Posts tagged as Liz Colville
Five Years in New York: To the Class of 2010 from the Class of 2005
To whom it may concern: READ MORE
Liveblogging the Friskies "Adventureland" Commercial
0:01 OK this is
0:02 reasonable enough.
0:03 This looks
0:04 familiar.
0:05 Wait those streamer things
0:06 kind of remind me of a
0:07 Pantene ad. Like illustrating
0:08 the magic of hair chemicals/cat food.
0:09 Now this is like The Lion, The Witch and
0:10 The
0:11 Wardrobe,
0:12 where a weird mirror
0:13 floating in space
0:14 equals wardrobe.
0:15 OK this is just UNFAIR.
0:16 NO CAT
0:17 experiences this kind of
0:18 ecstasy not even
0:19 on CATNIP. The
0:20 animation is atrocious. Those
0:21 turkeys are like something
0:22 from a computer game from 1997. Nanosaur!
0:23 What are the turkeys so
0:24 happy about? He is going to eat
0:25 them! This singing is like
0:26 a backing track on that sellout
0:27 Liz Phair album.
0:28 Don't fall off the
0:29 cliff!!!!!!!! Damn, cats are agile.
0:30 Is that a litter? As in the thing
0:31 that someone rich sits in while minions
0:32 carry it and walk? Oh no, it's a boat.
0:33 Cats hate water! Thank god for pirate ships!
0:34 The cat is meowing as if to say
0:35 "Where the fuck am I?!?!? I want to
0:36 go hooooooooooooooome.
0:37 REOW."
0:38 OK safely in pirate ship.
0:39 Failing to catch any fish because fish are computer-animated.
0:40 Not actually looking directly at fish
0:41 because fish have been fake CG'd into this
0:42 lucy-in-the-sky-with-fishes world.
0:43 Oh yeah,
0:44 OF COURSE SOME RARE ENDANGERED
0:45 PHEASANTS ARE GOING TO ROLL DOWN
0:46 A RED CARPET FOR YOU. OBVIOUSLY.
0:47 (THEY MIGHT JUST BE TURKEYS.)
0:48 Okay now there's an entire drum circle
0:49 of prey.
0:50 Oh but
0:51 maybe they are dancing in a farewell
0:52 like get the fuck out of here
0:53 don't eat us! We'll be nice to you if you
0:54 don't eat us!
0:55 There he/she goes. Wait did he just
0:56 come out of the washing machine?
0:57 Yes the reality is that you are just
0:58 eating 99-cent horse meat.
0:59 SORRY ABOUT THAT,
0:60 MEOWIEKINS. READ MORE
The Only Three Female Musicians, According to Many Male Music Critics
In this February issue of Fictional Indie Music Magazine, we're celebrating! We've finally reached the bottom of our winter promo pile, and oddly enough, all of the remaining promos are by female musicians. This is purely coincidental! And there is no correlation between this and the fact that there is only one female music critic working in this office and we can't remember whether her name is Heather or Jennifer. READ MORE
The Wikipedia Entry for the iPad... Until Today, by Liz Colville
This article is about Apple's allegedly portable device iPad. For other uses, see iPad (disambiguation). For the handheld digital music device, see iPod. For the gadget that looks like something Jon King would flash during a CNN election broadcast, see iPad(2). READ MORE
The Unofficial, Unpublished Introduction To An Unfinished Memoir That You Totally Knew Existed, Discovered by Liz Colville
"Committed is an unfurling of [Elizabeth] Gilbert's profound anxiety about reëntering a legally binding arrangement that she does not really believe in. All this ambivalence, expressed in her high-drama prose, can be a lot to handle. (One generally doesn't indulge another person's emotional processing at this length unless the jabbering is likely to conclude with sex.)" -Ariel Levy, The New Yorker, Jan. 11, 2010. READ MORE
