In a taxi after the High on Fire show a few weeks ago, I accidentally listened to “Sound Opinions,” the radio skit show where Greg Kot and Jim DeRogatis say platitudes about rock and roll to each other. It’s a pretty amusing parody of music criticism. In the skit I heard, they pretended that there were still fans of popular music who needed to be persuaded of the importance of the Velvet Underground, so DeRogatis offered a Lou Reed primer (which, in a sly touch, he mispronounced to rhyme with “timer”). The whole thing reminded me why, as much as I love rock and roll, sometimes I hate rock and [...]
My Old Job My name is Michael, I’m an alcoholic. Hi, Michael. Row your boat ashore. The Christian youth group is sudsing cars. They get Raptured. They hit the bars.
Cathy Aspirin’s a karaoke machine the size of Racine, Wisconsin. Cathy, I think I left my uterus in your uterus. I’d like to know what kind of response you get.
Maybe it’s Maybelline. Why can’t you be true? You re-gifted the VD I wrapped up just for you. My penis and my brain team up to penis-brain you. It is now my duty to completely drain you.
Soap me down, children, I’m full of pain pills. I was born [...]