Oh, just announced: there is going to be a book stemming from our longest-running feature, Dave Bry's Public Apology! Grand Central, the fun group at Hachette, will be publishing. Soon you can feel all the shame, awkwardness and hilarity in one convenient place.

I was just asking someone: what was that thing that happened, that then everyone stopped covering/talking about/reading about Haiti? Here's a chart of what we've been giving our eyeballs to over these last 15 months.

Sorry, what's that? Unfortunately, our friend on the air was taken to the hospital for tests after this incident. The news is muddled on this—if it's simply misspeaking, it's very funny. If it's actually a medical incident? That's horrible.

• Over the course of the demonstrations, the Egyptian military detained "hundreds and possibly thousands" of "government opponents": some of them were tortured, receiving "extensive beatings and other abuses." READ MORE

While everyone is "upset" about Christopher Nolan not being nominated for best director for Inception, there's way more fascinating news in today's Oscars nominations announcement. READ MORE

Things you don't like to see on a Twitter from a "World Wide Security Company contractual work, Weapons Expert." Similarly: stuff like "15 DEVICES WERE PLANNED TO BE SHIPPED TO THE US THRU COMMERCIAL AIR." Also: "CNN's original tweet said bomb found in London. Turns out it's not explosives & not London." Who knows? UPS says: "UPS is working closely with authorities." Well that's good.

UPDATE: Our not so long national nightmare may be over before it began? Say police scanner-listeners: "back to regular program.... all BS. The terrorist and the policeman both come from the same basket."