God's Not In Right Now, But If You'd Like To Leave A Message… @1:10 PM
Vexed French bishops are expressing their displeasure against a confessional service "set up at the beginning of the Christian fasting period of Lent by Paris-based telephone messaging service AABAS" for the benefit of penitents who are too busy to get themselves to a church. The Daily Mail reports that the clerics reject Phoneline to the Lord as "utterly unacceptable," noting the sacramental value of parishioner-to-priest contact. The phoneline "charges users 30p a minute to confess their sins to an automated answering machine," which sounds to me about as good a description of God as you're likely to get.
UPDATE: Awl pal Juli Weiner did some real reporting and actually spoke to French answering machine God. You can hear it here! 15
Even God Not Interested In A "Joe The Plumber" Candidacy @1:38 PM
Samuel "Joe The Plumber" Wurzelbacher has decided not to run for public office after a personal conversation with God in which the Heavenly Father suggested Wurzelbacher might better follow his calling by remaining at the grassroots level, "preferably way, way in the back." The seven minute conversation was repeatedly peppered with awkward pauses as God unsuccessfully attempted to choke back laughter; at one point the deity snorted so loudly that it registered as a minor earthquake in southern California. 14
Social A's: Should An Athiest Tell Family She Prays? @11:05 AM
Dear Answer Lady (Emily),
I'm an atheist, but many of my relatives are very religious. This doesn't come up very often—for one, I don't see my relatives that much—but when they send me cards they often make reference to God, prayers, blessings, etc. My cards say things like "Happy Birthday" and "Congratulations." However, I recently sent a get well soon card to my aunt who has a chronic illness. I know she takes comfort knowing that people are praying for her, but I can't in good conscience claim to be praying for her—even though I'm thinking about her and hoping for an improvement in her health. From their perspective, I think this sounds somewhat flimsy. READ MORE 30
