Bare Ankle Subway Census: Men Outnumber Women

— Mike Nizza (@mikenizza) April 9, 2013

TRUTH. It is on. One warm day and it's ankles everywhere. Don't you people have business meetings? Anyway, we know socks are hard, but please do your loved ones a favor and invest in Secret Socks.

A reader writes! "Since moving to New York, I seem to see a lot of bare feet in dress shoes. Is this a recent trend? Or a New York thing? In this heat, you'd think… that would make for some stinky shoes. I will occasionally go sans-socks if I'm wearing slip-ons or sneakers or going to the beach or something. but at the office? I don't know… Where do you stand on this?"

Well, I'll tell you where I stand. But it's embarrassing. There are these tiny, tiny fake mini-socks. THEY ARE FOR MEN. REALLY. And I wear them all the time.

Like millions of other loyal Americans, I watched the Academy of Oscars® telecast on Sunday, which the ABC televisioning network tricked me into starting at 7 p.m., with the pre-game, where for 90 minutes they ask actor-people about their feelings and what clothes they are wearing by which designer of clothes, but I stuck with it, the broadcast, not only in appreciation of the forced awkwardness and yelling-at-the-teevee entertainment, but to also maybe gain a bit of valuable practical Fashion information I need. Clothing!

If I were a he-actor attending one of these high-profile affairs, I would totally wear a nice dress normally associated with female clothing, especially Adapted for [...]

Everyone is talking about this video which shows a robot bunching a pair of socks. I don't get it! I mean, I guess it's cool that we have built a robot that can pair socks together-I know it's a task I have a difficult time with-but the way everyone's going on about this video you'd think it was the funniest thing in the world. I can't understand what's so amusing. Is it the robot's appearance? Something about the color of the socks? The way it seems as if the robot is stroking the pole up and down, starting with the head and then moving more forcefully to the base [...]

"Contrary to popular belief, socks and sandals are chic." That is wrong, right? Please tell me that is wrong. Otherwise NOTHING makes sense anymore.

Photo by Lobke Peers, via Shutterstock

This is weird. Thom Yorke has started a band with Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I can't think of two more different public personalities. The band does not have a name yet (I'll throw out "Arty on Your Pussy" as a first suggestion [Ed Note: Say what now?]) but they're playing two concerts next week in Los Angeles. I wonder if they'll come out in the old Chili Peppers' uniforms? (Careful at work: there are socks in this picture.)