Rich People Things, with Chris Lehmann: The Rich Rehab Differently, Like by Hugging Horses @11:25 AM
Celebrities flock to Sundance, Utah, of course, to flaunt their Q ratings and take the measure of the great entertainment imperium in the heady mountain air. But the rich and famous are also notoriously inclined to get a little too heady when left to their own devices-and Sundance also has the perfect setup for that dilemma, reports Fortune writer Claudia Wallis: the Cirque Lodge, "the rehab center du jour for those who can afford to go anywhere"-where rates top out at $1,595 a day for a minimum 30-day stay. READ MORE 6
'Thousand Jokes' Finally Has Its Day of Cannibalistic Infamy @11:45 AM
It was bound to happen that me and Heather Locklear's proud semi-hometown of Thousand Oaks would end up in the news for an act of politically-motivated cannibalism. (Heather went to Newbury Park High School. That means she is a slut! I went to Thousand Oaks middle school, which was an idyllic place of breezeways and white people—the kind of middle school where the librarian got upset because I was reading The Color Purple, inappropriately adult material. You know, no matter that it won the Pulitzer that year! Idiots.) Thousand Oaks was actually created by a corporation, by the way! The Janss family, real estate developers, made the massive town out of a charming, bunny-infested chaparral valley, and gave the streets names like "Avenida de Los Arboles," which—really, white people? There's something odd about a town that hates Mexicans yet gives the streets "classy" Spanish names, no? Also, they were big on cul-de-sacs. So now, yes, a "65-year-old man had his finger bitten off Wednesday evening at a health care rally in Thousand Oaks." READ MORE 12
The Lazy Assistants of William Morris Endeavor @10:50 AM
There are a couple of things that William Morris Endeavor clients are hot to buy rights for! Like, someone there totally wants to write a screenplay about Allen Stanford, the alleged total financial crook, and they want to get his life rights. Or get his life rights through the recent Vanity Fair piece on him, if that's easier. And also there is interest in Devin Friedman's GQ article, "Will You Be My Black Friend?" Why do we know these useless bits of information? Because someone in the "story department" at WME will not stop emailing their j-school alumni list-serv whenever this person wants someone's email address. Oh honey, it's a recession! You should work a little harder, since, you know, people are getting laid off left and right, and because it is a "challenging, anxiety provoking and at times nerve wracking" time there? Anyway, here is Devin Friedman's email address! I found it through the Google! 5
Who's Getting Fired For Today's Manhattan Jet Panic? @8:35 PM
I would estimate it's about 45 minutes until Marc Mugnos is fired. Who's Mark Mugnos? He's the director of ops for New York City's "Citywide Event Coordination and Management." And he's the one the federal government told about the low-flying planes and fighter jets over Manhattan today that caused crowds of people to (quite reasonably!) run screaming in a panic. The CECM is a new outfit, formed in 2007, that actually has nothing to do with dealing with the FAA or national security (ALLEGEDLY). They deal with, like, street fairs and parade permits. (And probably, it's his boss that's being fired now. Also? The NYPD also got an email from the FAA yesterday and thought nothing of it.) The very idea that this is the entry portal for information from the federal government probably actually means that New York City and the federal government don't really communicate at all! 7
The Market Sucked, But Not For Everyone Who Got Out @5:17 PM
When that sternly-worded Goldman Sachs statement came via email last night regarding Citigroup, and how everyone should not have it anywhere near their stock portfolio, I thought: is tomorrow going to be a real hosing in the market? Yes, yes it was. Even some of our favorite finance bloggers have lost their minds: "Is this it? Was today the official end of the 6-week 25% rally that started in early March? Or is today just a particularly painful hiccup?" I don't know, you tell me, money-blogger! Also, painful for who? Painful for all the people who made 20 to 25% on short-term gains in the last two months and who sold this morning, pushing financials down? Probably not so much. The final call: Dow down 3.56%, big f'ing deal, tune in tomorrow. And also? Consider this, Wall Street haters: "If we become too cautious, the outlandish cartoon characters behind every big building or business in the world are less likely to be able to take the huge, incredible risks it takes to make it big." (Donald Trump? Is that you? No but seriously.) 7
