Even if you are having the best morning in your life thus far—and let's be honest, you almost certainly are not—this will make it a little brighter. For this rest of us this is probably as good as it's going to get all day, so let's take the time to fully appreciate it.
"Workers in a zoo in Wakamaya, Japan, nurture a tiny five-day-old polar bear cub after his mother stops caring for him" is the description, but "holy mother of fuck has there ever been anything more goddamn adorable if I could shit out my feelings they would be a diarrhea cascade of 'awwww' running down the inside of my leg right now seeing this amazing little polar bear baby video good lord HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THIS THING etc." is the only natural reaction. At least if you have a heart.
Did you forget to stay up late waiting for results from the U.N. climate talks in Doha? Well, you'll be happy to know global warming is solved thanks to a bold consensus decision to take aggressive international action on carbon emissions and sustainability. No, wait, that is not what happened. Here's a typically sunny reaction: "It’s very, very depressing. There is nothing [in the text] at all on finance, nothing about emissions reduction, it's all about workshops and talk shops. There is no commitment by [by rich countries] on anything."
Then again, "low expectations" were the only expectation at all. Sorry, polar bears and etc.
OMG, this polar bear mom is all "COME ON ALREADY" and the polar bear cub is like "MOM I'M SO TIRED WHY CAN'T WE REST MY PAWS HURT!" They're just like people!
Would you like to see pictures of an adorable baby polar bear? Is it Monday? Of course you would. Step this way, please.
"A polar bear cub is comforted by its mother as they drift TWELVE MILES out from shore on a rapidly shrinking iceberg after hopping on board to take a rest from hunting seals. The future looks bleak for the bears as they balance perilously on the ice that was bobbing around under their weight – but amazingly experts said the pair probably made it safely back to shore." Well, thank God for experts! Because I would much rather hear their assurances than the speculation from the man who was actually on the scene.
Grief-Stricken Polar Bear Occasionally Distracted From The Crushing Burden Of Existence By Frozen Fish Treat
My disposition is not by nature one that tends toward cheerfulness. In any given situation the first thing I am most likely to experience is an overwhelming cascade of sadness, of melancholy, of lost hope and lives lived without joy. Often these impressions are faulty or unreliable, but it is the way in which I am wired, apparently; I cannot help but be overcome by an immobilizing sense of sorrow in every environment I encounter, and even an awareness that things are almost certainly not as bad as I am understanding them to be only makes the situation worse, because how terrible am I if where others are leading [...]
"The former aircraft storage hangar just outside the remote northern Canada town of Churchill, Manitoba, is the world’s only prison for polar bears. Nature’s most fearsome land predators flood the town at this time of the year because tiny Churchill sits slap bang in their winter migration route north up Hudson Bay. An uncomfortable spell in the prison is reserved for those animals who won’t take the hint and keep coming back to the town. Eleven of its 28 cells were occupied with ‘bad bears’ when I visited Churchill, although it was soon to be only ten."
These little polar bears are PLAYING WITH LITTLE POLAR BEAR STUFFED ANIMALS. Couldn't you die?
You've got to wait out the approximately 30 seconds of some guy who is apparently named Bamboo Bill doing Dutch exposition, but once you get past that, you get polar bear cubs and Wendy & Lisa. On balance, it's worth it. [Via]
I think this is just what we all need in the wake of the tragic passing of Knut. It's the circle of life! And it guides us all. Especially those of us who like bear videos.
An animal sanctuary in Canada is taunting polar bears by placing delicious, fun-size appetizers just out of their reach. Terrible.
"Some pictures need little introduction. They stop you in your tracks. These are exclusive pictures to Reuters of a Canadian polar bear eating a cub that it killed and cannibalized." These pictures are EXTREMELY DISTURBING, and this is one of those "can't unsee" situations where you should think twice before clicking. But definitely forward the link to all your climate change denialist friends.
This is not the governor of New Jersey, who is apparently planning to talk all the way through 2016, but it is for sure more adorable so let's watch it instead.
Some 20,000 polar bears are left on Earth, their only planet, and most of them live in the Canadian Arctic. While the bears have been distracted by the melting away of polar ice and their entire habitat, humans at a meeting in Thailand have decided that's it's okay to continue killing the endangered animals to sell their parts on the international market for bits of endangered animals—bearskin rugs and claws and "other body parts."
The United States delegation proposed not hunting the polar bear to extinction. Although the ban had the backing of Russia, which also has a declining polar bear population in its arctic zone, the Convention [...]
"They seem to look alike — or maybe that's just wishful thinking. A half-sibling of Knut, the legendary Berlin polar bear who died last year, has just been born in a zoo in Wuppertal, western Germany, and photos of it and its mother Vilma were published on Wednesday."
Okay, I guess I've got to cancel my plans for tonight, because this looks amazing. [Via]
Damn. PETA is calling for the world's most famous polar bear to be castrated. Apparently, three-year-old Knut, star of the Berlin zoo has been getting very close to Giovanna, a female bear handlers brought to his pen last year while hers went under construction. Unfortunately, there's a snag. PETA's zoo expert and polar bear cock-blocker Frank Albrecht says that Knut and Giovanna should not be allowed to mate because they are cousins. As Discovery reports, "Any offspring would threaten the genetic diversity of the polar bear population in Germany and risk exposing the bear couple to a condition known as "incest depression…" I guess that makes sense. It would [...]