"Tennessee state Rep. Curry Todd, a lead sponsor of a law allowing handgun carry permit holders to bring guns into bars, has been arrested on charges of drunken driving and possession of a gun while under the influence." —Let's all have a good laugh and move on. To linger on this is just like eating the entire bag of candy. [Via]

"The manager of public relations at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla had told me that the hospital and a local doctor were about to treat a young woman with facial tumors similar to the Elephant Man's."

Duane Reade—a subsidiary of Walgreens!—carries fine American mass-market cards for every occasion, from "I'm sorry I don't love you enough" to "You should probably get checked out at the clinic" to "happy graduation, foster son of my lesbian partner."

They also carry a diverse line of Barack Obama birthday cards, which range from adulatory to scare-mongering. Here's pics of the front of the card and their inside panel.

"When a whale carcass washes ashore in California and investigators find 400 pounds of plastic in its stomach, we lament. How terrible, we say. What a tragedy. But do we believe a hardworking mother of three who doesn't hike the freeway every Saturday picking up windblown plastic bags is a whale-killer? Of course she isn't. Well, maybe she is."