Posts Tagged: jokes
2

Final Bracket Joke Made

Putting together a bracket of bracket jokes which will of course contain itself

— Chris Mohney (@chrismohney) March 19, 2014

I know it is only Wednesday, but maybe we should call it a week now, because I feel like this is the giant wrench thrown into the creaking gears of the Internet for which some of us have spent so much time praying. But I guess I have been wrong before.

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Can You Construct A Functional Joke About A 9-Year-Old At The Oscars?

I'm glad @theonion apologized for calling Quvenzhané Wallis curt. She's nine years old, who cares if her answers are short.

— Jesse Berney (@jesseberney) February 25, 2013

So The Onion apologized today for one of their many, many Oscars jokes last night. Which one? The one that was nooooottttt good or okay. Nooo, the other one.

Quentin Tarantino has been heavily criticized for his frequent use of the word "nigger" during tonight's red carpet interviews #Oscars2013

— The Onion (@TheOnion) February 25, 2013

Yeah, not that one. (That one is actually maybe good satire, about when and how some things are okay.) Buoyed [...]

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Jewish Joke Revue 100% Holocaust-Free

There's not a single Holocaust joke in the stage version of "Old Jews Telling Jokes."

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An Interview with X-Men's Cyclops, Who Sucks

Q. Let’s talk about the personnel change that many say redefined the X-men. The entire team left, except for you! A. Yes. I wanted them to stay, but they ignored me. Q. You had to rebuild the team from scratch. A. It was the hardest time for me as a leader. There was no one to lead. Q. What was your role in the recruitment of the new cast of international heroes? A. I mostly had to be patient while the Professor recruited them. It was very difficult.

This fake interview with Cyclops, of X-Men, is really funny… FOR MEGA-NERDS.

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In Philadelphia, "When Did The Toad Cross The Road" Is Almost More Important Than "Why"

The annual road-crossing migration of hundreds of toads from their normal habitats to the ponds where they breed in the Philadelphia neighborhood of Roxborough came early this year, and the off schedule resulted in quite a bit of toad carnage — the area's Toad Detour that is set up annually had yet to be erected. A sad story — but one with a happy ending that came this week: "Saturday, Sunday, and Monday evenings saw an average of 2,000 toadlets crossing Port Royal towards the woods at the Schuylkill Center. Most crossed between Hagy's Mill and Eva Street," according to the official blog set up to [...]

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Public Apology: Dear Lexis/Nexis Onsite Training Executive

Dear Lexis/Nexis onsite training executive,

I'm sorry you had to learn my secret password.

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Computer Apparently Designed To Help Jezebel Editors Fill Space

"I like my women like I like my computers … exported from a sweatshop in china." Meet the sexist joke-writing computer.

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People Have Been Misunderstanding Barack Obama's Friendly Teasing Of Hillary Clinton For Four Years

This has been bothering me for four years. And, since, in the lead-up to tonight's presidential debate, it's being talked about lot right now, I will talk about it a little more. I think lots of people are wrong: Barack Obama was not being "icy" or "condescending" or "arrogant" or "scornful" when he made the joke about Hillary Clinton being "likeable enough" in the 2008 democratic primary debate in New Hampshire. He was being funny in a nice, playful way. I thought it was great.

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What Are You Looking Forward to the Most at SxSW!!!

#Chevy is excited to connect through their innovations during #SXSW. Learn more here: bit.ly/z0JoxS

— SXSW (@sxsw) March 9, 2012

• The fun panels?

• The networking?

• The late nights with wacky drinking games?

• The hot viral rain of lab-made death that's going to wipe out everyone there in approximately 12 minutes? (Sorry, spoilers!)

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A Brief History of Why Everyone Hates Carlos Mencia

Been Caught Joke Stealing, or, There Is More Than One Reason to Dislike Carlos Mencia.

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Old Jews Telling Jokes: Max Rosenthal, Deadpan King

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Elements Of Economics In Order Of Relative Gayness

24. Nash Equilibrium/Stackelberg Competition

23. The Production Function

22. Pareto Optimality

21. The Phillips Curve

20. The Gauss–Markov theorem

19. Hysteresis

18. Say's Law

17. The Lucas critique

16. Theory of the Firm

15. Quantity theory of money

14. Keynesian Stabilization

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"I think the following 15 rape jokes are hilarious"

Well, Kate Harding went and made a list of rape jokes that she considers to be actually funny. (At least one of them did indeed make me laugh!) TRIGGER WARNER: Dane Cook is on the list. (Double trigger warning: "racist v. rapist" in this one. Complicated.)

3

Rollin' in the Gross

For some reason Adele was vehemently against the month of May. She acted like it didn't exist. So for example, May 15th = April 45th & so on

— Adele's Ex BF (@AdelesExBF) February 19, 2012

So this is happening.

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Telling Old Jokes About Catholics

The new issue of the London Review of Books is, as always, excellent-check out Elif Batuman's piece on creative writing programs-but I was particularly delighted by this bit from the letter section.

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That's What She Said

Gimme what ya got, Science! "Women are slower than men at understanding jokes – but enjoy them more when they do. Research shows that women use their brains more than men to process quips and have less expectation that they will be funny. But if the joke does hit the right note, they derive more pleasure from it." Also: Ladies tend to appreciate clever construction, while dudes go in for someone getting whacked in the nuts with a hammer. I would make an absolutely hysterical joke here about taking the extra time to enjoy a deep and penetrating experience for an amazing payoff, but I know it'd take [...]