Posts Tagged: Names

Against 'Alan'

People drop things on the Internet and run all the time. So we have to ask. In this edition, writer Alan Hanson tells us more about why the name Alan is terrible.

my dad is getting mad at me for shitting on his middle name

— Swizz Keats (@iluvbutts247) June 9, 2014

Alan! So what happened here?

I was on my lunch break and texting my dad when that thought crossed my mind, definitely not for the first time. My dad’s name is Kirby Alan Hanson, so that’s where my name comes from, and I’m pretty sure there isn’t any deeper connection to [...]


Woman Shows Her Strength By Relating Traumatic Experience In Heart-Stopping Series Of GIFs

The other day I was listening to NPR and they were talking about the plight of the refugees from the Syrian civil war, many of whom live in cramped conditions that only exacerbate the stress caused by the horror of being forced to leave their homes and the uncertainty of whether or not they will ever be able to return. They were interviewing one of the women who was trying to keep her family together in that awful environment and when they asked her what the worst part was, she immediately—I mean, without even waiting for the translator—replied, "Oh, for sure it's when they pronounce my name wrong." I [...]


Beyond Nemo: The Buffalo Weather Service's Odd, Delightful Way With Storm Names

A little backstory on how snow storm Nemo came to have a name: the practice of naming snow storms came out of the National Weather Service's Buffalo, NY office, where they've been doing it for years as a way of distinguishing between storms. Western New York gets multiple blizzards per year, so you can't just call them "The Blizzard of [Year]"* when there was probably more than one blizzard that year. It's the infamous Lake Effect; cold winds whip across the Midwest, pick up water vapor rising off of the warmer-by-comparison Lake Erie, and dump it as fluffy, snowball-perfect snow as soon as it hits land. Upstate gets so much [...]


142 Distinctly Non-Threatening Rap Names

1) M.C. Shy-D 2) Nice & Smooth 3) Greg Nice 4) Prime Minister Pete Nice 5) Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch 6) Q-Tip 7) Q-Bert 8) Krumb Snatcha 9) Lil Scrappy 10) Scoob Luva 11) Scrap Luva 12) McGruff 13) Snoop Doggy Dogg


Members of Congress Whom I Would Have Preferred to Have Tweeted Photos of the Nouns in their Last Names

14. Maxine Waters

13. Raul Labrador

12. Daniel Coats

11. Phil Roe

10. Jeff Flake

9. Edolphus Towns

8. Emanuel Cleaver

7. Dave Camp


British Parents Get Set For Austerity

The most popular name for boys in England and Wales is now Oliver, which is remarkably serendipitous in that, thanks to the new Coalition government's savage evisceration of the social safety net, most of the children on that cursed isle will be begging for extra helpings of gruel very soon.


The NFL in Order of a Team Name's Significance to its Home City

32) Tennessee Titans 31) Cincinnati Bengals 30) Indianapolis Colts 29) Arizona Cardinals
 28) Carolina Panthers 27) Atlanta Falcons 
26) Jacksonville Jaguars 25) Oakland Raiders 24) St. Louis Rams 23) San Diego Chargers


Your Secret Latte Identity

Is this article a tribute to the fact that the increasing diversity of our nation's population is resulting in an explosion of previously unfamiliar names or an early signal that as the economy becomes mainly centered around the service industries many of the pieces we read considering modern life will be about the knotty problems that come from interacting with the help? Yes.


Go, Carpet Tacks! The Very Best Baseball Team Names Of The Past

In honor of Opening Day on Sunday, the second of two pieces today on the history of the game.

From my extensive research, I've learned that baseball is a sport people watch sometimes. I could blame my lack of appreciation for America's greatest sport on many factors—my father being Australian, and therefore interested only in cricket; the fact that when I played softball in school I always ended up in right field; the fact that my entire heart belongs to Patrick Chan—but I've decided instead to scapegoat the names, specifically their terrible decline in quality in recent years.

Having already fallen in love with the names [...]


Cliffs, In Order

15. Montgomery

14. Fiscal

13. Big Red Dog

12. Huxtable

11. Johnson

10. Claven


17 Better Names for the Color of the New NYC Taxi Cabs than "Apple Green"

1. Guss' Pickles green

2. Coney Island Mermaid Festival green

3. Joe Namath green

4. Mark Green green

5. Bowling Green green

6. Goldman Sachs bonus green

7. Sally Jessy Raphael Show green room green

8. Escaped Bronx Zoo pit viper green

9. Hydroponic delivery service jewel box green


A Loosely Chronological Survey Of Messrs. In Blues, Soul, R&B And Rap



Dozens of Women Named Sarah Palin are Tired of Hearing from You

Dozens of England's citizens named Sarah Palin are really over the regular Facebook hate mail for their namesake. But there's an upside! "None of the British Sarah Palins were interested in changing their names. And neither is Glen Beck, from Fort Bragg, California, who happily told tales of women asking to meet him, and a hotel that left an extravagant fruit and cheese basket (complete with complimentary wine) in his room."


38 Delightful Names Gathered While Perusing College Football Rosters

38. Gee Gee Greene

37. Roddy Maginot

36. Jacquizz Rodgers

35. Justin Cabbagestalk

34. Rantavious Wooten

33. Bacarri Rambo

32. Ferbia Allen


District Garmenty

"After a year-long search, Garment District landlords and business leaders have picked a name to highlight the neighborhood's ongoing transformation from clothing factories to hip office buildings and boutiques: the Garment District."


How to Name Your Baby

Devices like iPhones have a unique name, a string that is usually called a "universally unique identifier." That the word "unique" doesn't ever need any modifier is, I guess, beside the point. It's not just unique, it's unique in the whooooole universe. Sometimes they call it a globally unique identifier. Heh. Anyway, a UUID is 32 characters and four hyphens. There are, according to the math whizzes on Wikipedia, 39 digits in the number representing 32 possible combinations of letters and numbers. That's a really big number, more than there are people, for sure.

This is a helpful thing, for obvious reasons. Wouldn't it be amazing if every human had [...]


Maybe The Ice Wouldn't Be Melting So Fast If Lance Didn't Go Around Smashing It Up So Much

"It is a greater change than we could even imagine 20 years ago, even 10 years ago. And it has taken us by surprise and we must adjust our understanding of the system and we must adjust our science and we must adjust our feelings for the nature around us." —The urgency apparent in Norwegian Polar Institute's Dr. Kim Holman's assessment of recent data about the melting arctic ice cap is truly terrifying. But the fact that the Institute named its icebreaker ship "Lance" makes me smile.


60 Of Baseball’s Best Names (That Are Not Hunter Pence), In Order

.bbpBox95624762067390465 {background:url( #201ba7;padding:20px;} p.bbpTweet{background:#fff;padding:10px 12px 10px 12px;margin:0;min-height:48px;color:#000;font-size:18px !important;line-height:22px;-moz-border-radius:5px;-webkit-border-radius:5px} p.bbpTweet span.metadata{display:block;width:100%;clear:both;margin-top:8px;padding-top:12px;height:40px;border-top:1px solid #fff;border-top:1px solid #e6e6e6} p.bbpTweet span.metadata{line-height:19px} p.bbpTweet span.metadata img{float:left;margin:0 7px 0 0px;width:38px;height:38px} p.bbpTweet a:hover{text-decoration:underline}p.bbpTweet span.timestamp{font-size:12px;display:block}

Baseball's best name: Hunter Pence (@HunterPence9) of the Astros. Damn good player too…less than a minute ago via web Favorite Retweet ReplyLarry King kingsthings

60. Edward Head 59. Eric Plunk 58. Elmer Klumpp 57. Jayson Faatz 56. Gene Klutts 55. Raymond Ripplemeyer 54. John Boozer 53. Mickey Mantle 52. Pedro Borbón 51. [...]


Welcome, Facebook Jamal Ibrahim! You Have An Excellent Name!

Happy belated birthday, Facebook Jamal Ibrahim! You are a baby girl born last week in Egypt. Your parents named you, in honor of the role the social networking site Facebook played in your country's recent revolution. Your name struck me as strange at first. And I guess it is a bit strange. But the longer I sit with, the more I think it's strange in a good way, the more I like it. It's better than "Twitter," for starters, in that it won't be shortened to "Twit." And I actually think it will be pretty cool as you grow older. People will surely call you "Face." And [...]


Where Is Waka Flocka Flame On This Great Chart Of Rap Names?

Fans of rap and of organization will really enjoy this Grand Taxonomy of Rap Names tree chart made by the poster-design duo Pop Chart Lab. It's terrific, and definitely worth falling into for a few minutes today. But, sadly, it does not include the newest addition to the all-time great rap names pantheon*, Riverdale, Georgia's Waka Flocka Flame. A member of Gucci Mane's Brick Squad crew who's found recent success on the strength of singles like "O Let's Do It" and "Hard in the Paint," Flocka would have fit nicely into the "Rhyme" category of the "Wordplay" branch, or started any one of various possible new groupings: An [...]