Posts Tagged: Health

Health Care Reform Reaches 'Improv' Phase

The new health care: Hospitals around the country are competing for newly-insured patients, and one way to increase patient satisfaction, they figure, might be to reduce the frustratingly long wait times in the ER. To that end, Northridge and its parent company Dignity Health started offering online appointments last summer; since then, more than 22,000 patients have reserved spots at emergency rooms in California, Arizona and Nevada.

Why stop here? Why not just rebuild the entire medical establishment from the emergency room out? One big door with the word "DOCTOR PLACE" above it, where anyone can walk in and be told quickly that it's either too early or too [...]


Walking Better For You Than Running, And You Also Don't Need That Running Costume

"Brisk walking reduces the risk of heart disease more effectively than running when the energy expenditure of both activities is balanced out, a study has found. Running reduced the risk of heart disease by 4.5% while walking reduced it by 9.3%. Calorie for calorie, walking also had a stronger impact on heart disease risk factors. The risk of first-time high blood pressure was reduced by 4.2% by running and 7.2% by walking." —Taking a nice, brisk walk is better for you than running! It even reduces your high cholesterol more than running. Best of all, you don't have to run around sweating and huffing like an idiot, wearing those [...]


"Traditional Southern Diet" Will Put You In Traditional Southern Grave

Fried chicken, ham, bacon, "sweet tea" and huge store-bought cakes are the five major food groups of the Southern United States, and there are apparently some health consequences to eating nothing but fat, lard, corn syrup and factory slaughtered antibiotic-filled pigs and chickens.

People who ate Southern food six times a week had a 41% higher risk of stroke, compared with people who ate such food once a month. And, the study found, a traditional Southern diet accounted for 63% of the higher risk of stroke among African Americans, compared with white Americans.

The study followed 20,000 white and black Americans who enjoy the "traditional Southern diet" of "fried [...]


Ladies Finally Can Die Just Like Men From Cigarettes (And Fighting Wars)

It seems like only yesterday that America's women were finally allowed to be killed in front-line combat. But it was a hollow victory, as so many victories are, because after losing something like nine consecutive wars, America now fights its foreign battles using genderless drone airships that will never cry or come home unemployable.

But ladies can still die "like a man" without even being sent to Camp Victory:

U.S. women who smoke today have a much greater risk of dying from lung cancer than they did decades ago, partly because they are starting younger and smoking more—that is, they are lighting up like men, new research shows. [...]


Will This Flu Epidemic Kill You? Maybe, But You Could Also Get A Flu Shot! many years of quiet flu seasons, the current winter epidemic is shaping up to be something pretty terrible. Boston is officially an emergency zone, with more than 700 reported cases and 18 deaths so far. The South is already racking up flu deaths, with 22 deaths in South Carolina alone. Thousands have been hospitalized nationwide, and the flu is jumping to other patients.

What can you do? Go get a flu shot! Even if you "don't care about getting the flu," because you're unemployed or insane or look forward to a real-life version of The Stand, please get a flu shot so that you're not infecting [...]


Be Sure To Sit At Your Computer Watching The Live Stream For "Inactivity In America"

We can all agree that outside of America's two cities where it's plausible to live without a car, the people of the United States could do with a little physical activity now and then. Americans used to climb stairs and roll pickle barrels and wrassle the neighbors and tar the roof and dig the potatoes and all other kinds of labor that kept the heart healthy and the buttocks muscular, but now something-something cars computers video games taco bars, and just look at us. That's why some officials decided to have a seminar in Washington about the crisis of inactivity. Can't make it? Oh that's all right, you can [...]


Your Gut Will Save Your Life

"Dieters desperate to get rid of that spare tyre can finally let it all hang out. That muffin-top could actually help to regulate the immune system and provide a first line of defence against infection and viruses. A hard-to-shift beer belly could even help regenerate damaged tissue after an injury."


Just Lie to Yourself: Science

[Scientists] found similar differences among another group of campers, who were instructed to to listen to music as they walked. The guide told them to focus on the music, asking them, for instance, where they heard the music more clearly.Wansink documented that the music-focused walkers consumed far fewer M&M's offered up as a snack after the stroll, compared to participants who had just focused on the exercise of walking.

Some other possible life tips based on this research: While at work, drink—your shift will feel like a party, and you won't need to go out afterward. Instead of "doing chores" around the house, tell your friends, and yourself, that [...]


U.S. Women Quickly Dropping Dead In Southern & Rural Counties; Is God To Blame?

After many decades of winning the war on death, American women are now losing their lifespan gains over men. Especially in the Deep South and in rural counties, American women in their early 70s are now dropping off at a terrifying rate—70 should be long enough for anyone, but a girl child born today has an expected lifespan of 81 years, while boy children born today have the male disadvantage of a 76-year lifespan.

The question is why women are losing this advantage, if living longer can even be considered an advantage, especially in the Deep South or America's Heartland or the rural Western states.

According to Fox [...]


No Point In Having Sex

"In fact, having sex burns calories at about the same rate as walking at a pace of 2.5 mph. 'Given that the average bout of sexual activity lasts about 6 minutes,' the authors write, a man in his early to mid-30s might burn 21 calories. But wait, it gets worse: Considering that this man could burn 7 calories just watching TV, the true benefit of having sex is only 14 additional calories burned." —Many common beliefs about dieting and exercise, such as the one about how sexual intercourse burns 300 calories, are not at all true. So go ahead and take the night off.


Try Not To Catch Face Cancer From An Endangered Tasmanian Devil!

"Biologists first encountered the cancer in the late 1990s. The tumors grew on the devils’ faces or inside their mouths, and within six months the animals were dead. The first cases appeared in eastern Tasmania, and with each passing year the cancer’s range expanded westward. When scientists examined the cells in the tumors, they got a baffling surprise. The DNA from each tumor did not match the Tasmanian devil on which it grew. Instead, it matched the tumors on other devils. That meant that the cancer was contagious, spreading from one animal to another." —Nature, in all its weird and terrifying glory, is killing off the already endangered Tasmanian [...]


Are Women The New Problem Drinkers, Because They Are Lady Binge-Drinkers?

Another glass ceiling has been shattered by women, as "binge drinking" is no longer just something most men do all the time. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, one-in-four college ladies and one-in-eight of all gals over 18 are dangerous binge drinkers, consuming up to … four alcoholic beverages per "binge." Four drinks is binge drinking, now?

These wild drunkards are going crazy with the four drinks up to … three times a month, according to the CDC. Well good gracious, that's almost having drinks on a single night of every weekend, as long as you don't drink at all on the fourth weekend. Further research may [...]


Perhaps You Would Like To Listen To "The Stand" During Your 47-Hour Run?

"While it’s true that a Stephen King book can make hearts race, churning through The Shining generally doesn’t qualify as a cardiovascular workout. Not in print, anyway. So what about listening to an audiobook version of the horror classic during a run?"


House Committee on Energy and Commerce, Winning Evangelical Hearts and Minds

Score another one for the House Committee on Energy and Commerce, those experts in womens' health and nonprofit budgets, whose "investigation" into Planned Parenthood is serving as a useful tool to get foundations (in this case, the Susan G. Komen foundation, executive-staffed by right-wingers) to stop funding breast exams at Planned Parenthood. (Now they'll go back to fighting Obamacare for a while.) Neato, everyone loses.


I Just Got Health Insurance, Should I Get An MRI Or Something?

Somehow Still-Alive Guy is not a doctor, and he does not provide medical advice. But he has seen all the doctors! And is currently still alive, and here to answer questions from you. Remember, there are no stupid medical questions—only answers that can get you killed.

Dear Somehow Still-Alive Guy,

I'm 34 and I just got health insurance for the first time since being on my parents' plan after college. I never go to the doctor. I actually don't even have a doctor. But all kinds of things could be wrong with me. I feel pretty normal but I started noticing some stuff. I think I might be depressed. [...]


Steak Okay This Week

Is it okay to eat steak again? Sure, why the hell not. And if you need help…


Why Aren't You Using These Hot New Apps To Keep Track Of Your Impending Death?

Everybody loves apps, experts say—you can tell because there is an app for everything, including the monitoring of your personal health. The problem is that once you're thinking about monitoring your personal health, you're well on the way to the grave. This depressing fact may be the reason why few Americans use such phone and tablet programs to keep track of what's all too evident from the creaking, coughing, groaning and "weird discharge" most people notice just fine without the danged smart phone beeping and whirring, from wherever it's hiding.

Nearly seven in 10 U.S. adults say they are tracking weight, diet, exercise routines or some medical [...]


Will "Energy Drinks" Finally Kill Off Most Americans?

"A new government survey suggests the number of people seeking emergency treatment after consuming energy drinks has doubled nationwide during the past four years, the same period in which the supercharged drink industry has surged in popularity in convenience stores, bars and on college campuses. From 2007 to 2011, the government estimates the number of emergency room visits involving the neon-labeled beverages shot up from about 10,000 to more than 20,000." —Those corn-syrup/caffeine "sports drinks" are not just making you obese.


Will Living In A "Healthy City" Somehow Make You Healthy?

According to the latest scientific proof in the form of a magazine list feature, San Francisco is the nation's healthiest city. Women's Health surveyed a hundred American cities and ranked them according to life expectancy, obesity, access to health care, incidence of cancer, nutrition, and probably how much money everybody has. How did a wealthy and beautiful city with its own universal health care plan and a population of attractive people who walk everywhere end up at the top of the list? (SELF magazine put out a similar list last month, with San Jose at No. 1 and San Francisco in third place.)

Also, why did [...]


Is It Okay To Eat Nothing But Crispy Saturated-Fat-Filled Turkey Skin Tomorrow?

"Tofurkey is offensive, linguistically and culturally. If you want to eat turkey, eat turkey. Tofu doesn't look or taste or smell like turkey at all. If you make tofu, own it and treat it like tofu and call it tofu." —Dr. James Hamblin, the Atlantic's health editor, answers all your Thanksgiving health questions about turkey skin, calories and taking a bowl of gravy and a pack of cigarettes to your childhood bedroom.