Every time I am silent or seemingly thinking or chewing or barely breathing and unoccupied what I’m really doing is praying fervently that our country devotes itself to dendrolatry and muck our polished patellae in a worshipper’s kneel unto Trees. And where does the Holiday Axe factor into this religion? I’ve always felt like Woolf’s Septimus, felt that they “beckoned; leaves were alive; trees were alive. And the leaves being connected by millions of fibres with [my] own body….” So this morning as the vile Vargoshe family hauled the cut carcass of a 12-ton Norway spruce like a bloodied buck on the roof of [...]
"If you watched any basketball this season, you might have noticed a new hairstyle gaining popularity. Well, it’s kind of an old hairstyle, actually: The hi-top fade. It was the ‘do to have back in the '80s, and now it's cropping up on the likes of Iman Shumpert of the New York Knicks, Norris Cole of the Miami Heat and celebrities like Usher."
Website proprietor Andrew Sullivan continues to have trouble with New York's service industries. He trusted Yelp with barber shop recommendations, and then the barber (allegedly) broke his iPad and trimmed his beard incorrectly!
My starter was a Yelp-recommended, first come, first served joint. I put my name down and was told to come back in 30 minutes. Ok. Back 25 minutes later, I was told it could be done in ten minutes. A further half hour of Angry birds later, I asked when I could get my beard trimmed. 20 minutes. Half an hour later, when they started hedging again when I asked, I left. New York City: wait [...]
Let's examine the centerpiece of Rent, the Up With People On The Fringe-esque routine that closes the first act: "La Vie Boheme" is a tribal chant heralding any and all things counterculture. It's "We Didn't Start the Fire" from the perspective of East Village artists. It's a list of everything that you need to know to be hip. There is a song by King Missile called "It's Saturday" that opens with the line, "I want to be different, just like everyone else I want to be like." This sentiment is the heart of "La Vie Boheme." The number embodies an unembarrassed need for self-expression and a yearning for [...]
"I don't want no baldheaded woman, it'll make me mean, yeah Lord, it would make me mean." The great American songwriter Shel Talmy penned these words, among many others, for the Who and the Kinks, and I've been thinking about them a lot recently. Well, what if she should looked like this? Then would you validate her existence by banging her?
"New York women are embracing Abedin’s hair, even if the controversy that made it famous makes them cringe."
As soon as I noticed I was going bald, I took the only sensible action and shaved my head. How could I not? Growing up, I grimaced at the sight of my father’s ill-advised comb over. I swore I would not make the same mistake. I love the man dearly, but I'm scarred by the image of his few scraggly hairs flopping in the wind like a dying fish. I always wondered who my dad thought he was fooling. It’s not as if anyone would look at him and think he had a full head of hair. Eventually he let go and got a buzz cut—only because of an insistent [...]
What makes hair curly? The answer is here, but let me warn you: it's boring. Oh my God, it's SO BORING. I wanted something involving wizards or whatever.
Did you have lunch yet? "The thought may be an appetite killer, but human hair can be used to make an additive that is found in foods such as the dough for pizza crusts and bagels."
Today's wacky A1 story in the Wall Street Journal is about how, in these trying economic times, people are cutting their own hair, often with comical results! I'm not sure if this is a bona fide trend or just the peg for a funny frontpiece, but it puts me in mind of something I was thinking about this weekend: If we really are entering a new Era of Frugality, where we're not spending everything we make and then some on gadgets and personal grooming supplies, are we headed into an environment where we start to resemble the denizens of that last historical era of malaise, the 70s? I [...]
I could make you one of these in half an hour tops and still have enough left over for a matching set of mittens.
Over the last year or two I began to develop what I initially thought was a severe case of dandruff in the area around my temples. The duration of this crisis was blessedly brief, because it turned out what I was seeing was actually the first foray into my sideheads by a colonizing force of gray hairs. (Technically it would be more accurate to describe them as silver, but given historical precedent it seems unlikely that anything on my body would somehow retain any kind of elegance or class, so I expect them to lose what little luster they have imminently.) My vanity is of the variety that so [...]
Do you want to "get the look" sported atop Bob Costas' head? Esquire will tell you how to get that hair. HOW/WHY? I cannot imagine. His hair is terrible! It seems… perhaps unreal! "Monochromatic and/or synthetic," says the Chicago Tribune. I disbelieve his hair!
On the other side of his head, however, you could totally get that Bob Costas face-look—but it'll cost you a pretty penny.
Investigators are still trying to figure out exactly what happened to trigger the natural-gas explosion last month that led to a massive — and still-going — oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. So far the finger is being pointed at a series of events that included a decision to prematurely remove some heavy drilling lubricants from a pipeline, a directive that came down from the well owner, BP. (The "we love the environment" full-page ads that will result from this debacle should be a doozy, huh.) In the meantime, do you or your pet have extra hair? Do you feel like it should go to a cause [...]