Awl pal Rod Townsend has started a website for homosexuals. He's staking out the "postfabulous" space, which I'm pretty sure I'm not in (I'm either pre-fabulous or so post-fabulous I can't remember fabulous?), but surely a rich vein. Anyway, go say hi. @1:55 PM 9
Free Wi-Fi in McDonald's starts next month! Soon the only exercise we will get will involve walking up to the counter for more fries! It's been a productive few millennia, human beings, make sure you grab yourselves an apple pie on the way out. @2:20 PM 7
I Hate Your Website, #49 in a Series: The New Yorker @10:00 AM
JESUS CHRIST, IT TOOK ME 49 SECONDS TO EVEN FIND THE "TABLE OF CONTENTS" LINK ON THE NEW YORKER'S WEBSITE. All I can see is "MOST EMAILED" and "FOLLOW US ON TWITTER" and a "GET A FREE UMBRELLA" and BUNCH OF DAMN BLOGS and a parade of podcasts that, does anyone listen to those? Maybe they do, I don't know, I don't have a long commute or whatever. Seriously, what the hell people! I want to read your word-based content, I do, I value it, but you are hurting me here! Oooh, a new Vijay Seshadri poem! 19
The Internet, with Maura Johnston: Martha Stewart Show Embraces Twitter, Grills Founder @10:58 AM
Two weeks ago, MTV's Video Music Awards embraced the liveblogging concept, hiring Internet personality-construct iJustine to preside over mentions of the show on the microblogging service Twitter—and they reaped Internet rewards when Kanye West ran up on stage and sparked a million angry blog posts. Martha Stewart's eponymous TV show took a similar tack yesterday, when it taped a show to air this Friday devoted to what the domestic empress described as "all you need to know about tech and social netwworking" [sic]. Attendees were encouraged to Tweet and blog throughout the taping; there was even an official hashtag that the warm-up comedian confusedly announced to the audience between segments. Martha's studio is as well-apportioned and spacious as one might expect, and the combination of bright-eyed audience members and open laptops kept bringing to mind a particularly well-designed lecture hall on the first day of fall quarter. READ MORE 9
The Wal-Mart Fat People Mockers Speak @10:53 AM
The team behind "People of Wal-Mart," a site I don't really love, have come out of the closet, revealing themselves to be two brothers (Adam and Andrew Kipple) and a friend (Luke Wherry), who hail from the greater Pittsburgh area and currently live in glamorous Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The brothers explained the site to CNN. READ MORE 33
Elsewhere: Apparently Michael Vick Is In The News? @9:50 AM
You should know that Awl contributor Tom Scocca is guest-hosting on Deadspin today! Something something "Orioles," something something "man bites dog." (I don't know, sports.) 3
The Great Fat Freakout @9:28 AM
I have been sitting on my stoop in the East Village this morning like an old Polish woman and I have counted exactly zero guys with pot bellies, even though this is the hot new trend, according to the elitist New York Times. Here is the thing: Manhattan is an incredibly trim place, on the most part. Last night I was walking by Gramercy Park and I was behind a large group of people who were clearly from out of town, and I could tell only because of two things: they were wearing amazingly cheap clothing and they were, well, a large group of people! That is a fine choice for them! I am not here to judge. For one thing, the food in America is terrible, horrible, disgusting "food" and really there is nothing for them to eat that is healthy. The problem is that we are kind of not allowed to even mention it. And so writer Cintra Wilson, who is well-known as a TOTALLY CRAZY person, is in big trouble now. READ MORE 91
More on LOLCats: It Is Creole, Not Pidgin @2:30 PM
Awl friend Anil Dash explains why we get all those Google alerts for things like "i luv awl my friendeses cats." LANGUAGE! 6
White People Horrified About Extremely Minor Westchester Integration @3:30 PM
750 lucky black or otherwise not white families are going to be plonked down in Pound Ridge and Larchmont and other tony, nearly all-white communities of Westchester, at the astonishing cost of $50 million. Wait: do not get your panties too bunched! Westchester took that much federal aid and then funneled the poor blacks into segregated sections of its cities. Oh, the Times commentariat is going wild. READ MORE 21
Ben Stein Is Sad @1:00 PM
Fired New York Times business contributor Ben Stein is sad. Particularly, he's sad "that the Internet has become a backyard gossip freeway for the whole world's sick people to pour out their neuroses." Well what else did he expect it to become? Also he forgot the part about how it's good for getting gay sex. Anyway, here is a small list of Stein's delusions regarding his firing. 6
An Interview with Intern Thomas Kaplan, From Inside Vanity Fair's Closet @4:39 PM
Vanity Fair.com's summer intern Thomas Kaplan has been locked in a Conde Nast research closet to watch cable news from 9-5 for four days straight—while being broadcast on the internets. Today, while he alternately sat through CNBC, had lunch with a pretty, young fellow intern, and asked his viewers what celebrities he looks like, he also chatted with me—a former Vanity Fair intern myself—about his experiences at the forefront of modern journalism. READ MORE 5
Sotomayor Hearings Start at 10! @9:37 AM
Unemployed, glued to your computer and have a faint sense of civic interest? Here is your C-Span stream to watch Sonia Sotomayor get grilled about how she hates white people. They actually let you choose which camera view you want to watch, which is rather wonderful. 2
The Military and the White Power Facebook @8:56 AM
I've always wondered what it's like to have what they call White Pride. I mean, I understand people who like the Gay Pride, and the Black Pride and the East Asian Pride, and so when I think about it casually the White Pride doesn't sound so crazy? Though I always get hung up on what is the "white," since you know: were you white 100 years ago, Irish person, for instance? And the whole way "pride" veers into "supremacy" is more than a little troubling (less so when it is coming from the gays, because, ha, not so scared of them). So it is, yes, upsetting that US Soldiers are hanging out on the "racist version of Facebook run by the National Socialist Movement" and decrying the "multiculturalism." 16
Welcome The Faster Times @4:18 PM
Oh ho, a bit later than promised, now The Faster Times is live! I don't quite know what to do with it yet and I'm not sure why it's faster but I'm clicking on things. Oooh, I hit "surprise me" and it sent me to the wine section! That was a surprise. Ooh, I hit "surprise me" again and it took me to the Civil Liberties section! Ha ha, that's fun! Yay Internet. Though one thing I will say, I will take our advice columnist over all of theirs any day. 10
Ben Kunkel Was Right @1:19 PM
Oh, so this is what the Internet is for: one hundred people show up to comment/project on girl's outfit, body. 21
College Humor Scores Ironic Victory @7:41 AM
Score another one for the fun-loving boys of College Humor; now the Washington Post covers their stealth/fun campaign to make the infamous "Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt" the best-selling thing on Amazon. Their next project, we hear: a grassroots, Internet-based movement reforming parental abortion notification laws in Midwestern states. Oh no, wait, sorry, this just in—actually they're going to hit the beach and pound some brews. Rock! 2
The Two Twitter Users You Meet In Heaven @7:17 AM
Pretty much every day I decide I want to nuke Twitter from my life. But the secret is in being careful with what you consume on the Twitter. Twitter's greatest user is longtime indie musician Kristin Hersh, of Throwing Muses fame—and now I realize that her husband Billy O'Connell has his own account too. If you only follow the two of them, you get this hilarious double open-faced sandwich of child-rearing and band-touring and adult debauchery. Related true story: I walked up behind a friend the other day, and he was watching the Twitter tutorial video on their website. Me: "What are you doing!?" Him: "THIS DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE." 4
Explained: The 'Times' Has Two Pay Website Models @9:25 AM
Here are the two ways that the New York Times is considering making money off their website, explained! This is gonna be fun/sad to watch. 6
Twitter To Add On Live-Time Wikipedia News Thingey! @10:43 AM
Twitter is going to turn its search results into a real-time Google News-Wikipedia mash-up? Or, you could say, a giant topic-indexed blog with millions of idiot writers. Like Wikipedia, but without the structure fascists! 2
Pentagon (Over)Spends $200 Million A Year Dealing With Hackers @9:21 AM
The Pentagon—really, the "Department of Defense cyber command force"! LOL—will admit today that it has spent $100 million in the past six months dealing with hackers. Doesn't that seem inexplicable? 5
When Is The Internet Going To Be Free? @4:23 PM
Remember when there was going to be Internet in the air all around us?
I have been walking around the area of NYU Village north of SoHo (Large Italy?) for an hour trying to get some free WiFi and now I have apparently paid 1.5 Euros for some Internet because this is actually Sweden or something. Didn't Clay Shirky or Jeff Jarvis write a book about how the Internet was going to be everywhere and effortless and something? This always-fail prisoner's dilemma of thousands of locked Airport networks giving us cancer while not actually delivering Internet? This is NOT WORKING OUT, PEOPLE. 15
You Can Be A Patron Of The Arts For One Dollar @11:56 AM
Kickstarter has launched; it is a new micro-funding scheme for artists and makers of things in which anyone may "pledge" money towards a concept—you only pay your pledge if the proposer meets his or her fundraising goal. I am maybe going to go give a dollar to this guy who wants to write a novel about "an amnesiac ninja trying to save the world from a demon invasion." I would read the hell out of that. 14
Talking Hats VIDEO BLOG: Ken Layne With Choire Sicha On Wonkette, Teabags, Traffic And The End Of The World @4:30 PM
On behalf of all of us here at The Awl, I wanted to ask Ken Layne, proprietor of Wonkette, some questions about how to run a website, and also about the politics, which he supposedly knows about. And about how the world is flat, and how bad that last fake "Star Wars" movie was. Also the hobos in our neighborhood. So we did it on video! (PLEASE NOTE: It takes a second to buffer. PLEASE NOTE: Please don't be horrified by The Awl's offices. ALSO: I am an idiot.) Anyway, it's just like BLOGGING HEADS, but half as long and with slightly more cursing, and with more drinking and smoking. We like to call it: Talking Hats. (But we are open to suggestions.) 56
LoLz @3:57 PM
Writing for Nonreaders in the Postprint Era: A Syllabus 7
Complainers Make the World So Drab! @9:14 AM
I just really enjoy reading a Joyce Wadler story in the Times, always each more charming than the last. This newest one is a little thing about terrible summer houseguests. (I also enjoy saying this because I know there are people inside the Times who find her infuriating. They are wrong!) Anyway: adorable. And I like that at least one commenter found it within himself to offer the oldest-fashioned blowback: "It's August. Someone has run out of material. Seriously, how did this get past the editors?" You, commenter, have no joie de vivre! You have no esprit de corps! You are boring me, get off my Internet! 11