Right now a bunch of Republican fundraisers are telling their kids to be more gay.

"Florida Lieutenant Governor Jennifer Carroll has resigned because a firm she once consulted for has been linked to a racketeering case, the Miami Herald reported …. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement scheduled an afternoon news conference in Orlando to discuss a racketeering investigation involving Allied Veterans of the World, a nonprofit organization that runs Internet cafes." —Governor Rick Scott has lost his anti-gay Romney-supporting number two in a scandal involving illegal gambling software and Internet cafes. And apparently there is racketeering and money laundering going on in Florida!

While the Republicans in Congress were distracted by Benghazi and tax cuts and being crazy old men, Barack Obama stealthily created a new national park in California. Is this the beginning of the Obama Administration's bold action on the environment and climate change, which until now hasn't been bold at all? Maybe.

Pinnacles National Park was also signed into existence over the lines of an existing national monument dating back to 1908, when Republicans were the environmentalists. The ragged volcanic landscape and habitat for the humongous (and critically endangered) California Condor runs along the San Andreas Fault, 80 miles southeast of San Francisco. But because [...]

Um, no, but oh thank God I needed a laugh today.

On Monday morning in Tampa, I stepped out of a bathroom stall and into a large bald fellow in a blue suit. I didn't even have time to wash my hands before saying good morning to the most important Republican of our time, and my personal hero, Mr. Karl Rove. "Morning," I said. "Morning," he said. It's morning in America, again. And then walking out of the bathroom, I saw a grown, suit-clad man trying to mount a five-foot tall red, white and blue raffle-prize elephant. "Get a picture!" the guy yelled to no one.

The Marriott Waterside Hotel was Fort Romney RNC. The Marriott family are Mormon, are [...]

I am very sad to see right now, in August, it is "Back to School" time for many of The Children of America. Right now. In August! That is a total rip-off, kids, seriously, you got screwed. There is not supposed to be School in August, unless it is the "Summer School," because it is Summer! "Summer School" is supposed to be Punitive or Remedial and stuff! There's no School-school in Summer! It was bad enough when I was in the Target store last week looking for a new bathing suit and a deal on one of those brushes for scraping the barbeque-gook off my Weber and there were no [...]

Big donors were particularly offended by Obama’s reluctance to pose with them for photographs at the first White House Christmas and Hanukkah parties. Obama agreed to pose with members of the White House press corps, but not with donors, because, a former adviser says, “he didn’t want to have to stand there for fourteen parties in a row.” This decision continues to provoke disbelief from some Democratic fund-raisers. “It’s as easy as falling off a log!” one says. “They just want a picture of themselves with the President that they can hang on the bathroom wall, so that their friends can see it when they take a piss.” [...]

After many decades of winning the war on death, American women are now losing their lifespan gains over men. Especially in the Deep South and in rural counties, American women in their early 70s are now dropping off at a terrifying rate—70 should be long enough for anyone, but a girl child born today has an expected lifespan of 81 years, while boy children born today have the male disadvantage of a 76-year lifespan.

The question is why women are losing this advantage, if living longer can even be considered an advantage, especially in the Deep South or America's Heartland or the rural Western states.

According to Fox [...]

GREAT NEWS AMERICA. We might get a Jeb Bush candidacy yet! The news is a-flurry with Jeb Bush news, though actual flurries have canceled his flight to D.C. today so he will not be Making News at the Cato Kaelin Institute tonight, with his pronouncements about the future of our race wars.

Question: "Is Jeb Bush the Republicans' Hillary Clinton?

Answer: No.

Question: What does this mean? "I’m not saying yes, I’m just not saying no. I’ve accomplished some things in my life that allow me now to — to have that kind of discretion, to be able to think about it."

Answer: He made lots [...]

Say this for Politico: using a giant picture of Pauline Kael to illustrate an article on the Republican media cocoon is pretty great. As is this: "In this reassuring conservative pocket universe, Rasmussen polls are gospel, the Benghazi controversy is worse than Watergate, 'Fair and Balanced' isn’t just marketing and Dick Morris is a political seer."

"It’s the inevitable, if unsightly, convergence of the Internet, tea party, the post-Citizens United campaign-finance era and the presence of a Democrat in the White House who is despised by many conservatives. Political operatives can create a PAC and corresponding website on the cheap, drop some cash to rent an email list and, voilà— in come the small-dollar contributions from grass-roots Republicans eager to support any effort aiming to turn out President Barack Obama or reelect the fiery West. Except those chunks of $25 and $50 don’t often find their way to any serious campaigns to beat Obama or boost West."

What happened at the Republican National Convention?

I dunno, I heard a lot of people say that Chris Christie was really fat and is going to be our biggest President since Taft in 2016.

What about the dudes running for President?

I heard that that Paul Ryan guy doesn't buy suits that fit him and is like a big liar? I heard they were both really, really rich but for some reason refused to get their clothes tailored, and they are both definitely not off-the-rack sizes, although Mitt is closer. Also some people wanted to rock Paul Ryan's body.

What was the highlight of the convention?

Something about [...]

"Poll: Republicans really dislike Muslims"

From policy advisers to campaign strategists, more than two dozen veterans of the Bush administration have flocked to Romney's campaign…. Romney's chief political strategists, Russ Schriefer and Stuart Stevens, are veterans of both Bush-Cheney campaigns. Romney campaign adviser Kevin Madden was a spokesman for the Bush-Cheney effort in 2004, then was a spokesman for Bush's Justice Department….. Romney has named 24 "special advisers" in national security and foreign policy, 16 of whom served in diplomatic or political roles under Bush…. On judicial issues, Romney is advised by at least three top veterans of Bush's Justice Department. Romney's education advisers include Margaret Spellings.

—It's almost like everyone's trying [...]