Posts Tagged: Real Estate
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Real Estate, "Crime"

Your enjoyment of this clip will probably hinge on how you feel about "funny" videos—or, more appropriately, how you feel about "funny" videos right now. I can take them or leave them, but it seems like I have been hearing Real Estate's "Talking Backwards" everywhere for months now, so it is nice to have something new from them, and also what with today's gloomy spring rain, the band's "side two of Murmur" sound is actually a pretty good accompaniment to the atmosphere. There is also some "funny" if that is your sort of thing, but I guess just wait for the music if not. [Via]

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"Phone Company" Was How We Used To Say "Tech Company"

"Since 2005, parts or all of 14 Manhattan sites have been sold or are in contract to be sold by Verizon, the successor to New York Telephone, property records show. The sales reflect the once vast scope of the old phone company's real-estate holdings, everything from two-story garages to modern towers to Art Deco skyscrapers. A telephone-exchange building that dates to 1917 is now on the market by Verizon on West 36th Street near Seventh Avenue as a potential hotel site. No asking price has been set. Properties are also on the market in Philadelphia and Boston. The Art Deco edifices were designed to illustrate the grandeur and power of [...]

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Youngster Industrious

"I am 22 and I own a modest apartment in the Village." You will have feelings about this!

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Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J.

As I walked through Ocean Grove, a small town just south of Asbury Park on the Jersey Shore, I felt proud of my people. Who else but my fellow childless, non-heterosexual disciples of the past would have had the patience and fortitude to sweep uninvited into this enclave of once-dilapidated Victorian masterpieces, and—undeterred by the proximity to 1) the post-war urban blight of Asbury Park and 2) the religious blight of the Methodist Church, which founded Ocean Grove in 1869 as a “camp revival” site and still owns the land on which every house sits—painstakingly refurbish every spoke and shingle? I imagined what it would be like to live in [...]

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South Brooklyn Has Lost Its Real Estate Mind

Over the last three years, everyone bought everything in South Brooklyn. Now, the dregs are being dumped onto the market, for surprising—some would say shocking!—prices. Obviously the big palatial townhouses of Cobble Hill, Boerum Hill and Carroll Gardens still get listed at $2 and $3+ million. (Also, haha, here is an awful one-bedroom for $760K.) 71 3rd Street, which is two tiny, tiny stories and a basement, recently sold for $1.2 million. 339 Hoyt Street, which was harrowing, if largely untouched—the stairs were made of plywood, held together by little brackets—sold for $1.47 million a few months ago. And now it gets worse.

Exhibit A: a [...]

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Bay Area Real Estate Agents Are Kind of Making Fun of You

"'Asking prices' are not that at all. They are 'marketing prices.' Buyers should never reflexively assign any validity to the price advertised on any particular property. Listing agents purposely under price their properties for sale and set an offer date. 'Why?' individuals may ask. They do it because it works." —Are you in the market for buying a home in the San Francisco Bay Area? Sorry to hear about that.

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NYU Star Faculty Live Unreal Lives of Luxury

"During Dr. Sexton’s tenure, N.Y.U. has earned a reputation for lavishly rewarding its star faculty members. It bought a $6.5 million Upper East Side apartment for the head of its medical center, and it paid more than $4 million to help a former Columbia law professor stay in her turreted Upper West Side home when she joined the N.Y.U. law faculty. It gave the dean of N.Y.U.'s law school a $5.7 million loan to buy an apartment." —Turns out that perks for New York University's star faculty are as ridiculous as the very worst fiction has suggested.

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How New Yorkers Think About Leaving

"The place has changed so much, I’m ready to go. But not for less than $5 million."

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Million Dollar Queens

"A large, single-family home in Jackson Heights' historic district recently sold for close to $1 million — more than $300,000 above the neighborhood's average asking price, according to the realtor." —If news like this makes you despair of ever owning a place here in town (or out there in Queens) do not worry, the Democrats will be back in Gracie Mansion soon and then everything will go to hell. If you can stay alive for a year or two you will be able to live wherever you want.

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What Was Brooklyn? A Deeper Look At The Corcoran Tumblr

We generally leave our daily trolling of the Corcoran "10 a.m. special" Tumblr to our own Tumblr but this is special. Today's Corcoran "special" is a $1.05 million two-bedroom apartment in downtown Brooklyn, at a little over 1000 square feet, which, that's not okay already. But what's this bit of staging??? LET'S ZOOM IN TOGETHER.

Spanish lesson. Coffee. Smile. Weekends. Theatre. Travel. Never Look Back. And a few intriguing illegibles. Maybe Frank O'Hara is still alive—and brokering real estate.

Someone needs to hold Brooklyn's face in a bucket of water until it vomits and drowns.

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Why Isn't YOUR $5M Penthouse Selling?

"McDonald’s delivery trucks are driving Tribeca residents nuts — and maybe even making it tough to sell a $5.4 million penthouse next door, neighbors say."

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Memories Short

"It helps that the buying public has no long-term memory." —This sentence is about real estate in Brooklyn, but, really, it could be about anything.

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Welcome To The New American Housing Bubble (In Coastal Elite Cities)

"Most of my buyers are averaging four offers before they have one accepted," my new real estate agent in the Bay Area said yesterday. "It can be an emotional and stressful time."

Probably! And especially if you're moving from a still-depressed housing market, which is roughly the area between the Eastern Seaboard and San Francisco. But, as NPR is reporting as I type these words, the American housing market (in the coastal elite cities) is "fast changing." From causing the collapse of the Earth's economy just five years ago to a breezy NPR feature about an insane couple putting in offers at 2 a.m. after driving by a new [...]

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Space X Preparing Mars Colony For 80,000 Wealthy 40-Somethings

Here is the kind of space math that is completely appropriate for 2012: SpaceX founder Elon Musk says he's preparing for a permanent Mars colony stocked with 80,000 wealthy humans in their 40s. Are you in your 40s right now? Too late! This won't happen for another decade, or more. Are you poor and 30? Well maybe you've got a shot, but probably not. Do you have a degree from a good school and maybe a new job at Facebook or Twitter or Google? You might get to be a "new pilgrim," on Mars! You'll even get to enjoy gardening, the latest craze for people who build APIs [...]

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Big Windows Will Help Rich People Overlook Historical Taint Of Poverty And Illness

"St. Vincent's Hospital served the sick and the poor for more than 150 years in the heart of Greenwich Village. Now, condominiums under construction at the site have been selling quickly and at some of the highest average prices ever downtown, developers say."

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White Woman Wants Your Home

I was thinking about writing a dissertation on gentrification and race in Brooklyn but yesterday's New York Times' real estate section had this photo and caption on its front page so I guess it's covered.

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How Has New York City's Real Estate Boom Treated The Homeless?

Hey, how have Bloomberg's homeless and housing policies been working out? Let's see!

"Desperate for shelter space, New York City has been paying landlords in low income communities much more for their apartments than they could get in the private market. The result? Landlords are pushing out paying tenants to make room for the homeless….

For the last year, the number of people in New York City’s shelter system has hovered around a record 50,000 overall. Nearly half are children. The numbers of people in shelters have shot up since 2011, when state- and city-funded programs designed to help people move into permanent housing were eliminated….

In fiscal [...]

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Rooms Depressing

What does this picture say to you? If you answered, "Williamsburg, 15 grand a year," you are probably already in a state of sorrow about the rental market in New York. And rightfully so. But wait, there's more! [Via]

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Wealthy Drug Dealers and Vulture Capitalists Will Soon Have the Housing Market To Themselves

"Fewer Americans signed contracts to purchase previously owned homes in February as limited inventory and access to credit held back a more robust recovery in housing." —Are $950,000 fixers and impossible lending standards and the need for quarter-million down payments with no-contingency bidding-war offers possibly slowing the current idiotic real estate frenzy? Perhaps! But here is a proven fact: Whenever people are acting super stupid-crazy about any market, it is wise to stay the hell away from said market.

Photo by Jeremiahsb.

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Help Wanted: Seeking Young Hemingway To Cover Retired Americans In Belize

Dublin was busy with construction and slick with rain. I tried to recognize landmarks through the taxi windows—mossy stone gate here, mossy stone church there—while the cab driver told me how the Irish were all getting rich and he had finally been able to move back home from the impossible hell of Scotland. It was the end of 1999, I had just flown from Washington to interview for a magazine called International Living, the new hotel-pub where I was staying was owned by someone from the band U2, in 24 hours I would be back at the airport, and life felt like a Thomas Friedman column.

The registration desk [...]