Posts Tagged: Gross Things
10

I Deleted Secret

Be the change you want to something in the something, right? Last night, a friend deleted Secret, the new app for… sharing secrets and I realized: oh, I could do that as well! These apps do not own me! (Yet.)

It's a fascinating experiment, and I'm curious about where it will go. But. Opening Secret was like walking onto a trading floor where a pack of goons were desperately displaying the contents of their wallets and/or underwear. It was like carrying a portal to a heinous world of male status anxiety. So much equity terror, so many tepid sexual fantasies unfulfilled. In the future, if I need someone [...]

10

Four Loko Still Pouring into New York City

Crazy upper-downer beverage Four Loko was banned in New York City and elsewhere, so then its makers removed caffeine from their delicious secret recipe—and now, thanks to the controversy, it's become a very popular beverage! As proof, we offer this weekend's delivery receipt from a little Carroll Gardens deli. Congratulations, lawmakers and scandal sheets: you made a terrible, sugary, very large, alcohol-full malt beverage an extremely popular endrunkening beverage of choice.

4

The Complete Tinder Glossary

As a rule, I don’t download time-sucking games onto my phone. Tinder is the exception. Back in May, when I first made space on my screen for that little red flame icon, I didn’t realize the latest online dating app craze was a game. But now I know. Last night my roommate, who met his boyfriend on Tinder, perched beside me for some vicarious swiping. “I miss this!” he said, as we watched the weirdos fly by.

That’s right: they’ve finally made an online dating service that is fun—nay, addictive—to use.

Like Zuckerberg’s original, verboten pleasure, FaceSmash, which asked Harvard douchebags to choose the hotter classmate between two [...]

101

How to Eat at Chipotle

When you walk into Chipotle, don’t look ashamed or frightened. You’re eating some righteous food, so own up to it. Stride purposely to the first stop at the Chipotle station and in a commanding voice say: “I’ll have a burrito with black beans and steak.”

Other appropriate orders: barbacoa and steak mix or just barbacoa. To paraphrase Anthony Bourdain for a second (who wouldn’t be caught dead in Chipotle), chicken is for people who don’t know what they want.

Also, if you decide to order a burrito bowl, or God forbid, the tacos, then you need to reevaluate where you’re getting your meal. This isn’t some namby-pamby Taco [...]

7

"The Real Tooth Fairy" Fiasco: Sexism For Tweens Actually Isn't Paying Off For Once

"The Real Tooth Fairy" scheme is one of the great branding bombs of all time, with negligible web traffic to their site and all of 856 Twitter followers. Now the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood has found the outfit's original investor pitch video, and it is a delightful hodgepodge of low production values, virulent sexism and childhood "goodness" brainwashing. SUPER GROSS. And it's hosted by the CEO of Fandango! Oh gosh it's bad. The Campaign is on high alert—"Until now, the Tooth Fairy was one of the few iconic children's fantasy figures that escaped being captured, branded, and monetized"—but we think the kids are safe. This [...]