I'm just going to go ahead and tell you up front that I wept during last night's season finale of "Glee." Images appeared on my television screen, my eye perceived them and certain parts of my brain were stimulated, thus causing my tear ducts to activate, OKAY? So, if you need to read a well-thought out and mature critique by someone who didn't cry like a dumb stupid baby at multiple points during this show last night, well, this is not a thing for you to read. READ MORE

Remember last week when Kurt's dad kicked Finn out of his house, and Rachel found her biological mother only to lose her again? Well, this week's episode resolves these tragic dilemmas when-oh, I'm kidding. They dropped those storylines like the hottest potato. But there's no time for such concerns now. To the auditorium! READ MORE

This was the first episode in which I felt the darkness of real life butted up against the cartoon land of "Glee," and, honestly, I don't know how the show is going to hold up. Well, okay. Before I get into that eternal sadness, let's talk about the adorable plot line of Tina the Goth vs. Principal "Actually Believes in Vampires" Figgins. After a band of Hot Fat Teen Vampires, aka Glee Spin Off Show #407, takes down a hapless nerd in the hallway, Figgins cracks down on all Goths school-wide. (I'm really hoping those vamps actually did rip open that dweeb's throat out and gorged themselves on his blood. All I'm saying is, I buy the DVDs for the extras!) Schue intervenes in the heated argument between Figgins and Tina's fabulous tiny top hat, reminding the principal that he once idealized Elvis so much that he started dressing like him. "But he was a Christian!" Figgins protests, "And he didn't have the ability to transform into a bat!" Like manna from Heaven, these spin-off ideas spill unceasingly from Figgins' mouth. Anyway, Tina thereby is forced to attend school bare-faced and be-sweatshirted with hair of a normal color. "I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian!" she laments. A Waco reference 17 years after the fact? O my! Tina must have heard about that when her mother put the radio too close to her WOMB. READ MORE

Due to Ramin Setoodeh's uber-dumb Newsweek article from a few weeks ago, "My Head Is Filled With Diarrhea, and Other Musings," in which he questions gay actors' ability to play straight characters (which apparently is a real thing that adult humans besides the author actually think?), I'm sure more people than usual were scrutinizing Neil Patrick Harris as he guest-starred as a straight man in this week's episode of "Glee." Who wasn't busy analyzing his wrist-limpness or lip-gloss application count or unconscious eye rolls of disgust at naked ladies' bodies, or however else we are judging perceived gayness in FICTIONAL CHARACTERS these days? However, if my PANTS have anything to say about it, I'd say NPH nailed his Glee debut. His Bryan Ryan is the exact mix of camp and swagger that spells Glee perfection, a female Sue Sylvester served up for our delectation. And like Sue, Bryan took great pleasure in ripping apart the club for which Will Schuester had sacrificed so much (his marriage! His Spanish classes! That complementary [OKAY, COMPLIMENTARY!] mattress he slept on that one time!) to build. READ MORE

I took a short break this week from yowling and clawing at my eye sockets at how depraved and grotesque "Glee" has become to actually...sort of...enjoy it. But not that much! And just part of it! That part being where cheerleading coach/erstwhile demonic force Sue Sylvester became the cuddly stuffed ostrich we all secretly known she is inside, and snuggled up to her sister Jean to escape the cruel jibs of her laughing coworkers after a video of her Jazzercising to Olivia Newton-John's "Physical" shows up online. READ MORE

Halle Kiefer is watching a television show called Glee, which is set in a magical American high school in Ohio, and trying to make sense of it week by week. Last episode, the infamous all-Madonna episode thrilled and disappointed in near-equal portions. Last night, though she ran into both hilarity and then.... a wee spot of trouble with bulimia and the jokes about bulimia. Definitely there are spoilers. READ MORE