Posts tagged as Crazy People
Bizarre Candidate Warns Against American Executions of Monarchs
Potential American president Rick Santorum isn't even pretending to make sense anymore: "When you marginalize faith in America, when you remove the pillar of God-given rights, then what’s left is the French Revolution. What’s left is the government that gives you right, what’s left are no unalienable rights, what’s left is a government that will tell you who you are, what you’ll do and when you’ll do it. What’s left in France became the guillotine."
A Brief History of Kanye West's Twitter
So last night professional crazy person Kanye West opened up a Twitter account after performing a mysterious and confusing (but kind of awesome) a capella performance at Facebook HQ. If you were lucky enough to start following him last night you either stayed up late into the night waiting for his next insane, misspelled (but again kind of awesome) Tweet or awoke this morning to a torrent of craziness. So, without further introduction (or parentheses) here's our guide for understanding the unhinged tweet-rantings of Kanye West.
"Up early in the morning taking meetings in Silicone Valley" 11:17 AM Jul 28th
And we're off, word misspelled, but it's not really too insane right?
"Lol I spelled Silicon wrong ( I guess I was still thinking about the other type of silicone ITS A PROCESS!! : )" 12:05 PM Jul 28th
Ok, that smiley is a bit strange, but nothing like his capslocked blog posts, maybe Kanye West has calmed down a bit. Who doesn't get confused about the difference between silicon and silicone? He dates a lot of models.
Between 12:53 PM Jul 28th and about 22 hours ago West made shout outs to various celebrities like Jimmy Fallon and Perez Hilton, did a shoutout to Pitchfork, usual stuff. He tweets here and there about how cool twitter is; around yesterday afternoon it really looked like he was all better from the kooky thoughts that made him yell Taylor Swift and cry on television. Last night it looked like we were in the clear America-we got our college dropout back!
And then about 13 hours ago he started posting about goblets...
And he kept posting about goblets...
Oh, here's another goblet picture...
And then after that, as the night rolled into the early morning he pretty much just stopped making any sense whatsoever.
About 13 hours ago he tweeted "I feel the glow" and from then on it was a mish-mash of insanity with tweets like "SWAGGER ON 200,000 THOUSAND TRILLION!!!" (I don't think that's a number...), "Dating models I had to learn to like small dogs and cigarettes," "Classical music is tight yo," "William Tell" Overture by Andre' Rieu ... Maybach music!!!," and then about 2 hours ago West tweeted "I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh."
And then there's this. Which we can get behind!
this J.Press tie is the greatest tie of all tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!!!!!!!!! Kool Aid smile!!!! It's the small things that mean so much
Kanye West
kanyewest
So, there you have it, a simple and easy to follow timeline on the rising insanity of Kanye West's twitter account. There's probably a good chance it's only going to get more insane from here, so be sure and start following him now, it can't be long before he tops Hayley Williams and twitpics his penis wearing shutter shades "accidentally."
EEOC Filings For "Craziness" Double Since 2005
"The number of discrimination complaints filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission related to anxiety, depression and other psychiatric disorders nearly doubled between 2005 and 2009." READ MORE
The Great Fat Freakout
I have been sitting on my stoop in the East Village this morning like an old Polish woman and I have counted exactly zero guys with pot bellies, even though this is the hot new trend, according to the elitist New York Times. Here is the thing: Manhattan is an incredibly trim place, on the most part. Last night I was walking by Gramercy Park and I was behind a large group of people who were clearly from out of town, and I could tell only because of two things: they were wearing amazingly cheap clothing and they were, well, a large group of people! That is a fine choice for them! I am not here to judge. For one thing, the food in America is terrible, horrible, disgusting "food" and really there is nothing for them to eat that is healthy. The problem is that we are kind of not allowed to even mention it. And so writer Cintra Wilson, who is well-known as a TOTALLY CRAZY person, is in big trouble now. READ MORE
See? No One Can Even Keep The Whole "Landing On The Moon" Hoax Straight!
An article on Tuesday about people who believe that the Moon landing was a hoax referred incorrectly to a picture in a feature on the Lens blog at nytimes.com. As correctly noted in the feature, "Dateline: Space," the photograph of an astronaut standing on the surface of the Moon shows Buzz Aldrin-not Neil Armstrong. (Mr. Armstrong took the picture.)Mmm hmm. Sure he did.
Russell Simmons' Girlfriend Flips Out On The Blacks
Mogul Russell Simmons' new girlfriend would like to clarify something: "I am nobody's white b*tch, gold digger or fame chaser"! Also, best use of "namaste" to mean "go fuck yourself." What a world.
Torture Defined
Here is your insane person rant of the day. It starts by saying that the children of those who protested against torture "are most likely to end up in rehab for drug abuse because their parents wouldn't lay down the law at home when their children needed to be disciplined." Then it gets really crazy.
The Most Awesome House In The World
Oh I want to live there too. It's an extremely cozy, 18,000-square-foot system of tunnels left over from the Cold War in Topeka!
