Posts Tagged: Oh Jesus

"Baby Jesus Stolen" Nativity News Watch 2012

According to the latest tally on Google News, there are 2,803 current media reports involving stolen Baby Jesuses from nativity scenes. This represents a [made up percentage] increase in nativity infant thefts over 2011, which had held the previous record with [made up number] documented desecrations of Christmas scenes. Many are wondering just how low we can go, as a species. If children and other pranksters think it's "okay" to lift a plastic baby with a hole in its bottom for a colored light bulb, then what else might people do, given the chance?

"It is one thing, I guess, to steal even the shepherd or a king," said [...]


The Olsen Twins, "Gimme Pizza," The Nightmare Remix

The genius current trend of slowing down video and audio has reached its logical conclusion in this HORRIFYING DRUG DREAM, from Hot Tropic.


BREAKING: Madonna Allows Lola To Type in Public

This is, to put it very plainly, a huge gay catastrophe! The tween clothing line that Madonna and her daughter Lola are doing for Macy's is getting pimped to high heaven, because it hits stores soon, and the latest bit of marketing is… a blog post. Written by Lola herself-a "From The iDesk of Lola" kind of thing, to rile up the tweens. It's sort of heartbreaking, actually. Beginning, as it does, "Helluuur thurrrr, I'm Lola and this is my first blog entry so it's kind of like ummmm….."


The Annotated Guide to MTV's "House of Style"

Remember that time a style show premiered on a TV channel and it featured Jane Pratt, Winona Ryder, Kurt Andersen and three little oddball magazines called Fame, Details and Spy? Of course you don't, you were probably in third grade. THE YEAR: 1989. THE CHANNEL: MTV. And here is a detailed account of all that magic, from "House of Style: Episode One." Oh and after that, there are many, many more. Like, twelve seasons more. (Don't miss episode 5, which had Cindy Crawford and Tracey Ullman in bathrobes gabbing. In The Plaza.)


D.C. 'Buttman' Porno Farce Trial Going Horribly for Jurors

"Yesterday, jurors in the John 'Buttman' Stagliano obscenity trial got a 50-minute display of milk enemas. Today, prosecutors turned their focus to a different substance. This morning, jurors viewed a 36 minutes scene from Storm Squirters 2: Target Practice." -The plot is narrated in this fine accounting. SPOILER: the title isn't entirely in keeping with the film's conclusion!


Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner of Hot Garbage (Except in the New 'Footloose')

My God, are they… crumping in that small Texas town? So yes: here is the trailer for the Footloose remake "that no one asked for and everyone keeps forgetting about." Expect the Dirty Dancing remake any day. Nothing is sacred, kill your childhood, etc.


Today in Killer Robots: Now They Swim and Cooperate and Go Into Space

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE. Like, when that starts cooperating with this….