Posts tagged as Children
Ten Questions Parents Should Frantically Ask About Schooling
This coming weekend, the New York Times magazine looks at our children and what private and charter schools are doing for/to them! It raises so many questions for those of us who are concerned about our babies and if they will go to top-tier colleges after top-tier primary and secondary education, which is something you really do worry about especially if you're dropping half a million on K-12 and then having to make a sizable donation to an Ivy League to make sure that little Crayson, Effexor and Randomly get to go to the right college! Here's the top ten questions that a parent may form whilst reading this expose about the rise of "character evaluation" at... two schools. (One of whom is a charter, with a 33% college graduation rate of their first two classes.) READ MORE
KidZania: The Magical World of a Child's Indoctrination Into Drudgery
If you think that Sims and FarmVille are evil tools to acclimate people into capitalist tedium and corporate consumption and a life of low expectations, then you'll love KidZania—"a multinational chain of family entertainment centers, where kids try out professions that have been downsized, simplified, and made fun." And it is dark! It's a nation-state of "trying on adult jobs" while consuming McNuggets and Chevrolets. "Children do not create their own stories at KidZania. The story that some children are tasked with writing for the journalism activity at many franchises is a report on the how great the police are. Meanwhile, in the painting activity at KidZania Dubai, they do not paint their own picture but color in a picture of one of the KidZania mascots." You truly want to read this.
A Gallery of Misplaced Objects
Amy Jean Porter has some nice prints for sale. And also you can preorder her book, Of Lamb, right now!
Dreamworks Done Pimping Brands to Kids
I had not noticed that Dreamworks has been renouncing product placement in movies for young people! This is heartening. What's more? "Megamind also has no product placement 'jokes,' the likes of which were so prevalent in the Shrek series—that is, until the most recent Shrek film, another brand-less children's film that signaled the trend that Megamind now confirms. Product placement in animated children's films might be dead."
This Is My Year To Finally Poison Some Children
I've made it well-known that I'm not a huge fan of children. So now that parents have been lulled by science and journalism into finally believing that "there has never been a single case of any child being killed by a stranger's Halloween candy," I'm finally going to strike. READ MORE
Canada Scandalized by Intentionally Scandalous Photographs
Because it's coming down from Canada, we're not sure everyone saw this photo series by Jonathan Hobin that just closed in Canada and was published online last month.
In Defense of Having Children
Disclosure! I will begin by stating that, at the age 31, I currently have no children. Which, in and of itself, will be a driver for many parents to click the "BACK" button on their browsers while muttering that I have nothing resembling a fucking clue about this topic. Click away, self-righteous parents! No doubt you have a poop-flinging banshee destroying your living room at this very moment. Go handle your business. No hard feelings. READ MORE
America Out of Control: The War Against Children's Lemonade Stands
All over America, investigative reporter Evan Fleischer has noted, children's lemonade stands are being shut down. It's true! From Haverford Township, PA, to Tulare, CA, even to liberal godless San Francisco, the war on children selling lemonade is in full swing. In Newbury Park, MA, there was a police investigation of a lemonade-vending child, who, cannily, only accepts "donations" instead of a set price. America's tween and teens: learning how to skirt the Marxist Obama Laws That Are Against Free Enterprise.
How To Get Into The "Times": All You Need Is A Tumblr And A Friend (And An Adorable, Messy Child Helps Too)
BREAKING: Kids sure are messy! Luckily, there's a blog devoted to that very fact, in case you weren't sure! (And even more luckily for its author, she's friends with a Times writer who can give said blog a glowing comparison to Erma Bombeck in the Grey Lady's hallowed pages, thus paving the way for Yet Another Crowdsourced Blog That Might Become Something Resembling A Book. Hooray, Internet! Keep breaking down those walls!)
