Posts Tagged: Idiocy
1

You Are Too Dumb To Use Soap Right

"Antibacterial products have been shown to be effective at killing microorganisms in hospitals and other healthcare settings, and toothpaste with triclosanmay help people with the gum disease gingivitis, Halden said. But there's little evidence that these products are any more beneficial than regular soap for the general population, Halden said. This lack of benefit may be because people often do not use the products correctly: To effectively kill microbes, people need to wash their hands with antibacterial products for 20 to 30 seconds, but studies show people use the soaps for just six seconds on average, Halden said."

13

"Bring Back Bloomberg"! Rich Horrorshows Freak Out Over Fake Snowstorm Class War In Pinhead Rag

Where are the plows @BilldeBlasio ??? @kallos ???? @newyorkpost No Plows uptown!

— MollyJongFast (@MollyJongFast) January 21, 2014

Yesterday afternoon, vicious short-sighted monsterpieces went howling to the worst piece of paper on the whole east coast, like the crazy petulant vampire-children they apparently are:

“I can’t believe de Blasio could do this. He is putting everyone in danger,” said Barbara Tamerin, who was using ski poles to get around 81st Street and Lexington Avenue.

“What is he thinking? We’re supposed to get up to a foot of snow and nobody on the Upper East Side is supposed to blink an eye? I can barely [...]

10

Oh Those "Crazy" One Direction Fans

"The girls aren't crazy—they're just excited." Early on in the One Direction documentary This Is Us, a neuroscientist details the dopamine rush a fan feels when she thinks about the band, and provides confirmation for what Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, and Liam Payne have always insisted: Directioners are not crazy—and they're not to be ignored. In interview after interview over the past three years, usually surrounded by thousands of screaming young women, the band has politely corrected reporters who characterize their followers as "insane" or "deranged." "We prefer 'passionate,'" they'll demur. "Or 'dedicated.'"

There’s more to this than semantics. Possibly you don’t realize how [...]

3

LOL Headlines: "Uproar over proposed bills delays answer to Internet piracy"

Losingest front-page newspaper headline of the day, from the LA Times: "Legislation uproar delays solution to Internet piracy." Yup. Congratulations, everyone, you have DELAYED SOLVING INTERNET PIRACY with your SOPA/PIPA protests. SHAME ON YOU.

6

The Rich Rehab Differently, Like by Hugging Horses

Celebrities flock to Sundance, Utah, of course, to flaunt their Q ratings and take the measure of the great entertainment imperium in the heady mountain air. But the rich and famous are also notoriously inclined to get a little too heady when left to their own devices-and Sundance also has the perfect setup for that dilemma, reports Fortune writer Claudia Wallis: the Cirque Lodge, "the rehab center du jour for those who can afford to go anywhere"-where rates top out at $1,595 a day for a minimum 30-day stay.

7

Who's Getting Fired For Today's Manhattan Jet Panic?

I would estimate it's about 45 minutes until Marc Mugnos is fired. Who's Mark Mugnos? He's the director of ops for New York City's "Citywide Event Coordination and Management." And he's the one the federal government told about the low-flying planes and fighter jets over Manhattan today that caused crowds of people to (quite reasonably!) run screaming in a panic. The CECM is a new outfit, formed in 2007, that actually has nothing to do with dealing with the FAA or national security (ALLEGEDLY). They deal with, like, street fairs and parade permits. (And probably, it's his boss that's being fired now. Also? The NYPD also got an email [...]

1

April Fools' Day Reminder

Internet: There is still plenty of time to consider not posting that hilarious April Fools’ Day prank you’ve been working so hard on.

— Jason Santa Maria (@jasonsantamaria) March 18, 2014

This man is right. There is nothing funny you can do for April Fools' Day and even if you think you are somehow special or you've come up with the one exception that when properly executed will actually make people change their opinions about the humor of April Fools' Day gags you're not and you haven't and seriously go fuck yourself because April Fools' Day bits are the worst and they first make us all feel bad [...]

0

Why Twitter Is Stupider Than Usual And No It's Not The IPO

Here is why a bunch of putative adults are running around on social media with Count Chocula names now. [Via]

9

NYPD Honcho Wants to Frisk You Even More

NYPD honcho Ray Kelly lost his minnnnnnd last night. He appears to think that not enough poor and/or black people are out in the streets demanding more stop and frisk, so that there will allegedly be fewer murders and shootings right now. Stop and frisk in New York City already engages about 3/4 of a million people this year—and it would have pretty much "zero" effect on how there were 16 murders in New York in the course of five days earlier this month. (Also, of those murders, three were mothers killing their children, and one was a crazed stabber shot by transit cops.)

This is funny timing [...]

24

First We Fire All the Doctors (With Unwashed Hands)

"Changing the message from 'Wash Your Hands to Protect Yourself' to 'Wash Your Hands to Protect Your Patients,' the study found, could motivate some doctors and nurses to wash their hands more frequently." —I guess. Or, you know, they could just start putting doctors who don't wash their hands on a month's unpaid leave. OR! They could forcibly graft a nice hospital-acquired staph infection onto their faces maybe. I don't know: if doctors aren't getting the practice of washing hands between patients, should they even be doctors? Sorry, I know all workplace best practices are hard! But this question of "motivation" seems absurd.

12

'Thousand Jokes' Finally Has Its Day of Cannibalistic Infamy

It was bound to happen that me and Heather Locklear's proud semi-hometown of Thousand Oaks would end up in the news for an act of politically-motivated cannibalism. (Heather went to Newbury Park High School. That means she is a slut! I went to Thousand Oaks middle school, which was an idyllic place of breezeways and white people-the kind of middle school where the librarian got upset because I was reading The Color Purple, inappropriately adult material. You know, no matter that it won the Pulitzer that year! Idiots.) Thousand Oaks was actually created by a corporation, by the way! The Janss family, real estate developers, made the massive town out [...]

7

The Market Sucked, But Not For Everyone Who Got Out

When that sternly-worded Goldman Sachs statement came via email last night regarding Citigroup, and how everyone should not have it anywhere near their stock portfolio, I thought: is tomorrow going to be a real hosing in the market? Yes, yes it was. Even some of our favorite finance bloggers have lost their minds: "Is this it? Was today the official end of the 6-week 25% rally that started in early March? Or is today just a particularly painful hiccup?" I don't know, you tell me, money-blogger! Also, painful for who? Painful for all the people who made 20 to 25% on short-term gains in the last two months [...]

4

Every Time You Think Things Can't Get Any Stupider Someone Adds An App Component

"For wine-lovers, the Miracle Machine is aptly named. The device helps you create your own wine at home in only a couple of days. All you need is the gadget and a smartphone."

2

The Programmer's Lament: It Could Totally Be Worse!

You think Healthcare Dot Gov is a national disaster? Well let's not forget this:

In June, 2001, the F.B.I. awarded the contractor Science Applications International Corp. (S.A.I.C.) a fourteen-million-dollar contract to upgrade the F.B.I.’s computer systems. The project was called Virtual Case File, or V.C.F., and it would ultimately cost over six hundred million dollars before finally being abandoned, in early 2005, unfinished and never deployed. V.C.F. was then replaced with a project called Sentinel, expected to launch in 2009, which was “designed to be everything V.C.F. was not, with specific requirements, regular milestones and aggressive oversight,” according to F.B.I. officials who spoke to the Washington Post in 2006. [...]

17

Tonight: NBC Airs Sleazy Trumped-Up Case Against Local Sleazemonger

The teaser for tonight's "Rock Center with Brian Williams" very special episode on Gawker Media is the most mindbogglingly dumb thing I've ever seen. It features reporter Jamie Gangel acting like a prosecutor, with all her notes bundled in her hand. She is also holding a pen? Just in case she wants to jot down some notes. After reading off a list of adjectives, to get "unapologetic" Gawker honcho Nick Denton to word-associate with them, or whatever, she then presents her case: "these blogs pay for salacious scoops, publish rumors, settle lawsuits when they have to, and if they get it wrong, they simply update."

To illustrate that when [...]

24

Pink Floyd's Roger Waters Is So Totally Antisemitic!

Here's part of the stage show that's gotten former Pink Floyd frontman Roger Waters in trouble with the Anti-Defamation League. "Of course Waters has every right to express his political views about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict through his music and stagecraft," said ADL head Abe Foxman in a statement. "However, the images he has chosen, when put together in the same sequence, cross a line into anti-Semitism." (To wit: "An animated scene has projected images of planes dropping bombs in the shape of Jewish stars of David, followed by dollar signs.") Foxman, of course, just has tons of credibility after his anti-Park 51 stance. But maybe he's got a [...]

5

The Lazy Assistants of William Morris Endeavor

There are a couple of things that William Morris Endeavor clients are hot to buy rights for! Like, someone there totally wants to write a screenplay about Allen Stanford, the alleged total financial crook, and they want to get his life rights. Or get his life rights through the recent Vanity Fair piece on him, if that's easier. And also there is interest in Devin Friedman's GQ article, "Will You Be My Black Friend?" Why do we know these useless bits of information? Because someone in the "story department" at WME will not stop emailing their j-school alumni list-serv whenever this person wants someone's email address. Oh honey, it's [...]