Posts Tagged: Spoilers
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They're Going To Kill Everyone You Love (On TV)

Spoilers of all kinds throughout.

On March 17, 2014, a 17-year-old archer named Allison Argent was stabbed outside of a corrupt mental institution in California while battling demons at or near some hour seeming like midnight. She died minutes later. The obituaries went big. There was "Allison Argent was, for a few reasons, one of the most important TV characters in teen soap history," and "Why Allison Argent Matters Beyond 'Teen Wolf,'" and "Why Allison Had to Die."

"In order for Allison to truly exist as her own character, 'Teen Wolf' made it clear that there was far more to her than a [...]

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Three Rotten Classic Books I Never Want to See Again

When I was in school, I was forced to read any number of books that I hated. By this method, schools do a pretty solid job of turning off many kids from reading for good. God forbid you should read anything "fun," or "readable," or "not boring and shitty." No, no: It's a steady diet of Johnny Tremain and opaque Toni Morrison novels for you. Your assignment tonight is to read 70 pages of Song of Solomon, or slit your wrists and never come back to school. LEARNING.

Everyone has a classic book, one that's adored by English teachers and hipsters the world over, that they can't stand. I don't [...]

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The History and Use of "Spoiler Alert"

In her July 14 article about the premiere of the fourth season of "Mad Men," Alessandra Stanley neglected to include a phrase that precedes potentially revealing facts in film and TV reviews: "spoiler alert." Fans read ahead and the damage was done. A certain string of words made moot a device key to the operation of the "Mad Men" universe-the ignorance on the part of the audience of how much time has lapsed between the previous season and the current one-and she did not give readers the choice of whether or not they wanted to know before the episode aired. The information was placed casually in the middle [...]

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Horror Chick: 'Sorority Row'

Admit it: you laugh a little when the horror movie killer turns out to be a girl. You think it's funny. Ha ha! The BIG twist…it's a chick! Doesn't really matter which chick it is, or why a 100-pound brunette with Hawaiian Tropic skin and an altered proboscis chose to become a homicidal maniac-it's funny. Gives a film immediate camp status. You know it's true. You raging neosexist pig. Just kidding- I laugh too. Plus I'm a lousy feminist who's pro-Brazilians and anal scenes, so who am I to judge.

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Spoilers for the New Season of "House of Cards"

- Frank dies.

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We Like Spoilers

"We hate for the twist endings of movies, TV shows and books to be given away. But here's a bit of relief for those of you who are just now learning that Snape, in fact, killed Dumbledore: Spoilers don't really ruin stories for us. In fact, a new study suggests that we actually enjoy spoiled stories more than those left unspoiled." Also: Snape killed Dumbledore, apparently.

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'Inception' Ending Audience Reaction Videos Coming and Going Real Fast

It's very sad that Warner Brothers is yanking everything 'Inception'-related off YouTube with great zeal-it's a reasonable copyright claim on their part, sure, but it's a shame in particular that this video has gone missing-it was an in-theater recording of the audience's reaction to the last scene of Inception. (Obviously people who plan to see Inception and haven't yet should not look read on.)

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The 'Breaking Bad' Finale Spoiler You Won't See Anywhere Else On The Internet

Did anyone else see that thing this weekend where a source "with knowledge of the show's inner workings" claims that 'Breaking Bad' creator Vince Gilligan is so obsessed with surpassing the reaction David Chase got for the last "Sopranos" episode that, in spite of a huge knock-down, drag-out fight with AMC execs, he has insisted the finale reveal the whole thing to have been an idle daydream Jesse is having as a student in Walt's high school chemistry class, and the last scene is him snapping to attention when Walt calls on him, and in the background you see Gus Fring walk by in a janitor's uniform with a mop [...]

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No Great Work of Art Can Be "Spoiled"

Now that we've done the history of "Spoiler Alert," let's discuss appropriate and/or civically obligatory uses.

The (previously, of course) definitive guide to spoiler alert usage was written by Awl contributor Dan Kois for New York magazine's Vulture blog in 2008. The whole guide is worth reading, as is the accompanying manifesto calling for a return to a "water cooler culture," in which people who really care about a show or book or movie make an effort to read or watch it as soon as they can, so they can then discuss it with their co-workers (or whomever) in person.

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Dear Jonah Goldberg: Did We Really Go to the Same Dragon Movie?

Dear Jonah Goldberg,

Did we really go to the same dragon movie? And you watched it twice with your proto-meta-pseudo-post-Hollyweird-what-spineless-moral-would-liberal-wusses-bury-in-it glasses? Because I just watched it with some giant gray IMAX goggles. And I didn't see some "in life, there are no villains," subtext. I just saw a bunch of fatheaded Vikings who were stubbornly torching a lot of their own resources, energy and lives stuck fighting an enemy primarily because they were morons who lived on a tiny island where all of their Viking stuff-like sheep, for example, were easy pickins' for predators. (Incidentally, I thought Vikings, you know, explored more, got the hell out of [...]