Posts Tagged: friendship
12

Ask Polly: I'm In Love But My Best Friend Is Slipping Away!

Appearing here Wednesdays, Turning The Screw provides existential crisis counseling for the faint of heart. "There's nothing out there but cold space."

Dear Polly,

I'm a straight 20-year-old woman. I was in love with my best friend, Ben, for three-and-a-half years, since the end of my senior year of high school. Ben is gay, so that was problematic, but even when it was at its worst, I was self-aware enough about the whole thing to understand that it wasn't healthy for me, and it wasn't sustainable.

Anyway, about 6 weeks ago, I started dating someone. I'm really excited about Noah, to put it lightly. He's my first [...]

14

Ask Polly: Should I Bring A Baby Into This Messed-Up World?

Appearing here Wednesdays, Turning The Screw provides existential crisis counseling for the faint of heart. "Sit down and wipe off your face!"

Hi Polly.

Alas, the sticky question is whether or not to enlarge our (human) household. My wife and I are both scientists and thus pessimistic by nature, which seems antithetical to the whole process of having and raising a child. In spite of that and after a great deal of talking and thinking, we decided to give it a try. Attempts were initially successful, but then took a tragic turn. And now, months later, after things have returned to "normal," the decision is once again looming, [...]

13

Hiking The Grand Canyon In A Day

Signs posted at the rim of the Grand Canyon warn you not to attempt to hike to the river and back in one day: it's too strenuous, and you need to be prepared with food and a gallon of water per person. Apparently, there are several deaths (especially in the summer months) and 250 rescues made each year, so the National Park Service is serious about this. Typical warnings exhort: "DO NOT attempt to hike from the rim to the river and back in one day, especially May to September."

I arrived at the Grand Canyon in late March. It was Spring Break, 1990.

39

Look Back in Eyeliner: Three Girls at a Duran Duran Sleepover in 1984

Today is Nick Rhodes' 50th birthday. He's the youngest member of Duran Duran, so they, the pretty mascara-ed wild-boy new romantics, are all safely embarked on their 50s now. They remain pretty (and I'm not just being polite, they do), and Nick hasn't stopped wearing mascara and I hope he's pleased every day with all the new de-clumping formulas available, but still, it gives you vertigo. Do the jumpsuits still fit? Does John Taylor ever avoid invitations to go out so he can stay home and watch Veronica Mars? Does Simon LeBon say to friends at dinner, "Lately if I drink more than two glasses of red wine, I [...]

16

Das Racist And Other Friends I Never Made In College

Since I'm a graduate student and drunkenness on a Thursday night is practically required, last Thursday I was terrifically far from sober and, as a direct result, read an article about Das Racist. I read this article because whenever Das Racist pops up on my radar, I read about them, like I read about MGMT even though I've only ever listened to MGMT once, and that was their song “Kids,” and, when I listened to it, it was about two years after “Kids” was a hit. I try to avoid dwelling on Das Racist, but, like I said, last Thursday I was drunk. Even when I'm not drunk, [...]

19

On Advice To Kids

When my friends started having children, as much as I thought about what role I'd play in their kids' lives, it was as the sort of friend of the family who, when you're teetering through teenagerdom and your early 20s, takes you out to lunch or dinner (often arriving, fortuitously, when you're most off course and down-at-heel), gives you Rilke and Asimov and the Brontes at the junctures when they can do their most good, takes your ambitions seriously, lets you be yourself while providing some calibrating sense of what the world at large will eventually expect from your conversation, etc. I had a couple such 'aunts' myself, my mom's [...]

2

Roughing It On An Indie Theater Tour

The conclusion of a month-long series on terrible trips, great journeys and getting lost.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. It was 1996, and I was still imagining myself to be some sort of actor. I had acted in a play written by a charismatic young playwright and directed by my best friend and roommate the summer previous, a four-hander, as they say. The playwright, also the star of the piece, decided that he was going to take the show on the road. For three weeks. And, on top of that, one of the roles would be recast with my girlfriend at the time, "Erin." [...]

8

The Writer With The Pink Velvet Pants

Part of a two-week series on the pull of bad influences in our lives and in the culture.

I don’t remember all that much about my first year at university except that it was the year we converted from pounds, shillings and pence to "decimal currency." I shared ground-floor rooms, overlooking the Third Quad in college, with a bearded, bear-like chap I called (for reasons which need not detain us) Eighty Two. He was impossibly good: for all practical purposes a saint. His father ran a school for the blind. He had just spent part of his gap year (though the term wasn’t in use back then) in a 12th-century [...]

17

Paying Back Your Friends: A Conversation

This series is brought to you by TurboTax Federal Free Edition. Mike: So, Logan, I heard that after we left the bar last night, I went home to go to bed, and you went back to your neighborhood in Brooklyn and got more drinks?

Logan: Well, that is almost true. I went back to our friend Adam's neighborhood and got one more drink, and also some macaroni and cheese, yes. That happened.

Mike: Oh.

Logan: I'm guessing that you're interested in this fact because you think there are other things I could have spent that $26 on! ($6 for the drink, $10 for the mac and cheese, and [...]

31

Dear Jen

Dear Jen,

I'm sorry for telling you that your allergies were psychosomatic.

21

Ask Polly: Why Do Guys Dump Me Like a Hot Potato?

Appearing here Wednesdays, Turning The Screw provides existential crisis counseling for the faint of heart. "Snausages for your mopey inner mongrel!"

Dear Polly,

I am writing to you with what I believe to be the number 1 question on every twenty-something's mind: Will I ever find love? Let me detail this.

I am in my early twenties and my longest relationship lasted 8 months, and the guy was two-timing me for the last month or two of it (I was 19; he was 31). I've only been in one relationship that I genuinely believed would last, and even culminate in marriage, and that one only lasted four months. [...]

3

The 2006 World Cup With No Game Plan

Part of a month-long series on terrible trips, great journeys and getting lost.

When we were planning a trip to the 2006 World Cup—and, as you'll see, I use "planned" in the loosest sense of the word—I did not picture a friend and me sleeping in a ball pit at the base of a slide in a kid's play area on an overnight ferry steaming from northern Germany to southern Sweden. There were four, sometimes five, of us on the trip. We were a year out of college and more or less broke, so we decided to save money by not paying to sleep anywhere. I expected some strange [...]

14

Bad News Brenda

The first in a two-week series on the pull of bad influences in our lives and in the culture.

Brenda looked great in a bikini. She looked great in everyone’s bikini. She looked like an adult in a bikini, which is to say that she looked like one of those models we call beautiful because they have the face of an adult and the body of a 15 year old.

Brenda was equally great on four-wheelers and horses, and when she got her license, just months after turning 15 (Idaho doesn’t care about your national traffic safety), she’d already mastered the stubborn clutch on one of her [...]

8

When Your Friend Is Also Your Boss: A Cautionary Tale

This series is brought to you by TurboTax Federal Free Edition.

Mike Dang: Logan, do you remember when I was your boss? Good times, huh?

Logan Sachon: Well, Mike, I do remember it, but apparently not the way you do, because I thought it was a terrible time.

Mike: Yes, well, becoming your boss was sort of an accident. We both started out as contributors to the website where we worked, and you sent me this really cute email saying you liked my writing, and I replied that I really liked your style too, and then we IM'd everyday forever. Yay! Best friends! And then I got [...]