Posts Tagged: One Last Thing

How Should We Pronounce That Name, 'New York Times' Obituary Writer Margalit Fox?

From Shulamith Firestone’s obituary: "The family Americanized its surname to Firestone when Shulamith was a child; Ms. Firestone pronounced her first name shoo-LAH-mith but was familiarly known as Shuley or Shulie."

From Paul Roche’s obituary: "The author of several well-received volumes of poetry, Mr. Roche (pronounced 'rawsh') taught over the years at colleges and universities throughout the United States, among them Smith College; the University of Notre Dame; Centenary College in New Jersey; and Emory & Henry College in Virginia, where, his family said in a statement, 'He used to wander stark naked through the woods carpeted with violets.'"

From Giorgio Tozzi’s obituary: "At his [...]


Bot Catalog

We’re both busy and time is important so here is a breakdown. You might very well be a person who has forgotten what you are supposed to be doing. Living with THE FEAR that your bones could shatter like glass at any moment. You woke up on a Saturday and came to the sudden realization that you were all alone. Warming up to the concept of Time. We live in our own Time cages. Where does all the time go? Your life used to be different. It had a different texture, a different shape. Now it’s something else. Looking back, I realize that [...]


Send An Awl Reader To A Kraftwerk Concert With A Scalper

Thus far into Kraftwerk’s week-long residency at MoMA, not many individuals have popped up on Craigslist offering up their +1 for sale. Maybe it's because people who were lucky enough to purchase two tickets for one of the eight shows during the online sale/debacle must present an ID bearing the same name as the purchaser’s to gain entry into the concert. It’s a really big deal! So presumably they’re taking someone who is equally passionate about the music, or dragging a loved one who they’re trying to convert. (Which is never quite as magical as we hope.)

Whatever the case, it seems that most ticket holders don’t want [...]


People Most Likely To Die In 2012, According To A Death Pool

Once again: For this particular annual death pool (now in its fourth year!), points are awarded for each “correctly” chosen person at a rate of 100 minus age at death. This may account for some skewing youthward. There were 31 entries this year.

Last year, the pool correctly predicted the deaths of Kim Jong-il (13 lists), Elizabeth Taylor (13 lists), Amy Winehouse (10 lists), Steve Jobs (6 lists), Christopher Hitchens (5 lists) and Gerry Rafferty (4 lists). It was wrong in the cases of Michael Douglas (37 lists), Aretha Franklin (32 lists), Lindsay Lohan (17 lists) and a whole bunch more. So then, who will “mark” this year? [...]


The Apology

You'll go down there and apologize. You'll go and apologize now. It's ridiculous not to, ridiculous even to wait as long as you have to do it. Stupid and petulant and a waste of time to wait here. It was a stupid thing to say in the first place, too, as long as we're listing what ought to and what ought not to be done.

It was a stupid and a terrible thing to say and you knew that as you said it. You wanted to see what it would draw out, what the words would feel like in your mouth as you said them. Fine; now you know, [...]


Amazing Tales Of Celebrity Heroes


Ten Other Things I've Wondered About Teen Movies

Today’s release of American Reunion made one observer ask, “Is this American Pie Reunion truly necessary? Did anyone wonder ‘what happened to that pastry rapist?’” The answer to his question is, of course, no. What a silly thing to ask! But there are plenty of other questions regarding the characters from our favorite teen movies that have gone unanswered for years. Here are some of the most important!

1. American Pie: Has Jim’s mother continued baking apple pies, or did the recession force her to rethink the family’s grocery budget and replace fresh apples with canned pumpkin?

2. The Breakfast Club: To what private women’s college was Claire [...]


Your Weekend Project: Ooey Gooey Maple Blondies

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to enter a baking competition. But I never would, because I’m chicken. The thought of losing… I don’t know, maybe I watched too much or didn’t watch enough Back to the Future as a kid but man, that kind of rejection? Not something I can handle, thanks.

Then a Williamsburg-based outfit called City Reliquary tweeted at me BECAUSE UGH THE INTERNET WHY IS IT THE WORSSSSSST THERE IS AN EMAIL ADDRESS RIGHT THERE IN MY PROFILE asking if I would donate a batch of Crack Brownies to a bake sale fundraiser they were holding for themselves. Oh man, and how [...]


Hidden Motivations Of Video Game Characters, In Order

39. Fun

38. Game rating, theme, plot eliminates need to urinate, file taxes, experience bodily shame.

37. Lifelong contempt of evolutionary theory culminating in ill-thought out plan to stop rampaging monkey, without consulting police, humane society, press, etc.

36. Failure to understand nuances of newly installed alien government.

35. No school will hire substitute teacher named Solid Snake.

34. Prefer being shot at, stomped upon, devoured by monsters, spine mutilation, to honest conversation with friends, family, spouse.

33. Non-raiding, -assassin, -bloodsport job felt too "corporate."


Things That Should Fall Out Of A Piñata At A Cinco De Mayo Party

26) Gravy

25) Coupons for candy

24) Pictures of people hitting a piñata from a different piñata party. Everyone will assume they are from your piñata party and it will come across as very clever

23) Dozens of smaller piñatas

22) Sausage links simulating piñata entrails

21) Slips of paper, each with a word that rhymes with piñata: regatta, ricotta, stigmata, sonata… that’s about it actually

20) Bygone knickknacks that someone sentimental might pick up and say, “Oh, this would be lovely on the mantel… if it hadn’t been beaten into pieces”

19) Already scratched lottery tickets


Lone Great Features of Six Otherwise Terrible Movies

1. Music and Lyrics (2007)

The first 2 minutes and 31 seconds of Music and Lyrics contain some fine filmmaking. A caption tells us that we're watching a music video from 1984 called "Pop! Goes My Heart" by Pop. Everything about it is spot on: the black and white set, Scott Porter's big hair and loping dance moves (Jason Street from "Friday Night Lights"!), and Hugh Grant, bless him, mime-sings his little heart out.

And let's talk about the song. From the keyboard flourishes, the falsetto of the "Gold and silv-ah-hah!" leading into the bright harmonies of the chorus, the handclap punctuating the "Pop!" (and the sweet countering [...]