Posts Tagged: Kobe Bryant
1

Buttock Flavor Enquiry Preserved For Posterity In Pages Of August Journal

"'He said Shaq gave a bitch a mil—I don't do that 'cause my name's Shaquille. I love 'em but don't leave 'em. I got a vasectomy, now I can't breed 'em. Kobe, how my ass taste?' The crowd at the club joined a smiling O'Neal in repeating the zinger several times in unison while he bent over and flaunted his Barkleyesque rump." [Related]

6

Barack Obama's New Council of Advisors

As anyone who once gave $15 to the Obama campaign knows, POTUS had a birthday this weekend. We signed the card, along with the family dog… and Michelle left town.

Naturally, the most powerful man in the galaxy had but one option: invite over a Murderer's Row of basketball greats past and present to play some ball and have an informal cook-out. Footage from this unusual event is fast becoming the Holy Grail for, well, me; if nothing else, we deserve a few choice vignettes. There's infinite grist for jokes-"did you hear the one about Kobe Bryant, Bill Russell, and the last bag of chips?"-and, more seriously, a thousand [...]

2

Kobe Bryant: Swine Flu?

Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant missed practice yesterday with a "sore throat," which I think we all know is SECRET CODE FOR SWINE FLU. Or at least that's the rumor I'd be spreading, just because it seems like the swine flu hysteria is starting to die down and this is exactly the kind of shot in the arm that could keep it out front for a few more news cycles.