Posts Tagged: Nope

Let's Keep Pretending People Read!

You don't even need to wait for the future, I can tell you right now without any special gadgetry: basically nobody reads anything, the few people who do read things don't read all of it, and the two people who do read all of it are basically the ones tasked with checking for typos, so they are not actually retaining anything anyway. You might as well be lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna for all the actual comprehension and retention going on. But, you know, good luck!


Dogs Shameless

"The next time you start shaking your finger and shouting 'Shame on you!' because your dog chewed up your favorite fuzzy slippers, just remember that no matter how guilty your dog looks, it doesn't know what your rant is about. Behaviorists insist dogs lack shame. The guilty look — head cowered, ears back, eyes droopy — is a reaction to the tantrum you are throwing now over the damage they did hours earlier."


Customers Who Didn't Buy The "Breaking Bad" Finale Also Didn't Buy…

1. Birth: Anticlimactic. Suspense building for nine months, and for what? A dark, messy and not all that joyful resolution. And who really believes that the "Husband" would suddenly shift from indifferent, absent spouse to soothing, expectant dad? The introduction of the epidural minimized dramatic impact, and lowered the stakes significantly. From that point forward, I was disengaged. The emergency C-section twist held promise, but it was at once too gory and too detached. How is that even possible? The only thing that redeemed this train wreck was the baby (me!) who gave a heroic performance. Tough to pull that off when you're covered in white gunk.

2. First [...]