Posts Tagged: Doody
1

Guess What's On Those Shiny Screens?

You know what else is covered in doody? Yes, everything. But especially whatever device you happen to be reading this on right now. Here are some tips for cleaning it, but be honest, ten seconds from now you are going to eat your lunch over it and then the cycle will start anew. Why bother? My theory is if you leave the dirt there eventually you will develop some kind of symbiotic affinity with it. Yes, that is how I justify grime and indolence. What, you think you're better than me? I've seen you blow your nose in your hands and [...]

1

You Are Too Dumb To Use Soap Right

"Antibacterial products have been shown to be effective at killing microorganisms in hospitals and other healthcare settings, and toothpaste with triclosanmay help people with the gum disease gingivitis, Halden said. But there's little evidence that these products are any more beneficial than regular soap for the general population, Halden said. This lack of benefit may be because people often do not use the products correctly: To effectively kill microbes, people need to wash their hands with antibacterial products for 20 to 30 seconds, but studies show people use the soaps for just six seconds on average, Halden said."

0

No Matter How You Slice It, Chicken Covered In Doody

"Because of an editing error, an article on Nov. 5 about a study of antibiotic-resistant E. coli bacteria found on samples of chicken sold in the New York area misstated one of its findings. The researchers reported that nearly twice as much of the bacteria was found on the kosher chicken as on conventionally raised birds, not that twice as many of the kosher samples tested positive for the bacteria."

1

See, The System Still Works

"A Montana man who pieced together the remnants of five $100 bills eaten by his one-eyed dog last year is sporting a $500 check he says he received this week from the U.S. Department of the Treasury to replace the digested funds."

2

New York, New York, It's A Hell Of A Town, The Bronx Is Up And The Water's Full Of Doody

“If you find antibiotic-resistant bacteria in an ecosystem, it’s hard to know where they’re coming from. In the Hudson we have a strong case to make that it’s coming from [doody].”

1

Guess What There's Doody In Now

"You Won't Believe What's In Your Turkey Burger," unless you've seen almost every other scary story about ground meat and the doody contained therein, in which case your skepticism will remain at bay.

1

You Never Step Into The Same Doody Twice

"We know that the sewers leak. But that’s the thing – we really don’t know how much they leak."

0

How Dirty Is Your Kitchen?

Would your apartment pass the city's restaurant inspection test? Of course not. You live in filth and even if you make an effort at tidying up every now and again the fact remains that here in New York City a thin layer of doody covers all, even the actual doody you do your best to step over as you move around town. Your surfaces play host to an orgy of bacteria, where the grossest of germs satiate their sick desires in a frenzy of deviant pathogenic passion. At night when you sleep the rats and roaches come out and dance a dervish of delight on your countertops as [...]

3

The Fecal Transplant Bank

If you are the kind of person who cannot read a headline like "First Fecal Transplant Bank Opens" without giggling and coming up with sophomoric jokes I don't know what say other than no matter how distasteful or uncomfortable you find feces to be this is actually something that will save lives, and your scoffing at it only reveals a massive level of immaturity which should be deeply shaming to you. Also, [...]

0

Size Of Dinosaur Doody Debated

How large was dinosaur doody?

1

Is Your Phone Covered In Doody? Of Course It Is. Everything Is Covered In Doody. If We Know Anything It's That Doody Is All Around Us.

"How smartphones and tablets now harbour thousands more germs than a TOILET SEAT"

3

Guess What's Full Of Doody?

Are you sitting down right now? Well, have a seat, I'll wait. Okay. Now take a deep breath. Relax. I want you to be perfectly calm. I'm about to tell you something that you will find alarming. So. Swimming pools? Full of doody. I know, I know. Why don't you take a quick break to compose yourself and when we get back here we'll move on to beaches.

2

We're Really Taking This 'Lean In' Thing Too Far

"In the corner office and the boardroom, women are 'leaning in.' But there's one place where they're still wracked with anxiety and shame. " —Can you guess where it is? IT'S THE BATHROOM! Where shitting happens! Shitting BY WOMEN! I may need to lie down for a minute.

2

Suddenly Horse Meat Doesn't Sound So Bad, Does It?

"Ikea has withdrawn a type of almond cake from its restaurants after samples were found to be contaminated by faecal bacteria."

0

Everything You Know About William Henry Harrison Is A Lie

I am presuming here that everything you know about William Henry Harrison is that he caught pneumonia after giving a long-ass Inauguration address and died a month later, but it turns out that is probably not true: "In those days the nation’s capital had no sewer system. Until 1850, some sewage simply flowed onto public grounds a short distance from the White House, where it stagnated and formed a marsh; the White House water supply was just seven blocks downstream of a depository for 'night soil' hauled there each day at government expense. That field of human excrement would have been a breeding ground for two [...]

1

Shitting: An Epistemological Cognition

My freshman year roommate took all her clothes off to poop. She had no idea this wasn't normal. I think about this a lot.

— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) December 5, 2013

One day she mentioned something like "yeah so I was taking my shirt off in the bathroom" or something, and I was like "wait, what?"

— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) December 5, 2013

She was genuinely thought everyone did this. She was disgusted that I would leave my shirt on while pooping.

— Katie Notopoulos (@katienotopoulos) December 5, 2013

I guess like, we go through life not knowing what other people are up to [...]

23

Why Is America Turning To Shit?

Toilet in Uganda, by Sustainable Sanitation.

1. THIS SHIT IS REAL

My hand stayed on the bathroom door handle, unwilling to twist the knob that would let me in. Behind me was the hum and chatter of an art opening—this was at a now sadly departed radical Chicago cultural center called Mess Hall. On a table nearby were offerings of hummus and home-made brownies. Nearly everyone else was chatting and oblivious to my plight, but I could sense at least one other person impatiently waiting behind me. Then I went in, and, inside, next to a perfectly serviceable modern flush toilet seat, was a five-gallon bucket of [...]

3

What Do You Think Of When You Hear The Word "Hamburger"?

"The all-American hamburger: It makes you think of herds of cattle, the great plains, family-run farms…" —Hmmm. That is not exactly what springs to my mind when someone mentions hamburger. Anyway, here's five minutes of "news" about fake meat, which is comical because you really only need about 45 seconds before you're all, "Ugggh, gross, get it away." If your choice is between feces and Science, lunch is going to be a drag either way.

3

BuzzFeeᴅ Phones Covered In GIFs Of Doody

If you ever hang out with someone who works for BuzzFeeᴅ, don't touch their phone.

6

Babies Peeing Everywhere

"With the warmer weather coming, Caribou Baby’s owner Adriane Stare — who held her bare-bottomed baby Loren atop a cloth diaper as she whispered 'sissss' to him to cue a pee during the discussion — told the group she’d soon open the center's backyard to let babies roam diaper-free outside."