Posts Tagged: cronuts

A Cronut Conspiracy

The Cronut™ has been with us for a year now. In that time, the mutant pastry has sapped millions of hours from people's lives: from the people who line up each day as the dawn breaks to taste one, lured by tales of its creamy center and precise flakiness; from the hundreds of cooks laboring at other, lesser bakeries to create passable knockoffs to foist upon their own unsuspecting customers; from the billions of people reading, watching and hearing about them, despite their best intentions, thanks to utterly endless media coverage; and from the writers and journalists tasked by their editors with fomenting Cronut™ mania week after week, day [...]


Cheap Wine Wasted On Novelty Donut

"A bakery that sold cakes with a Buckfast-laced ingredient is at the centre of a licensing investigation after the Ayrshire firm was criticised by alcohol awareness groups. Patthead Bakery in New Cumnock sold a limited number of ‘cronuts’, a cross between a croissant and a doughnut invented in New York, with traces of [Scottish bum wine] added to the filling…. The cakes were criticised by Dr Evelyn Gillan, chief executive of Alcohol Focus Scotland, as a 'cheap gimmick.'"


Cronuts Fill The Void Created By Our Lack Of A Social Safety Net

I mean.


Please Shut Up About Cronuts

Am I the only one who thinks that the constant drumbeat about "cronuts" is exactly the kind of celebration that happens around a non-story right before something serious and terrible actually occurs? It feels like one more article and we're due.


Gimmick Patented

Raise your hand if you knew that the Internet would eventually evolve into a venue best suited for posting pictures of government documents confirming the commercial registration of hybrid croissant/doughnut pastries.


Woman Will Put Things In Mouth For Bragging Rights

"I don’t really have high expectations, but this is kind of like the new Cronut, and I want to experience it first."


Are We Wasting Our Final Days Talking About Cronuts?

It is almost like we want something terrible to happen to us. We certainly deserve it.


New Yorkers Pissed Off About Fancy Carb Shortage

Listen, Frenchie, it's a tough town. If you can't keep up with the doughnut croissants, don't be surprised if we get a little free with the fingerwork.


Even Cold Weather Is No Defense Against Trend-Sucking Idiocy

"As New York's Cronut craze enters its first winter"


New App Equal Parts Privilege, Sadness

"Online map helps you locate Cronut knockoffs in New York City and across the globe"


Cat Two-Faced

"In the west shall be born a twin-headed beast while a dual-pastry fusion ascends in the east" is what Nostradamus might have written about all the stupid stuff going on in the news right now if he really had the ability to see into the future. Anyway, the signs are all there: a kitty with a pair of faces, a monstrous amalgam of donut and crossiant… we are opening all the seals, people. This will not end well.