Posts tagged as Oh God
Do Not Talk to This Man if You See Him on the Street
"He had already told me a lunatic story about meeting a hooker who knew a gay porn actor who did security for Christina Aguilera and had knowledge of a transvestite that a Yankees star kept in an apartment on Central Park South. The gay porn actor also happened to be diddling a Hollywood director. Via this most exotic of connections, Howie claimed to have had a few conversations with the director, who had put him in touch with his agent at Creative Artists Agency. The agent stopped taking Howie's calls within the week." READ MORE
"Straight Men are Doing Stranger Workouts"
“I think more straight men are doing stranger workouts. A lot more people are going to yoga and pilates... and it’s more social, and people are dressing up a little bit more." READ MORE
Reports of 7.4 Earthquake in Japan
A 7.4 magnitude earthquake appears to have taken place in Japan ten minutes ago, with an accompanying tsunami warning. Here are the USGS maps. According to the NOAA Pacific Tsunami Warning Center, "A DESTRUCTIVE PACIFIC-WIDE TSUNAMI IS NOT EXPECTED AND THERE IS NO TSUNAMI THREAT TO HAWAII."
American Poet To Legally Change His Name To "American Poetry"
Our poet friend Jim Behrle has had enough (of some toxic substance). "Since I've pretty much burned through the good name my parents gave me, I've decided this is as good a time as ever to legally change my name to 'American Poetry.'"
Wacky State Budget Mix-Up Fixed
"It's like Rasputin. It never goes away."
New York governor David Paterson discusses the 2010 budget, which he signed into law last night after discovering that the bill he signed last week was actually an incorrect version mistakenly sent to him by the Assembly. Because, you know, this is New York.
Important Thing You Need To Get For Your Kids
"It's one of the most important and least expensive gifts you can give your children-or any loved one, for that matter." Can you guess what "it" is? I bet you can't!
"How do Girls Wearing Rompers Go to the Bathroom?"
This is one of the five things you see on Twitter before you die. (Another being TWEETS FROM YOUR GLEEFUL EXECUTIONER.) It is: "How do girls wearing rompers go to the bathroom? Is it just really awkward?" Well, it had to be asked. Because apparently the romper/jumpsuit thing is out of control-so much so that the Houston Chronicle, that arbiter of fashion, is all over it. Oh yes: "There are short romper styles at Wal-Mart and elegant jumpsuits at Nordstrom and other upscale retailers." Wal-Mart, people. And "upscale"-like Nordstrom! Oh my. Also NewsNet5 is on the case: "Rompers are all the rage this summer!" Haha, oh boy. So what's the answer about the whole peeing thing?
The answer may not surprise anyone. :(
So you mean....
Ah. Got it. Enjoy summer!
SIREN.GIF 'Paris Review' Reneges On Language!
"After n+1 snuck through three more runs in the third, we knew we had to respond," writes Christopher Cox on The Paris Review's blog, in an account of that publication's recent loss to all the sporty young men of n+1 on the softball field. *HISSES* *THROWS FIT* For this transgression of English I HOLD THE ENTIRE MASTHEAD ACCOUNTABLE, but must single out (ha, sports pun, sorry!) new editor Lorin Stein and managing editor Caitlin Roper. You're dead to us now.
Horror Chick: Do Not See 'The Human Centipede' Unless You Are a Sick, Sick Puppy, And Even Then Reconsider
It's time to add a new type of bad movie to the ever-growing list: The aggressively bad movie. There's no ironic badness or nudge-nudge wink-ery here-it's more like "screw you, you were sucker enough to see this movie and now we will do our best to make bile shoot straight up your esophagus and launch out your nostrils" bad. Our prime example: The Human Centipede (in theaters-or maybe just one theater, IFC). "Wait," you say, "isn't that the 'ass-to-mouth' movie?" Yes. Yes it is. In every literal and figurative sense. READ MORE
