Posts Tagged: Sad Things

The Saddest Place To Masturbate In New Jersey

If you are not familiar with this part of New Jersey I cannot quite convey to you the level of sadness involved in masturbating along Route 10. But oh my God it is SO MUCH SADNESS. It hurts just to think about.


NPR Is a Sad, Sad Place

More on Lisa Simeone and how NPR folks are running scared from their own shadows. (Sorry, NPR, there's no way to sugarcoat this boondoggle.)


Helpful Explanations: Understanding the Gawker v. 4chan Thing

Now, I don't want to beat a dead horse, but this is the internet, and beating a dead horse is an Olympic sport around here. So for those of you seemingly out of the loop about this Gawker v 4chan nonsense, here's a bit of context.


Superstar Rapper Going To Jail Seems More Mundane Than It Should

Well, Lil Wayne is scheduled to go to jail today, the result of a 2007 gun possession charge. He's pretty much the biggest rap star on the planet right now-well, after Jay-Z, I suppose. He's going to Rikers Island, which is not known for being a nice place. And he'll be there for at least eight months. But with the recent incarcerations of folks like T.I. and Gucci Mane as precedent, this sort of thing is starting to seem pretty normal (again). As Wayne himself told Rolling Stone, "I just say I'm looking forward to it."


Today In "Heartbreaking And Inspirational"

Via Fark, there's this: No one has ever told 7-year-old Dominic Osorio that he has brain cancer. Instead, his mother devised a story and made him the lead character. When Dominic undergoes surgery, chemotherapy or radiation, he is not a patient; he is the Dominator, waging war with an evil enemy that he calls a megazoid.

His grandmother, Monique Spagna, recalled the day Dominic finished weeks of daily radiation treatments at Johns Hopkins Children's Center that required the Bel Air boy to wear a mask and remain motionless for what seemed an eternity to a child.

"He could not move, so he would change identities and be the Dominator [...]


Important Yoga Poses For The Rest Of Us


It's Sad Out There

The level of despair you attach to each of the images within will depend on your own psychological condition, but Awl pal Sloane Crosley and friends will certainly give you something to cry about.


"Consumer Guide," 1969-2010

"The CG has generally required a seven-days-a-week time commitment over the 41 years I've written it, and I'm grateful to MSN for paying me what the work was worth over the three-and-a-half years I published it here. But though I always enjoyed the work, work it was, and I've long been aware there were other things I could be doing with my ears. So while I have every intention of keeping up with popular music as it evolves, being less encyclopedic about it will come as a relief as well as a loss." Robert Christgau's Consumer Guide, in which the critic guided people through the ever-knotty maze of "popular music" [...]


Some People to Demonstrate in New York City Against Fair Trials and Democracy

The anti-American group calling itself the Florida Security Council is coming to New York City, to join with the 9/11 Families for a Safe and Strong America in a demonstration against our legal process! Because they believe we should not be better than people who hate democracy. This is a sad thing. But there are funny things amongst the sad. Are you ready to see their invitation to the demonstration?


How Does "Fringe" End? (Or, *When* Does "Fringe" End?)

"Fringe," the only prime time SF show to make it through a fairly natural lifespan without becoming a disaster, concludes tonight. I did not want to love "Fringe," but it happened anyway. From its beginnings as cheerful but fresh Mulder and Scully redux to its rampaging full-on SF freakout middle period to its dark dystopian final season, "Fringe" avoided the varied and terrible pitfalls of often-great shows like "Lost," "X-Files," "Dollhouse," "V," "Firefly," "Heroes" and "Battlestar Galactica," all of which were either tortured by networks or tortured by showrunners. Or both.

(Sure, on the "natural lifespan" thing: I mean, yes, it is slightly awkward that the show concluded at [...]


People Most Likely to Die in 2011, According to a Death Pool

N.B. For this particular annual death pool, points are awarded for each "correctly" chosen person at a rate of 100 minus age at death. This may account for some youngward skew. 51 total entries were received.

Randy Quaid: 4 lists Stephen Hawking: 4 lists Larry King: 4 lists Mel Gibson: 4 lists Jimmy Carter: 4 lists Gerry Rafferty: 4 lists Peter Tork: 4 lists Keith Richards: 4 lists Ronnie Biggs: 4 lists George H. W. Bush: 4 lists Ariel Sharon: 4 lists


The New Niceness: Now Infecting 'Newsday' Sports Section

Today's Observer has a big piece about mandated niceness at Long Island's once-respectable tabloid Newsday, specifically within the sports section. I don't know if I know a single person on the planet who reads sports sections for coverage that avoids speaking plainly about its subjects, but perhaps the demographic number-crunchers at Cablevision, which bought the paper in 2008 and which also owns the Knicks and the Rangers, have identified this fan demographic as one that is underserved?


The Crisis at 'Architectural Digest' is Spewing All Over Its Cover

The December Architectural Digest hit mailboxes yesterday. Hey, wow, is it ever covered in words! And a new urgency. These words, they promise us such delights as… a look inside the homes of Magic Johnson and Malcolm McDowell and Carole King? This was not a thing I ever thought I might want! Architectural Digest's ad pages were down 58% over last year, so clearly they are compelled to try something new. Or is it? We took a look back the magazine's December issues, and its increasingly strenuous cover packaging over the past 20 years.