In what feels suspiciously like a post engineered to elicit this very link, the folks at Flavorwire have put together a list of the 15 best fictional bears. Okay, fine, here's your link. HAPPY NOW?
15 Great Songs About The Death Penalty That Will Hopefully One Day Sound More Archaic Than They Do Now
A new Amnesty International report says that worldwide trends show that capital punishment is "becoming a thing of the past." Here's hoping so. But the fact that China and the U.S. are not leading the way in this regard, but rather, pulling the numbers in the other direction, well, that seems bad, doesn't it?
16. Liz: She'll be like, "Whaaat?" (41:48)
15. Jack: Wait, you're Sam? (42:16)
14. Grizz: Wait, you're Sam? Don't even say it. (41:26)
13. Kenneth: So the whole show just takes place here at 30 Rockefeller Plaza—is that right, Ms. Lemon? [Yes sir...] I know, and I love it. (42:28)
12. Dot Com: Tracy is exactly where you think he is, Liz. It's the closest thing he has to hiding out in a church. (30:50)
"Gooch, what's all the fuss about, homie? Your latest work Trap God is still in our rotation and you haven't had buzz like this since The State vs. Radric Davis. And it ain't because of no bickering beef. It's cause the trap beats and charismatic flows are back on point like Rondo. But there you go ruffling everyone's feathers. With all due respect, we need less diss antics and more ratchet musical masterpieces. You ain't been locked up in a minute. So stay in it to win it and stack that unnecessary bullshit on the shelf. No one's questioning your realness, the deal is, we just want more good [...]
Other New York Times Opinion Writers Who Must Be Punished, Like Nate Silver, For Discussing Gambling
- "I’d bet anything that if the president staked out such an Obama Plan, Buffett and a lot of other business leaders would endorse it."—Thomas Friedman
- "To his immense credit he took a big gamble on killing Osama Bin Laden."—Roger Cohen
- "I’ll bet he’s not a Charlie Stross reader; if he were, he’d know about the scene in The Jennifer Morgue involving a PowerPoint presentation that turns anyone who watches it into a murderous zombie."—Paul Krugman
- "The bet Punch Sulzberger made his whole career is that people wanted — and would pay for — great journalism."—Joe Nocera
- "If I had to bet which candidate was [...]
23. You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard.
22. The moon like a spotlight on the lake.
21. Today was a fairytale.
20. I need you like a heartbeat.
19. Spinning like a girl in a brand-new dress.
18. You're just another picture to burn.
17. You call me up again just to break me like a promise.
16. Untouchable, like a distant diamond sky.
The whole thing about lists on the Internet is that, unless they are written by me, they are in no way authoritative and are actually constructed to create controversy and contention, so when you call one out for failing to include your preferred entries you are in fact playing right into the hands of whoever formulated the list—no doubt did it for that exact purpose—which means it is a waste of your time to engage. That said, how you can make a list of The 10 Best Townes Van Zandt Songs and not include "White Freightliner Blues" is beyond me. Also "No Lonesome Tune." Also "Buckskin Stallion Blues." And [...]
12. Juror #10
11. Juror #9
10. Juror #3
9. Juror #7
8. Juror #4
151. “French Movie Theme” 150. “Annie-Dog” 149. “Pastachio Medley” 148. “The Boy” 147. “Bugg Superstar 146. “Spaced” 145. “Pulseczar” 144. “A Night Like This” 143. “Take Me Down” 142. “Shame” 141. “Glass and the Ghost Children” 140. “Medellia of the Gray Skies” 139. “Rotten Apples” 138. “La Dolly Vita” 137. “Meladori Magpie” 136. “The Bells” 135. “17” 134. “Tonite Reprise” 133. “Blank” 132. “Pennies”
24. S (Franklin Avenue Shuttle)
50. Vermont 49. Colorado 48. Alaska 47. Connecticut 46. South Dakota 45. North Dakota 44. Utah 43. Maine 42. Wyoming 41. Iowa 40. Wisconsin
- "Reckoner," Radiohead
- "The Big Guns," Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
- "Love Story," Taylor Swift
- "You've Got a Friend In Me," Randy Newman
Other Things Missouri Representative Todd Akin Believes To Be True About The Uterus, Besides Its Ability To "Shut Down" A Legitimate Rape
• The average uterus is "cash only."
• When provoked or frightened, a uterus emits a high-pitched scream that instantly stuns its attacker.
• The natural enemies of the uterus are the locust, the hawk, the carpenter ant, and the witch.
• It is possible to use a uterus to determine the nearest source of fresh water or magnetic North but not both.
• A uterus will freeze at any temperature below that of 15C.
23 Replacement Similes For Humans To Use Once All The Animals Are Dead And No One Knows What "Animals" Were
Now that we're well on into our planet's sixth mass extinction event, and with recent news that we're charging towards environmental catastrophe faster than ever, it's time we start thinking about contingencies not in terms of "if" but in terms of "when." Let's say, just for argument's sake, that the human species will survive. Some people, like Annalee Newitz, author of Scatter, Adapt and Remember: How Humans Will Survive A Mass Extinction, think we will! But even if she's right, certainly, there will be changes we'll have to get used to. Besides the hilarious "Great, I'll have beachfront property" jokes the wittier among us [...]
46. Nick and the Glimmung
45. Galactic Pot-Healer
44. The Zap Gun
43. Mary and the Giant
42. A Maze of Death
41. The Game-Players of Titan
40. The Broken Bubble
39. Dr. Bloodmoney, or How We Got Along After the Bomb
38. The Ganymede Takeover
37. Voices from the Street
36. Deus Irae
9. Virgin Atlantic
Did you get your Hurricane Sandy mementos yet? A whimsical "I survived Hurricane Sandy" mousepad is one of many excellent ideas floating around, post-storm, and we have gathered a few others you might want to implement immediately:
- Marathon contestants are welcome, but during the run they must wear BabyBjörns filled with supplies to be delivered door-to-door along the route.
- Outlawed giant soda cups can be used to scoop dead baby rats from your drinking water.
Do you live in a home without books or magazines? Or have you burned them all for heat yet? Then great news! It's likely a good chunk of the East Coast may lose power and Internet. So here are some things that you could either PRINT OUT (yes, I am serious) or of course also save to your nice, long-lasting-battery'd digital reading device.
The story of the Occupy Wall Street Archive starts with Jeremy Bold, so we might as well too. When Hollywood decides to cash in and make its OWS movie, central casting could do worse than work off a picture of Bold—he has a dark goatee and black [...]