My God, are they… crumping in that small Texas town? So yes: here is the trailer for the Footloose remake "that no one asked for and everyone keeps forgetting about." Expect the Dirty Dancing remake any day. Nothing is sacred, kill your childhood, etc.

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE. Like, when that starts cooperating with this….

The genius current trend of slowing down video and audio has reached its logical conclusion in this HORRIFYING DRUG DREAM, from Hot Tropic.

This is, to put it very plainly, a huge gay catastrophe! The tween clothing line that Madonna and her daughter Lola are doing for Macy's is getting pimped to high heaven, because it hits stores soon, and the latest bit of marketing is… a blog post. Written by Lola herself-a "From The iDesk of Lola" kind of thing, to rile up the tweens. It's sort of heartbreaking, actually. Beginning, as it does, "Helluuur thurrrr, I'm Lola and this is my first blog entry so it's kind of like ummmm….."

"Yesterday, jurors in the John 'Buttman' Stagliano obscenity trial got a 50-minute display of milk enemas. Today, prosecutors turned their focus to a different substance. This morning, jurors viewed a 36 minutes scene from Storm Squirters 2: Target Practice." -The plot is narrated in this fine accounting. SPOILER: the title isn't entirely in keeping with the film's conclusion!