Posts Tagged: Primaries
17

How Jeb Bush Loses On Super Tuesday, 2016

Here's one easy way the Republican primaries could go.

Let's say you've got your saggy Scott Brown, your Rand Paul, maybe your Ted Cruz on the outside… and then up front, your Marco Rubio and your Jeb Bush. I just can't take Mike Huckabee seriously, even though he's polling first right now. (In this hypothetical universe, it's, predictably, all men: Everyone decides Nikki Haley is too young, Mary Fallin never gets any steam, and Sarah Palin sticks her head out and everyone's checkbooks retreat in terror and she goes away again.)

How LOL is this?

Jeb is the money leader early out, just because a Bush raises [...]

6

Tomorrow You Start Hearing Less Prattle About Primaries!

This is a great day for America—because the news organizations have spent a ton of money on "covering" Iowa and New Hampshire, and they'll be sending fewer staff and resources to South Carolina, which starts tomorrow, after New Hampshire "votes" today, and which also gets under-covered because it's a three-hour drive down the J. Strom Thurmond Freeway from outside Myrtle Beach to Columbia, as opposed to the one-hour drive from Nashua NH to Concord NH, and the bigger things get, well, all the reporters are kind of lazy and they miss a lot of events, and so you will be hearing less of the Republican primary prattle, which is [...]

2

First Wisconsin Recall Primary Goes Horribly Wrong for Republicans

In yesterday's recall primary election in Wisconsin, the fake Democratic candidates who are actually Republicans lost by huge margins.

But wait, it's not over yet! It's actually not even started. The first full recall election isn't even until next week! Yes, we get to do this again next week even! And it'll be fun: District 12 GOP Primary: Kim Simac vs. Robert Lussow to face Democrat Senator Jim Holperin

Trivia: Kim Simac, the "family values" candidate and founder of Northwoods Patriots ("Standing up for FAITH, Family and Country") explains the fact that she swapped spouses with her ex as "one of those quirky American stories."

District [...]