Posts Tagged: Problems
1

TV Y U NO COMFORT ANYMOAR?

"There's this fear that you're missing out on something. You hear people raving about 'The Walking Dead,' or some other show, and you feel like you're not in the know. Even if you really love TV, you can't help but think that there's already too much of it and it's not going to stop. There's also the anxiety that comes with your bloated cable bill, or the cost of all the services you subscribe to, like Netflix or Hulu. My god, if Twitter starts making its own shows, I'll [...]

13

"Glee": Sometimes Writers Slam Keyboards with Ham Fists

This was the first episode in which I felt the darkness of real life butted up against the cartoon land of "Glee," and, honestly, I don't know how the show is going to hold up. Well, okay. Before I get into that eternal sadness, let's talk about the adorable plot line of Tina the Goth vs. Principal "Actually Believes in Vampires" Figgins. After a band of Hot Fat Teen Vampires, aka Glee Spin Off Show #407, takes down a hapless nerd in the hallway, Figgins cracks down on all Goths school-wide. (I'm really hoping those vamps actually did rip open that dweeb's throat out and gorged themselves on his [...]

74

Skank Boot Evokes Rage

I can't deal. It's fall 2009 and what they've predicted has all come true. I've seen 'em. They've officially descended upon us like the vinyl-clad seat of a dominatrix who mistakenly thinks we want our faces suffocated. They're everywhere. On the street. On public transportation. The sticky, deplorable, throbbing, bastard mass sprung from the loins of FASHION like so much Strangé perfume from Grace Jones' womb: the over-the-knee-boot.

10

Man Thinks About Sex When He Looks At People

Here is a true confession from a "daddyblogger" named Andy Hinds. This man has a problem. Sometimes he sees people on the street and thinks of them sexually. Good Lord, THE DEPRAVITY. "How could enlightened, feminist guys like myself put up with these unbidden fantasies that violate our dedication to gender equity and basic human decency?" Fortunately he has fixed this made-up issue: "Instead of undressing them with my eyes, I’m cloaking them in imaginary burqas." Awesome, yes, this is perfect, to live in a world with other sexual beings, we just must imagine each of us clothed from eyebrow to toe so that we can remain [...]

19

Baby Monitor Punished for Being too Awesome

So this guy Wes Denkov is filing a class action lawsuit against this baby monitor company because the microphone was so sensitive it could pick up conversations from rooms outside of the nursery and cross streams and grab footage from the monitor NEXT DOOR. I get the whole, "I don't want other people tuning in on my baby's channel like he's some kiddie pool of husky puppies," but let's face it, a solo non-famous baby, sans a unicorn horn shaped like the virgin Mary crying blood tears or a tiny charming mermaid tail, is not that spesh, right? No offense DAD but you're the one who was too lazy [...]

12

Understudies! A Carnival Named Desire: 'Carousel'

Carousel's main character Billy Bigelow has much in common with Mad Men's Don Draper besides a fondness for alliteration. He is a cocky, beautiful, ego-driven ball of macho dynamite. The carnival barker thing also makes you realize how much of Bruce Springsteen's early style came straight off the Jersey piers. Bigelow is the kind of man who can't help but talk down to everyone, supposedly because he hates himself, but he doesn't seem to have a lot of regard for most other people either. "Emotion work" is defined as the act of putting on a front that differs from one's own actual feelings. Traditional masculinity requires nonstop emotional work, [...]

22

Online Shoe Retail MONSTER's Newfangled Personalization Software is Janktastic

Everyone knows that Zappos sold to Amazon for $900 million human 2009 dollars which makes the schadenfreude super spicy and causes pancreatic cancer. So it was extra eye-rolly that this site that doesn't even carry Nicholas Kirkwood is so special now and can be "helpful" to where it suggests other things you'd be interested in based on your selections. You know, that annoyingly aggressive thing that Amazon does where it insists that EVERY Tamilee Webb thing EVER is up your alley because ONE TIME you bought a Bowflex. So you can imagine how thrilling it was to find that this pump-slinging zapateria's shiny new function was BROKE. [...]