"What I want her to do is get rid of those bloody jackets. Every time she turns around you’ve got that strange horizontal crease, which means they’re cut too narrow in the hips. You’ve got a big arse, Julia. Just get on with it." —Feminist hero Germaine Greer speaks truth to power while discussing Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard.

"A snack maker in Australia has won approval to call its product 'Nuckin Futs' after authorities accepted the f-word was part of the country's vernacular."

"We're a nation of innovators and we find innovative solutions to our challenges. This is just a classic example." —Tim Moore, managing director of Australia's Northwest Carbon, touts a plan "to kill all the wild camels that roam the outback as part of its contribution to fighting global warming. The 1.2 million camels, considered pests by farmers and conservationists, each produce a methane equivalent of one ton of carbon dioxide a year."

Saturday morning, after picking up my kid from his art class, I was walking with him on East 11th Street, across from St. Mark's Church, when we came upon a boy, looked to be about ten years old, lying on the sidewalk. His eyes were closed, and though I could see him breathing, for a moment, I wondered whether something bad had happened—whether I would have to call 911, and whether my own kid was about to witness something much heavier than I would ever want for him to witness. Three guys walking in front of us had fanned out to step around around him, slowing to inspect the [...]

This is a brutal attack on the WSJ magazine-over something as seemingly simple as a profile of the fashion importer of Ugg boots. In the piece, the magazine goes "to great lengths to be as friendly as possible to Deckers"-Deckers being the company that shut down every company in Australia that also (and already) made ugg boots, a form of footwear that has existed for ages. Deckers registered the trademark in more than 100 countries and promptly began making their uggs in China. And now the WSJ is here to help you not be taken in by "counterfeit" uggs-so you can only purchase shoes made by the [...]

"A coroner on Friday opened Australia's fourth inquest into the most notorious and bitterly controversial legal drama in the nation's history: the 1980 death of a 9-week-old baby whose parents say was taken by a dingo from her tent in the Australian Outback." —Yes. 32 years later. Also this quote by the father is very upsetting! "Since the loss of Azaria I have had an abiding fear and paranoia about safety around dingoes. They send a shudder up my spine. It is a hell I have to endure." Gah! Well, sure. (Pictured: a dingo baby.)

"Australia's socialist PM under fire for failing to curtsey to the Queen (or bothering to wear a hat)"

Good lord, Prison Island, what next? "TO PUT it bluntly, we're all f—ed. It might be therapeutic to let off a stream of expletives if your team is getting flogged or if you hit your finger with a hammer, but it can also be illegal. And under laws set to be introduced to State Parliament this week, Victoria Police will get permanent powers to slap potty-mouthed perpetrators with on-the-spot fines of up to $240 for using language deemed to be indecent, disorderly, offensive or threatening."

"If he's a ratbag, he's one of our ratbags. He's done the crimes and he's paid for the crimes. This is quite an inhumane punishment, far beyond the treatment he deserves." —Stephen Kenny, attorney for Clifford Tucker, objects to Australia's decision to deport Tucker to Britain "over a series of crimes, including attempted murder." (Tucker, 47, moved with his family to Prison Island when he was 6, but never claimed citizenship.) The irony of Australia sending its own miscreants to Knifecrime Island aside, consider this statement from Tucker in mitigation of his offenses: "I'm not a career criminal, I haven't committed any crimes since 1999 other than a minor [...]