Posts Tagged: For Real?
1

Dozens of Cops and Firefighters Volunteer For Firing

The second period of the NYPD v. NYFD charity hockey game went south over the weekend. It's a good point: "This was the touching scene as they demonstrated to the Make-A-Wish kids in attendance that they should never stop fighting." It's hard to believe this is the same police force that keeps assaulting women while on duty!

17

Chocolate Chip: Aren't You Tired of Being the White Man's Bitch?

Perhaps Ieshuh Griffin didn't know any better when she attempted to use "NOT the whiteman's bitch" to describe herself on the ballot in Wisconsin. She was called to task by, uh duh, six old white men, retired judges who serve on Wisconsin's Accountability Board in charge of regulating elections. Three of them said (in so many words), "We don't want you to be our bitch anyway, ho" and two of them said, "Not so fast, Beloved." Griffin needed four of the former in order to get the language on the ballot so she could become a state assemblymember. As one of the judges was absent, her name will appear [...]

97

Why Bros Get Iced, Bro

From time to time, we offer free editorial space to common folk with something to say. This is one such time, in which a fratty bro of our acquaintance explains what exactly is going on with bros. Spoiler: It's not good!

You may have heard about this new thing the kids–white males in their 20s, mostly–are doing? DRINKING SMIRNOFF ICE, AGAINST THEIR WILL, AT RIDICULOUSLY INOPPORTUNE TIMES. Seriously.

21

Tao of Dow: Awesome Taiwanese Boy Out-Whitneys Whitney; Man-Sized Lizard Has Two Penises

The Awl's Morning Market Report:

• The Dow Jones Industrial Average dipped this morning after yesterday's essentially flat close (at 10970, down 3.5 points for the day), as investors grew increasingly spooked by this AWESOME Taiwanese kid who can out-Whitney Whitney Houston – in her current state, at least. (Just Jared IDs the boy as Lin Yu Chun, and the show he sang on is Taiwan's "American Idol"-esque "Super Star Avenue.") Sure, the kid can belt it out, but is being the next Whitney Houston really a good [...]

81

Flicked Off: 'Alice in Wonderland' and Some Patriarchal Norms and Stuff

Now I'm not a huge Tim Burton stan, but I thought that Alice In Wonderland was pretty good! The strengths were exactly what you would probably think them to be: visually it was very nice to look at-the landscape design was done by Robert Stromberg, the same guy who did Avatar's. The characters were all very charming and amiable with all of their British accents (and what not!), especially the lead girl Mia Wasikowska who was very crushable by the end. And while the plot/story seemed simple, I was okay with that because it's supposed to be palatable for children, but also because it was really positive and [...]

23

And Then The Luxury Market Stopped Making Sense

Kanye knows that this insane thing actually happened. ALSO in skis. (On the other hand? The Chanel city bike? Yes please.)

4

Some Podcasts That May Amuse

Podcasts you may find amusing should you like that kind of thing.

32

'Leave Snooki Alone' Movement Starts, Dies

"Much like Lynn Hirschberg's brutal May profile of M.I.A., Horyn's [profile of reality TV star Snooki] neatly encapsulates everything most despicable about the Times and its cultural coverage — its snotty, keep 'em at arm's length, can you believe these people? attitude, the way you can practically feel the reporter holding her nose while she writes." -Um. People are actually somehow boarding the Leave Snooki Alloooone!11!!! bandwagon. I think they'll be disappointed when they discover where it lets them off.

34

Labour MP Gets the Knife on the Way Out

Stephen Timms, the Labour MP who was Financial Secretary to the Treasury until Knifecrime Island disbanded its government last week, had the poor idea of actually meeting with his constituents regularly. You know who his constituents are? They are knives. And the knives want what the knives want, and now he is in the Main Hospital for Having Been Stabbed, which is extremely overburdened, as you can imagine.

19

Plant Actually Toilet

"Apparently scientists now think that a pitcher plant they had assumed was so large that it ate shrews is actually a shrew toilet. And just to illustrate that point further, here is a shrew taking a dump in one. UGH! Look at his little guilty, smiling face. Have some decency, you shrew!"

4

AIG's Investors Unhappy With–Ha, AIG Has "Investors"!

Idiot AIG, who-do I really need to do a descriptor here? I mean, you already know that they insured everything and everyone and then unsurprisingly got hosed on every deal-"lost $8.87 billion in the fourth quarter." According to the AP, "Investors weren't happy with AIG's news, and bid its stock down nearly 13 percent in"-I'm sorry, their what now? Someone still buys AIG stock besides AIG?

8

There Are A Thousand Barry Dillers Watching You From Inside Your Computer

I know there are tracking bugs running on my computer because wherever I go on the Internet, I get identical ads. You probably do too! And you know why? Because you're the pig-trough at which Barry Diller's feeding, according to a review of secretly-installed web-tracking cookies that collect profiles for resale: "The top venue for such technology, the Journal found, was IAC/InterActive Corp.'s Dictionary.com. A visit to the online dictionary site resulted in 234 files or programs being downloaded onto the Journal's test computer, 223 of which were from companies that track Web users…. 'Whether it's one or 10 cookies, it doesn't have any impact on the customer experience, [...]

26

NPR: Swearing Is A Trait of East Coast Elitists

Recently, NPR aired the word "goddamned" again, this time in a quote from a Tom Cruise-in-character-as-Les Grossman appearance, and boy howdy is America upset about the taking of the Lord's name in vain. But don't worry, NPR's ombudsman (who is a woman! Which gives me pause that she should be opining on language usage!) is on the case. She writes: "I'm seeing the question through a different lens-one that is not based in the New York-Washington corridor, where this example of offensive language often goes in one ear and out the other." While it's surely true that in "real America" it is sometimes considered offensive to Christians to use [...]

2

There's Always More if You Reread Anne Sexton's Letters, Swear

"Anne was fairly good with criticism; in fact it is rumored she was the last person to take criticism well in this country. After reading the review, she wrote [James] Dickey a letter and befriended him. In short order he was eating out of her hand. She did this with most of her antagonists, the mark of every disturbed disposition." -Any excuse to reread the letters of Anne Sexton should be taken.

25

New York State Moron Politician Wants to Ban Salt in Restaurants

And now the brilliant New York State Assembly has a bill that would apparently, really, ban all salt usage in restaurants. No seriously, this is the description in full: "Prohibits the use of salt by restaurants in the preparation of food by restaurants." It is off to the Committee on Health, where they are going to laugh and laugh and roll around on the floor and laugh some more before deep-sixing it in some filing cabinet somewhere. WON'T SOMEONE LOBBY FOR THE SALT INDUSTRY? (via)

14

All You Need To Know About Best Actress Oscar Nominee Sandra Bullock

Sandy Bullock: AMERICA'S SWEETHEART, ROUND THREE.