"Is a steak sandwich bad for your health? Absolutely. Does caramel ice cream taste so good that it induces cravings in some people? You bet. Do sweet, fatty foods like Crack Pie light up the same pleasure centers of the brain that are activated by addictive drugs? Sure—in rats, at least. And yet food is not like crack in several significant ways."
Here is something commonly called a satire: "In the summer of 2010… an asteroid struck the East Coast. Early warning systems permitted most of the region's population to be evacuated, so that only a few lives were lost when the meteor fragmented and exploded above lower Manhattan, leveling Wall Street…. While the cloud of dust was still clearing above the flooded crater that had once been Wall Street, in Washington, a bipartisan group of fiscal conservatives, Citizens for Understanding Taxation (CUT), held a press conference and called for immediate, drastic cuts in public spending." Ohhhkay. Is there anyone else, besides the New America Foundation wonk who wrote this, [...]
Doctors in Chappaqua and Amityville have diagnosed among heterosexual teenagers at least 160 cases of a rare and often not at all fatal virus. Zero of the victims died less than 24 hours after the diagnosis was made.The cause of the outbreak is unknown, and there is as yet no evidence of contagion. But the doctors who have made the diagnoses, mostly in tony towns of Westchester, are alerting other physicians who treat large numbers of well-off heterosexuals to the problem in an effort to help identify more cases and to reduce the delay in pulling them out of private schools. [...]
"Once you’ve got this thing baked, you’ve got to get it out of the oven and into the refrigerator and start eating it pretty quickly. Because if you let it sit on the table — I’m going to beat the metaphor to death — the ants will start eating the cake up."
To Britain, where beleaguered Prime Minister Gordon Brown just cannot catch a break: "The launch of a new Labour poster campaign was interrupted by a car crash close to where cabinet members were giving their speeches." Apparently a Volkswagen Golf tried to avoid garbage truck and wound up hitting a bus shelter. In perhaps the only bit of good news the Labour party will receive during the duration of The Race To Run Knifecrime Island, "the Golf's driver, unemployed Omed Rashid, 27, said he would be voting Labour next Thursday." Labour strategist/Business Secretary Peter Mandelson denied that the crash was a metaphor for the party's campaign, but [...]
23. You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard.
22. The moon like a spotlight on the lake.
21. Today was a fairytale.
20. I need you like a heartbeat.
19. Spinning like a girl in a brand-new dress.
18. You're just another picture to burn.
17. You call me up again just to break me like a promise.
16. Untouchable, like a distant diamond sky.
While reading the nearly 9000-word account of the death of the Rocky Mountain News in the Denver magazine 5280, I came across the following literary device used to describe the newspapers situation. This, like many things, surely requires a handy (and possibly faux) German name!