I think I’d have gone mad.1 I’d probably be in prison or dead.2 I'd always look like someone out of Middle-earth.3

I’d be a lawyer.4 I’d be an event planner.5 I’d be a hypnotist, like Paul McKenna.6 I'd be a surgeon, like my dad.7

I would have been a journalist.8 I would have been a photographer.9

Manic Pixie Internet Fameball Tila Tequila has entered the online gossipsphere with the just-launched MissTilaOMG.com, which is apparently an attempt to simultaneously air her dirty laundry (sample line, from an item on how she used to date Jared Leto: "Jared if you're reading this, I know you're still an asshole but If you wanna fuck sometime, I'm totally still down. lol") and engage her No. 1 rival Perez Hilton in an online cage match where anyyone who looks in either of their directions automatically loses. In other celebrity-blog-launch news, Diddy has posted a teaser for his forthcoming personal Web site that makes me think he's reached [...]

• Tom Ford: "vanilla bean"

• Michelle Obama: "cherries"

• Cher: "a mermaid"

• Kevin Bacon: "a little mix of baby powder and Listerine"

• Rihanna: "coconut and vanilla"

• Gideon Yago: "that clean smell that really young children have, as if they've never been dirty"

Mike Bloomberg's "passion for flying and owning helicopters puts him in a rarefied circle, occupied by the likes of Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford and Gisele Bündchen." ——I personally don't find that particular circle terribly rarefied!