Posts Tagged: Iphone Apps

2013 Version Of Historic Obama Inauguration Is Just A Mobile Phone App

Remember the hope and joy of the 2009 inauguration of President Barack Obama, the historic first Hawiian to become president of the mainland United States? People were so excited—especially black people, who seemed to see something special about the Harvard law school graduate's move to national politics. (White conservatives were, in turn, very suspicious about African-Americans managing to travel to D.C. for the 2009 ceremony, while other blacks trapped in flooded New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina only managed to lose their homes, drown or get shot down by white cops.)

Anyway, things will be a lot smoother this year, in Washington. For one thing, hardly anybody wants to go [...]


If You Lose Your iPhone You Will Have A Baby

For the latest example of Americans' growing inability manage their own lives without the help of a trendy technological device, let's meet Doug Wilson of Arkansas.

During the day, he tends to carry the iPhone 4 in his hand. Putting it in his pocket would be too risky, he said, because he might miss a photo opportunity — like that crazy "rat tail" hairdo he saw at a fast-food spot recently. ("I was like, 'I've GOT to take a picture of this!'") And at night, access to this on-all-the-time gizmo is arguably more important than ever. First, there's the dog. Wilson uses his phone's LED camera flash [...]


New iPhone App Adds All The Excitement Of Exercise And Number Crunching To Fucking

This one's from the Sun, so take its origin story with a grain of salt, but anyway:"A WOMAN desperate to get her lazy boyfriend to exercise has invented an iPhone app that measures how many calories you burn off having sex. The 59p download, called the Bedometer, analyses the time and intensity of each romp…. The gizmo is put on the bed and measures raunchy activity using the iPhone or iPod Touch's motion sensor before adding up the calories." Listen, ladies, I don't care how badly you want your boyfriend to exercise: If he's only willing to have sex with you when there's an iPhone alongside you in [...]


Boobies Discovered On iPhone

Here is where you can go to find an app for your iPhone that features boobies. For other images of boobies, use your iPhone to search the Internet.


Web 2.Pope

Yeah, uh, pass, thanks: "You won't get a chance to poke him, but a new Vatican website is offering a Facebook application to 'meet the Pope'. The Roman Catholic church is keen to use the networking site to woo young people back and its site has has gone live. Another application allows the faithful to see the pontiff's speeches and messages on their iPhones or iPods."



Hey, look, it's an app for your iPhone that will help you track swine flu! Maybe next they can come up with an app which reveals how absolutely germ-ridden your iPhone is just from everyday use.


Jew App Riles Frogs

"Computer giant Apple could face legal action in France over an iPhone app which tells users whether thousands of celebrities are Jewish or not. The application’s designer, who is Jewish himself, says he invented it for entertainment not racial profiling."


Algorithm Helps Determine How Much Longer You Will Be Able To Enjoy Sweet Nicotine

"Osaka-based game software and graphics developer Proge Inc. has created a free software application to help smokers roughly determine how many years they have left on this planet based on their age, the number of cigarettes they smoke each day and how many years they have been slaves to nicotine. Users input the data into the 'Death Meter' and a countdown until their likely demise appears on the screen over the image of mocking Grim Reaper with a cigarette between his boney fingers." -Or you could just look at the phlegm you cough up each morning and figure it out that way. I mean that's how I do [...]


Where The Yobs Are

On Knifecrime Island, persons perpetrating anti-social behaviors which are not considered to merit prosecution are issued an Anti-Social Behaviour Order, or ASBO, which is supposed to prevent them from engaging in those behaviors. Offenses for which an ASBO is issued include drunkenness, intimidation, violence, vandalism, and shoplifting (i.e., being British). Now there's a free app that will tell you just how lairy the hoodies in your current location are!


It's The Virtual Girlfriend iPhone App!

I'm not usually one to cry sexism or yammer on about society's objectification of women, but even I am disgusted: This avatar of femininity is offensive to everyone. Vapid, giggly, and made up in a babydoll aesthetic that suggests women exist solely to fulfill the basest fantasies of men, this appalling spectacle fills me with self-loathing and a general distaste for the way in which heterosexual desire exerts itself on our culture. And the girl in the iPhone application is somewhat distasteful as well.


Apple Profits Not Coming From iFart

Here's something that will shock you to your very core: Even if Apple is making a profit on its App Store, it makes considerably more money selling iPhones and iPods! I know, right? RELATED: Rob Walker would like you to create these two apps.


Trent Reznor, Entrepreneur App-Maker

Here is a strange video in which Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails explains his new iPhone app! Which has fan social networking!


New App Helps iPhone Owners Be Even Bigger Assholes

"If you wish your cellphone banter sounded less like something overheard on Jersey Shore and more like an evening with Ian McKellen, then a new iPhone app developed by a team of poets, graphic designers and computer scientists at Concordia University in Montreal could be just the thing to improve your oratory flair. The Victorianator is a game in which players score points for how well they master the techniques of Victorian elocution, from giving words their proper inflection to accenting their delivery with appropriate gesticulation." [Via]


Why Tuesdays Suck

Hey, Science, I'm feeling kind of down. Any idea why? "According to researchers from the London School of Economics, our moods are at their brightest on Saturday, with the weekend feelgood factor continuing into Sunday. But while levels of contentment drop when the working week begins on Monday, it is on Tuesday that we reach our lowest ebb."


Mussolini iPhone App Leaves Room For Improvement

It feels like Italy Day here at The Awl, right? Anyway, a new iPhone application that collects the text from over 100 Benito Mussolini speeches is a big hit in that country. As Der Spiegel reports, though, there is controversy.


Annals Of Law: Farting Apps In Conflict

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c

iPhone Crap Apps Latest Signal Of Humanity's Inexorable Decline

You know, now I kind of regret that the swine flu petered out so quickly. Because I want everyone to die.