Burger King Now Serving Breakfast Late

Burger King is doing its part to help accelerate our country's incipient extinction-through-obesity program by bringing brunch-a meal heretofore only available to sophisticated metropolitans like the ladies from "Sex and the City" (this was the actual example provided by CNN)-to its customer base of slovenly, ill-mannered buffoons whose lack of proper dentistry makes the concept of "chicken fries" both palatable and easy on the gums. But how will the company be able to educate a clientele which is surely ignorant of customary brunch refinements such as "napkins" and "salad forks," that there is more to a meal than an overheated patty of gristle and cow anus quickly washed down [...]

