The heroic Iranian monkey who supposedly rode a rocket into space last week returned to Earth with strange new powers. For instance, the monkey's distinctive face mole was completely gone when the creature was photographed by government officials upon landing. The creature's white-blonde hair had changed to brunette, too, much like the hair of Moses changed from black to white after he spotted the Hebrew God cowering under a bush. What other mutant powers could the Persian primate have developed while exposed to dangerous gamma rays or whatever, in orbit?

The Times of London doubts the superhero animal's mysterious changes occurred in space. Could the sneaky Iranians have [...]

Apparently the "moon rock" the U.S. gave to Dutch Prime Minister Willem Drees to commemorate NASA's "moon mission" in 1969 has been revealed to be nothing more than petrified wood. The wood has been on display at the Dutch National Museum in Amsterdamn since Drees' death in 1988. The Dutch were also saddened to discover that the magic glowing crystals on display at the museum were pieces of gravel colored in yellow highlighter.