Congratulations to Awl pal Jessica Grose, who has sold her debut novel to William Morrow. (That link is subscription-only, so know this: Sad Desk Salad is "told from the voice of a popular blogger who chronicles the rise and fall of her big scoop, where she must reconcile her values with the growing (ruthless) demands of a gossip- and reality-obsessed culture," but Jess assures us it is not a Devil Wears Prada kind of thing.)

"Dear Parents, I disown you. I've tried for ten years, but you've Wrecked it. I'll never Speak to you again. Your x child, Jessica." Awl pal Jess Grose, forced to examine her personal archives before her parents move house, discovers this gem of 10-year-old indignation. God, remember when everything seemed that important?