Damn. PETA is calling for the world's most famous polar bear to be castrated. Apparently, three-year-old Knut, star of the Berlin zoo has been getting very close to Giovanna, a female bear handlers brought to his pen last year while hers went under construction. Unfortunately, there's a snag. PETA's zoo expert and polar bear cock-blocker Frank Albrecht says that Knut and Giovanna should not be allowed to mate because they are cousins. As Discovery reports, "Any offspring would threaten the genetic diversity of the polar bear population in Germany and risk exposing the bear couple to a condition known as "incest depression..." I guess that makes sense. It would be kinda gross and Appalachian. But what about "penis amputation" depression, isn't that a thing? Albrecht said, "Knut fans need to know that only Knut's castration would allow a long life together with Giovanna." Man, with friends like these... Can't they find another she bear for Knut? Seems like there's one floating around on a chunk of ice wherever you look lately.

"A polar bear cub is comforted by its mother as they drift TWELVE MILES out from shore on a rapidly shrinking iceberg after hopping on board to take a rest from hunting seals. The future looks bleak for the bears as they balance perilously on the ice that was bobbing around under their weight – but amazingly experts said the pair probably made it safely back to shore." Well, thank God for experts! Because I would much rather hear their assurances than the speculation from the man who was actually on the scene. READ MORE