on Sunday, you could meet up to celebrate "the Rites of Spring and Persephone's emergence from the Underworld." That's in room 302 [...]

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Theme For Spring And Summer 2013 Announced

"We start trends in New York. Spring and summer 2013 is all about the dog tattoo."

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Your Street Probably Smells Like Semen Right Now—But It Might Not Next Spring

On a mild April night some years ago, I walked past a college dorm in New Haven and smelled something I couldn’t place. It reminded me vaguely of swimming pools. Was it chlorine? I sniffed again, more deeply than before. Suddenly I knew exactly what it was and hurried away, internally berating an unseen teenage boy. A few evenings later, in the same spot, I smelled it again. Filled with a sense of moral outrage I looked around, I looked up, and identified the culprit: A tree.

More precisely, a Callery Pear, or Pyrus calleryana, a deciduous tree that’s common throughout North America. It blossoms in early spring and produces [...]

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Let Us Again Praise NYC Parks Genius Adrian Benepe

As it's likely that Mike Bloomberg won't get a fourth term—[pause for mild, uncomfortable laughter]—our time with New York City Parks Comissioner Adrian Benepe will likely come to an end next year. This may be the penultimate spring during which we can enjoy his good works. Despite that he's lost almost a quarter of Parks Dept. staff over the last four years, and that he's has had budget cuts for each of the last three years, many of New York City's parks look pretty amazing. It's bearded iris season! Right now! There's flowers everywhere! And there's smart, sustainable, well-sited plantings for shady areas and sunny areas alike. So as [...]

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A Gallery of New York in Spring!

Have you been outside? Sure you have—gotta go buy Wheat Thins and cigarettes sometime. But have you really been outside? These in particular are the short weeks that genius NYC Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe has set up to make New York City a ridiculous and tawdry explosion of plant reproductive techniques. Central Park—where that delicious little bit of forest above is—is like a tree orgy; it's sort of embarrassing! And elsewhere around the city, it's a testament to the City's impressive investment to intelligent planting and plant care. Sure, the argument could be made that it just gives the homeless somewhere nicer to sleep, or it makes a nice backdrop [...]

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Meet Your Vegetables: Asparagus Is Here!

I texted my sister: I'm realizing I need to invest in a food processor with a shredder wheel. This is pioneer cooking kugel, and she replied, hahah well it will bring you closer to your ancestors who made kugel the same way.

This all comes after I've asked her if she wants the kugel to be from both of us, and if so, if she can kick in a few bucks for my train ticket to Long Island tomorrow, because I've just dropped, like, twelve bucks at Whole Foods on these yams. The farmers market yesterday had none, and the produce at the supermarket by me is… well, I [...]