Posts tagged as England
Twitter is Making the Brits Disgustingly American
I thought British people were allergic to self-promotion or, indeed, any kind of reference to oneself that was not heavily caked in self-deprecation. Doesn't it make you break out in tea rash? Now look at you, instructing your Twitter followers to read your blogs, "check out" your articles, etc. This makes me suspect that Britain and all of its inhabitants have been swallowed up by an apocalyptic fire and replaced by an island of replicants who are planning world domination. Amirite or amirite? READ MORE
Immigrants Also Stealing Totally Unwanted Jobs in UK
"The Daily Mail advertised ten fictitious job vacancies in towns and cities across Britain.... A 25-hour-a-week cleaning job paying £10 an hour that was advertised in London attracted in excess of 225 applications. Of these, just 17 were from British workers." READ MORE
England Now Has More Prisoners Per Capita Than Australia
"The prison population of England and Wales has hit a new record high of 86,608 people," thanks to several hundred young rioters being held in the system. Yup: 86,000 people are in prison out of a population of 53,390,300. Yeah... so that's .0016% of England and Wales. (The U.S. has about 2,300,000 people in prison, out of 307,006,550 people—almost five times as many, by population.) READ MORE
England Forced to Notice Young, Poor, Angry People
And now we enter phase three of massive social unrest, in which the media wonders: who are "the looters" and why might they be "upset"? Literally: "The crowds involved in violence and looting are drawn from a complex mix of social and racial backgrounds." Oh I see. And: "Two girls who took part in Monday night's riots in Croydon have boasted that they were showing police and 'the rich' that 'we can do what we want.'" Why didn't anyone tell the media before that England was populated with a huge resentful underclass? WHY WAS THERE NOT A PRESS RELEASE ABOUT THIS?
Oh Noes, UK Chancellor Has to Cancel Vacation Too :(
Chancellor George Osborne, once he found out that PM David Cameron left Tuscany just a few days after North London was overtaken by riots, "immediately" left California to go back and watch London and Manchester burn. (And observe its Diesel stores get their windows broken.) When will anyone ever get a long foreign holiday??? Not as long as angry jobless yobbos exist. READ MORE
UK Prime Minister Cancels Tuscan Holiday :(
One thing you don't want to do probably is go a-thieving in a total surveillance society. The Metropolitan Police have set up a Flickr account with pretty pictures of a few people who have apparently gone robbing in North London at some point before or after these images were captured. It's the modern version of the "WANTED" poster, but en masse. Of course, some people have taken to Tumblr to do this vigilante style. In less dramatic imagery of the day, people have apparently taken to the streets with brooms to tidy up. Awww! And more to be found here. READ MORE
The End of English Society
The Ascot Gold Cup—the schmancy horserace in Berkshire, founded by Queen Anne, part of the summer season at the Ascot Racecourse—has long been on the circuit of fancy white inbred people in Knifecrime Island. And now? It is beset by louts and chavs! These must-see photographs of the disaster have the world's best captions: "Lowering the tone: A man wielding a £98 bottle of Laurent Perrier Rose Champagne gets involved as the fight breaks out between racegoers." This makes the Stanley Cup Vancouver riots this week look like a kiddy tea time!
Coppers Called on Lord Bath's Bountiful Babe Bustup
Did you miss the big news this weekend? "Police have been called to the Marquess of Bath’s Longleat estate in Wiltshire after one his 'wifelets' was allegedly injured during a late night fight with a rival." Mm hmm... READ MORE
Understanding England's "Gag Order" Scandal
Balk: So, and this will never happen but I want someone to match all the silhouettes in the Mail and Sun to the actual photos they are based on.
Choire: Whoa. "ONE of Britain's top bloggers caused chaos on Twitter yesterday after appearing to link more than a dozen celebrities to gagging orders."
Balk: But I wouldn't even know who to start with on that.
Choire: I don't even know how to find what blogger they're talking about!
Balk: It's Guido Fawkes.
Choire: Huh. Okay, but I'm confused....
Balk:
Annie Lennox, papers seem to have stopped covering her lately.
Guido Fawkes
GuidoFawkes
Choire: Oh no, not Annie! Well, hmm, this is like reading a foreign language.
Balk: Ha.
Choire: Literally this is impenetrable to me!
Balk: Really?
Choire: I never said I was bright. So wait. There's a gag order about what?
Balk: Oh. It's more about who HAS the gag orders out.
Choire: ... Regarding?
Balk: They are all privacy claims.
Choire: ...
Balk: "Slept with hooker," "had affair with," etc.
Choire: Annnnnd? Oh God, am I stupid? SOME DAY THE GUARDIAN WILL EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.
Balk: Basically, one or more papers was going to report on these stories, but before they could the celeb in question got a prior restraint.
Choire: Ohhh! So there were a number of stories, and then these people went to the courts... and everything died.
Balk: Right. So the papers all know who did what to who but can't name names.
Choire: Ah.
Balk: Which is unfortunate for the prostitutes who want to sell their stories to the tabs.
Choire: So much for Nick Denton's romanticization of the English newsroom!
Balk: I'm not sure how I feel about this take, but it does explain a lot.
Choire: Yow! What happened to the days when people just got to have hot sex with footballers and then go on with their lives?
Balk: I blame our "everyone's a celebrity" culture.
