People drop things on the Internet and run all the time. So we have to ask. In this edition, writer and co-founder of The Toast Mallory Ortberg tells us more about what it’s like to work at a famous conservative think tank.
I used to intern at the Hoover Institution AMA
— Mallory Ortberg (@mallelis) July 7, 2014
Mallory! So what happened here?
Oh! I forget how this came up, exactly, but yes, for one summer I was one of several interns at the Hoover Institution, which is a fairly conservative public policy think tank attached to Stanford University, and woe betide you if you [...]
“You were in a coma for two weeks. I had to make a serum from his super-blood.” —Dr. “Bones” McCoy to Captain James T. Kirk, after reversing Kirk’s death by radiation poisoning with Khan’s super-blood.
Ridiculous, to think it all started over a tribble. A lifeless bundle of fur. I always kept a dead tribble in my Curio of Maladies in those days, for medical reasons, and was especially glad of it when they finally hauled Khan’s body aboard for study after the battle.
Kirk was particularly dead that day; I remember because everyone was crying and the science woman kept all of her clothes on. As is [...]
You'll go down there and apologize. You'll go and apologize now. It's ridiculous not to, ridiculous even to wait as long as you have to do it. Stupid and petulant and a waste of time to wait here. It was a stupid thing to say in the first place, too, as long as we're listing what ought to and what ought not to be done.
It was a stupid and a terrible thing to say and you knew that as you said it. You wanted to see what it would draw out, what the words would feel like in your mouth as you said them. Fine; now you know, [...]
• The average uterus is "cash only."
• When provoked or frightened, a uterus emits a high-pitched scream that instantly stuns its attacker.
• The natural enemies of the uterus are the locust, the hawk, the carpenter ant, and the witch.
• It is possible to use a uterus to determine the nearest source of fresh water or magnetic North but not both.
• A uterus will freeze at any temperature below that of 15C.