Posts Tagged: Disneyland

11 Disneyland Rides From Terrible To Awesome

11. It's A Small World: Burn it down when it's full of church youth groups.

10. Splash Mountain: Some kind of offensive/idiotic Old South/Slavery thing going on here, very loosely based on the disappeared Disney cartoon feature Song of the South. The set pieces only serve to remind you that this supposed thrill ride is a long, lame experience that's never worth the wait.

9. Autopia: The charming idea of a miniaturized Pasadena freeway from the brief golden age of California car culture is ruined by the gasoline industry propaganda and cancer-spewing go-karts that consistently die on the track. Why aren't the little cars powered by batteries or [...]


A Chat With A Person Who Has Been To Disney Parks 40 Times

Part of a month-long series on terrible trips, great journeys and getting lost.

Last fall, I had dinner with my cousin, his wife and their two teenage sons, none of whom I get to see that often since they live in northern California while I'm in Chicago. My cousin mentioned that the family would be heading to Disneyland after they returned home. "That sounds like fun!" I said, but the two boys just rolled their eyes. "We go all the time," one of them said. "Our mom is obsessed." I was intrigued: I'd known my cousin's wife, Kris, for almost 20 years, but never knew about her dedication to [...]


The Man is Everywhere: I Was a Disneyland Grad Night Chaperone

"There is no arguing with exultation." -Shirley Hazzard, The Great Fire

Disneyland. Like many another native of Los Angeles, I have a vexed relationship with The Happiest Place on Earth.¹ A childhood spent in pure enchantment during every trip to Disneyland gave way to an adulthood plagued with guilty doubts about that special Disney brand of child consumerism and corporate greed. My love of fine graphic design dates, I think, to an appreciation of the gorgeous layout and palette of the precious book of Disneyland tickets. And what of Grad Nite, the annual Southern California ritual where the park is closed down to all but newly-minted high school graduates [...]