Stupid Currency Markets Will Allow Chuckleheaded Canucks To Think They're Better Than Us @2:05 PM
I am horrified by economic estimates suggesting that Canada's currency—nicknamed "the loonie" after the nation's first Prime Minister, Don Cherry—will at some point this fall be worth more than our own American dollar. This is not simply a matter of jingoistic pride; let the peso soar above the greenback and I'll be down in Cozumel quicker than you can say "cheap hotel stay in Cozumel." No, this is about Canada somehow being able to feel a sense of superiority to its bigger, cooler brother just because it has a sensible financial system and socialized medicine and much less gun crime AND a more valuable dollar. This aggression cannot stand. I would rather live in a fascist dictatorship than to endure in a world where a magazine is actually a dollar less north of the border than it is down here. Prorogue this, you ice-farming scumbags. 73
The Hamster Wheel Recession @10:20 AM
John Lanchester, writing in the LRB, takes a look at the state of the British economy. Here's his prediction for the near future:
At the moment, thanks to the subjective mildness of the recession, we are still in denial. Next, as the full extent of the bill becomes clearer, there will be anger, especially since the hard times will have next to no effect on the bankers and politicians who, in the public mind, caused the crisis. Then there will be a helpful-for-the-government period of inflation. Then interest rates will shoot up in an attempt to control inflation, and at the same time we will see tax rises, services closing and job losses. It’s at this point, as the recovery begins to seem like a tractionless slog, that we’ll go through the depression stage of the cycle.
We're probably a little further along over here, but either way, it's not a lot to look forward to. 4
Rich People Set For Big Comeback! @3:35 PM
Green shoots, everyone! "The number of U.S. households with a net worth of $1 million or more, not including primary residence, jumped 16% to 7.8 million in 2009 from 6.7 million the year before, according to a report released today by Spectrem Group." While this total is still off 2007's record of 9.2 million, I think we can all agree that stabilizing our financial industries was definitely the right way to go, particularly if we wanted to make sure our focus was on returning hardworking families to the ranks of "millionaire," which apparently it was. USA! 7
Of course, for some, the good times are right now: "According to a study from Northeastern University’s Center for Labor Studies, unemployment for those in the top income decile–individuals earning more than $150,000 a year–was 3% in the fourth quarter of 2009. That compares with unemployment of 31% for the bottom 10% of income, and unemployment of 9% for the middle decile. The differing rates of underemployment–including those working part-time for economic reasons–are also notable. Underemployment for the top 10% was 1.6%, while the bottom was 21%. In other words, the top 10% is experiencing what economists would consider full employment." @12:30 PM 6
Nothin' but good times ahead: "The Obama administration projected Thursday that the unemployment rate would fall this year by only a little, if at all, and would remain well over 6 percent until 2015." But hey, they're predicting that we'll be back down to 8.2% by the time Obama is up for re-election, at which point the "Unemployment Real Feel" will make it seem like a workable 7%. @10:16 AM 2
Nothin' but good times ahead: "A huge wave of mortgage failures on commercial real estate could hit next year, causing banks to lose as much as $300 billion, imperiling lending for small businesses and hindering the economic recovery, a Congressional panel is warning." @11:10 AM 3
Reasons To Be Cheerful: I'll Let You Know When I Think Of Some @1:30 PM
Was Barack Obama going to get hammered by the economy no matter what he did? Paul Krugman concedes that it's possible. It certainly doesn't help that many Americans are too stupid to understand the stimulus package. But don't worry, now that unions are free to flood the airwaves with informative ads, things will be much clearer. Or, uh, not. We're pretty much screwed. All of us, not just the gays. I hope the last season of "Lost" is good, because I can't think of anything else to look forward to. 10
Biblical Principles Just As Effective For Finance As Everything Else @11:45 AM
In These Troubled Times, many Americans are seeking financial wisdom from an unlikely source: the Bible.
All sound professional advice, I found, … has its roots someplace in Scripture," said Ron Blue, author of "Surviving Financial Meltdown" and founder of the Kingdom Advisors, which trains Christian financial professionals. Blue uses the Bible for guidance on everything from budgeting to long-term investing and handling an inheritance.
More than ten percent of Americans rely on food stamps. Tina Contraeras is one of them: "Unemployed and on disability benefits, Contraeras, 45, has custody of her grandchildren, ages 2 and 3. She has resorted to circling the first of the month on her calendar so that when her grandchildren are hungry, she can count down the days until they can return to the grocery store.
'I have to make a game out of it for the kids,' she said." [Via] @11:10 AM 14
Blame Your Gigantic Ass On The Economy @9:00 AM
With so many of us facing financial difficulties during These Troubled Times, "more consumers are turning to processed foods, either prepared, frozen or canned and often filled with fat-generating calories, refined grains and sugars. Experts said that's making more Americans chubbier and prone to obesity-related illnesses such as diabetes in what has been dubbed 'recession fat.'" The obesity rate rose by a full percentage point over the last year, which is, of course, Barack Obama's fault. When we voted for change, we didn't vote for a change in our waistlines, am I right, people? As for the 25% of people who were already obese before the recession, I guess we can just call that "boom blubber." [Via] 20
"All the wise heads will tell us that 8 or 9 percent unemployment – maybe even 10 percent – is the 'new normal', and that only irresponsible people want to do anything about the situation. So what I see is years of terrible job markets, combined with political paralysis."
—Paul Krugman makes me reconsider the wisdom of getting out of bed this morning. Or any morning, for that matter. @2:50 PM 5
Economic Collapse Porn, Rated @2:10 PM
Which financial crisis book is the right one for you? Awl pal Moe Tkacik ranks eleven of the big ones. We're gonna grant you a special dispensation here and say that reading this list actually counts as reading one of the books, because, really, who wants to go through all that again? 1
We Are Almost Totally Back To Normal! @10:05 AM
"Major U.S. banks and securities firms are on pace to pay their employees about $140 billion this year — a record high that shows compensation is rebounding despite regulatory scrutiny of Wall Street's pay culture. Workers at 23 top investment banks, hedge funds, asset managers and stock and commodities exchanges can expect to earn even more than they did the peak year of 2007, according to an analysis of securities filings for the first half of 2009 and revenue estimates through year-end by The Wall Street Journal." And, hey, why not? I mean, today may be the day where the Dow crosses back over the magical 10000 mark. I know I feel much better about everything; don't you? 7
Recession Battering Nation's Titty-Jiggling Trade @10:20 AM
It's tough all over, and even the hooter-shaking industry is not immune: America's strip clubs are seeing slower sales as customers focus more on the actual boobs in front of them rather than the high-end food and drink that once helped inflate profits. "In order to adapt," reports the Wall Street Journal, "many so-called gentlemen's clubs are shedding their upscale trappings and catering to a thriftier clientele by offering less expensive drinks, waiving cover charges and refocusing their marketing." READ MORE 14
Leading Economic Indicators @10:23 AM
Banks are buying back TARP shares, the government is easing off on plans to reorganize the financial regulatory system, and handjobs in the Bronx are going for $200 a pop: Maybe the recession really is over! 0
Recommended Reading: John Lanchester, "It’s Finished" @9:34 AM
I'm a little late on this one, but John Lanchester's lengthy London Review of Books piece on the financial crisis makes for phenomenal reading. It is by necessity oversimplified in certain places, and, given its place of origin, skews more toward the British side of the story, but it is one of the best pieces I've seen so far. Fair warning: It does not end optimistically. 10
Recovery Time! @12:40 PM
Citigroup and General Motors were removed from the Dow Jones Industrial Average today.(Historical note: "By replacing GM with Cisco, Dow Jones & Co. has removed automakers from the best-known benchmark for U.S. stocks, saying in an e-mailed statement that computers are as central to the economy as cars were in the previous century.") READ MORE 2
Socialism, American-Style @11:49 AM
"In the coming week there will be much debate over what it means for the United States to be the majority shareholder of a major car company. Much of that debate will be serious and interesting. There will also be a lot of talk about how the United States is a socialist country in which the government has nationalized half of what was formerly known as private industry. That debate will be a lot less interesting." 3
Vindictive Obama Punishes Republican Donors @1:40 PM
Republicans are all in a tizzy that Comandante Obama and his gang of socialist wealth redistributors are using the Chrysler bankruptcy to shut down car dealers whose donations favored Republicans over Democrats. But is it true? Well, Your Geeky Boyfriend Nate Silver is on the case, and he's skeptical. READ MORE 5
Monsters Nuke Financial Markets! @9:31 AM
Giant lizard attacks! North Korea nuclear tests (and subsequent proliferation)! Continuing turmoil in housing markets and a new "normal" of higher unemployment! Ben Stiller beating Christian Bale at the box office! I hope everyone enjoyed their long weekends, because it looks like TOTAL DISASTER from here on out! 3
LA Rich People Lost Money Too @2:58 PM
Los Angeles is down to a mere 29 billionaires, after a year in which the city's fifty wealthiest residents lost a combined $32 billion. "Activist investor" Kirk Kerkorian lost five billion alone. The only two names on the top ten list of rich people to have actually made money are Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong, who cashed in on his pharmaceutical company, and Ron Burkle, who I guess owns a chain of grocery stores or something. 6
Jobless Claims Down Slightly Or Something @10:46 AM
The economy explained: "We need good numbers as opposed to less bad numbers," says a BlackRock portfolio manager. Makes sense to me! 0
Influence Peddlers Might Need New Loopholes @12:12 PM
The head of the Illinois State Board of Investments predicts that New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo's wide-ranging investigation of influence-peddling in the pension fund industry will result in the end of the "placement agent"business.—meaning that the children of the wealthy and the otherwise connected will have to find new ways to make money for introducing their friends and family. Also, remember Andy Stein from like a million years ago? He's been busy!
UPDATE: More—and better—here! 2
Ten Bucks A PACK. How Stupid AM I? @1:19 PM
The next time you cough ostentatiously or wave your judgmental fingers around to disperse the invisible cloud coming from a nearby smoker, remember this: We are the only ones keeping this economy afloat. You should be a little nicer to us. Because we're probably going to die soon. 15
Even Educated, Entitled People Got Stupid Mortgages @12:40 PM
This is a gripping, read-through-your-fingers account of one couple's descent into debt and potential foreclosure. You won't necessarily sympathize with writer Edmund L. Andrews, an economics reporter for the New York Times who admits that he should have known better. But he does a great job of conveying the recklessness that led so many people into similar situations, and his description of the panic that follows as he realizes it's all going to come crashing down is so vivid that you will definitely empathize with him. And then you will remind yourself that you don't look at your ATM receipts because you just don't want to know. 15
More Gloom On Auto Front @9:24 AM
GM and Chrysler will sever ties with up to 3600 dealerships nationwide. "The closings," notes the LA Times, "will dump thousands of large, oddly configured parcels into an already reeling commercial real estate market. Many are likely to remain empty for a long time, monuments to the decline of the U.S. auto industry and the intensity of this recession." Maybe we can convert them into new housing for the wave of recently unemployed autoworkers. 1
