Posts tagged as Fuck You
50 Cent Wants In On Cee-Lo's Action, Will Take His Gold Digger
"Ironically, this week the Pajamas Media site ran a piece reporting that Egyptian Islamic scholar and self-proclaimed jihadist Abd al-Muti Bayum has condemned the 'Ground Zero mosque' as a devious 'Zionist conspiracy' to discredit Islam by linking it to the September 11 attacks. This was cited as an argument against the Cordoba Center. This is strange logic: the center shouldn't be built because radical Islamists will like it.... or because they will hate it." That's Reason's Cathy Young, whose colleague Radley Balko gave us such a good angle on the "NYC Terror Mosque" controversy last week. READ MORE
Cee-Lo, "Forget You" (Spoiler: Not As Good As "F**k You")
If you'd like to hear the radio-friendly version of Cee-Lo's "Forget You," which is the version of "Fuck You" that the world is allowed to hear on the airwaves, go to Trevor Green's BBC show and fast-forward to minute 52. It really kind of doesn't work. Radio! You have to wonder why it exists sometimes.
How To Cook A Fucking Steak
Go to the goddamn grocery and get steak. Yes, the grocery. A little ammonia is not going to kill you, you pussy. You want to be all fancy and grass-fed and environmentally conscious, go ahead, I don't give a shit, just get a fucking steak. Ribeye is good. And, yes, bone-in. Schmuck. Take the steak home. Get a bigass frying pan and put the shit on the stove, cranking the heat up as far as that fucker will go. Take a shitload of salt-rocksalt, you dumb motherfucker, none of that fine-grained crap here—and toss it around the bottom of the pan. When the pan is hot as all fuck—it should scorch the shit out of your finger if you're stupid enough to touch it—put the fucking steak on there. You can crack some pepper on the top of the steak as the bottom is searing, but don't even talk to me about garlic or onion powder or COMPOUND FUCKING BUTTER, asshole. This is steak, all you fucking need is salt and pepper. After a bit (3 minutes for pink, 5 for cooked good), flip that shit over and do the same fucking thing you just did with the other side, i.e. sit on your ass and wait for your motherfucking steak to be ready, you useless assbag. When you're done, sling that shit on a plate. Beringer's 1996 Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley Private Reserve makes an absolutely delightful accompaniment, particularly if you've taken care to let it breathe a bit before quaffing. Also, make some fucking potatoes, because that's what you eat with a fucking steak. God, sometimes I just want to smack the shit out of you.
Funemployment: Say Hi To Jobless People Who Are Better Than You
"Funemployment" was a mildly irritating coinage back about 8 months ago when people started losing their jobs in earnest; now it's a subject for wacky trend pieces by network news organizations who, staring at the terrible jobless numbers, are starting to freak out and look for any kind of "bright side" report they can deliver to help forestall a revolution against capitalism. Anyway, did you know that, unlike those of us whose panic over lost wages and limited opportunities has resulted in growing alcoholism, strained relationships, and physical manifestations of serious stress including but not limited to acne eruptions, hypertension, deep depression, and ulcers, there are some people who are using their "time off" to surf or just hang out with their friends? It's true! Meet the Funemployed: Their carefree attitudes and healthy ways of handling the unfortunate situation of being made redundant should totally cheer us all!
