Guest Op-Ed: Hey, Your Family Is Really Quite Naked on Your Christmas Card, by Joel Johnson @12:30 PM
From time to time, The Awl offers its space to normal, everyday people with a perspective on national issues. Today, we're pleased to bring you this report by Joel Johnson, who at this time is very disturbed by someone's Christmas card.
Robert X. Cringley is a strange dude. Ostensibly a tech pundit, he sort of busted himself out of a brief moment of Slashdot-era sun when it became clear that he had lied about having a Ph.D. from Stanford and there were also some not-at-all accurate stories about magical Wi-Fi repeaters. And also he is "known for" his family's Christmas cards, he related today, because "we make them ourselves and we're naked." Well at least the children are naked! READ MORE 12
Dakota Fanning's Eyes Have Seen Many Things @3:50 PM
Man, I am so the embarrassed emoticon in the face right now because this Dakota Fanning Teen Vogue shoot makes me feel spectacularly gonzo in the crotch. I KNOOOOOW. I'm SORRY but I CAN'T HELP IT because I don't think it even matters if you're a dirty old man or not because her freakshow precocious eyes accuse you of thinking things and then forgives you and the whole thing makes me feel filthy. READ MORE 50
"Come Back With Your Commandments, Or On Them" @12:50 PM
Oh, why not? "20th Century Fox has made a preemptive acquisition of a pitch to tell the story of Moses in '300' style. The tale will start with his near death as an infant to his adoption into the Egyptian royal family, his defiance of the Pharoah and deliverance of the Hebrews from enslavement." Kick-ass! I bet Moses is gonna be ripped. And cut, obvs. 16
