Posts Tagged: Satire
17

Hot Gadget News, by Joey, My Building's Porter, Who May or May Not Have Formerly Been An "Exotic Dancer"

From time to time, The Awl offers its space to normal, everyday people with a perspective on national issues. Today, we bring this special report on technology from one of my Murray Hill Gramercy-adjacent building's porters, who enjoys golf, tattoos, talking about sports with the doormen and who may or may not have been a "dancer" in his previous career. (As told to Choire Sicha.)

So wait, I talk into your iPhone, and then you post what I say? That is rad. Okay. Right, gadgets. Here we go. Shut up, Donnie! The other morning I was hanging around in the lobby, just passing the time, watching tenants come [...]

18

Guest Op Ed By Walt Fruttinger, Applebee's Franchisee

From time to time, The Awl offers its space to normal, everyday people with a perspective on national issues. Walt Fruttinger, an Applebee's franchisee, would like to address Rick Pitino's recent admission of a sexual liaison with a woman, Karen Sypher, who was not his wife, in a Louisville restaurant, after hours, on August 1st, 2003. Following the tryst, Mr. Pitino, who coaches the Louisville Cardinals men's basketball team, paid $3000 for Mrs. Sypher to have an abortion; then she married the team's equipment manager. Recently, Mr. Pitino believed Mrs. Sypher (who is now getting divorced) was trying to extort hush money from him. Mrs. Sypher claimed that Mr. [...]