Posts Tagged: Britney Spears

Album Terrible

The reviews are in for "Britney Jean"!

• "It’s her most disappointing release yet, a snoozefest of shallow mid-tempos and limp club tracks that chase trends rather than invent them."

• "It’s just straightforward pop music, and that’s just fine."

• "Like Wile E. Coyote realizing too late that he's walked off a cliff and is standing on thin air, "Britney Jean," the new studio album from Britney Spears, is marked with so many sleights of hand, dubious lyrics and bombastic but boringly simple melodies that the too-rare levitation of its better moments seems an animation trick."

• "A total letdown," says the AP. The [...]


Thirty Years Of Britney Spears

Ms. Britney Jean Spears turns 30 today, which makes you old no matter what side of that particular divide you happen to be on.

RELATED: The Album Covers of Britney Spears: A History; Every Time Anyone Says 'Crazy' or 'Baby'" in a Britney Spears Song; The Dance-Off Decade; Britney Spears' "Hold It Against Me" Overanalyzed; An Excerpt From A Grand and Bold Thing: An Extraordinary New Map of the Universe Ushering In A New Era of Discovery


Britney Spears' "Hold It Against Me" Overanalyzed

Despite not liking Britney Spears’ album covers, I like her new video quite a bit. Yes, I hate the lyrics just as much as you do. The joke chorus is awful, and the verses are a string of clichés. But at least they’re not “I’m rich and in the club” clichés, like pretty much every other pop song released in the last three years. And anyway, the music is good enough. It’s a nice little trance-techno track that, released as an instrumental, would make people who like to go out and dance (not me) very happy indeed.

But I want to talk about the video, because there are [...]


British Music Producer To Lady Gaga: "Why Can't You Be Classy Like Divine?"

Rick Astley/Kylie Minogue producer Mike Stock on the current, depraved pop landscape: "The music industry has gone too far. It's not about me being old fashioned. It's about keeping values that are important in the modern world. These days you can't watch modern stars — like Britney Spears or Lady Gaga — with a two-year-old." Is that the level that we're going for nowadays? Perhaps this bit of snippiness means that Stock is about to produce his own Kidz Bop featuring the music he produced for Divine and Samantha Fox and Angels Aren't Airplanes!


Real America with Abe Sauer: The Britney Spears Tailgate Parking Lot, Ticketmaster, Bruce Springsteen, the Death of the Live Music Video and You

Pop music does not tailgate. Dress Up. Line up. Maybe even pre-party. But there is no tailgating. This is very obvious to anyone who visited the parking lot of the Alerus Center in Grand Forks, North Dakota, by far the smallest venue of the second leg of Britney Spears' Circus tour. What is not so obvious is how this show nut-shells just about everything that's wrong with the concert industry, from Ticketmaster's monopoly and price gouging, to mildly corrupt, publicly-owned concert venues, to artists lip-syncing shows while they bleed their fans and pass the blame to us-the people who pay for such bullshit anyway. So, who wants to rock?


Britney Spears Is A Social Networking Stalker

It turns out that Britney Spears-or at least her brand manager-is something of a cyber-stalker? According to leaked screenshots of Twitter's admin interface, she is blocked by 3855 users. For contrast, pop singer Lily Allen is only blocked by 184. Leave me alone, Britney!


Girl Powder: A Cultural History Of Love's Baby Soft

Perhaps the most feminine of all feminine products to have ever existed on Earth is Love's Baby Soft. Its packaging, all soft curves and pale pink and frost, was basically an homage to the tampon. Its marketing scheme was Cinemaxilly soft-focus pre-teen beauty queen. It was made out of chemicals. It smelled like babies.

From the mid-70s until the mid-90s, this fragrance was an object of intense feminine fetishization for girls who had reached a certain age: the one at which we began to feel, rather definitively, not quite like little girls, not yet like teenagers. At this age, around 11 or 12, we acquire a sense that there's a [...]


"Every Time Anyone Says 'Crazy' or 'Baby'" in a Britney Spears Song

"Every time anyone says the words 'crazy' or 'baby' in any of her songs. In chronological order."


The Album Covers of Britney Spears: A History

I can't remember what any of the singles from the last four Britney Spears albums sounds like. Early singles like "…Baby One More Time," "Oops! I Did It Again," and even "Not A Girl (Not Yet A Woman)" were catchy and memorable. None of her more recent material has stuck with me in the same way. What's most striking about her discography, for me, is the awfulness of the cover art. Since the cover for her new album, Femme Fatale, has been released today, I think a review is in order.


The 16 No. 1 Debuts In The History Of The "Billboard" Hot 100, In Order Of Personal Preference

16. Puff Daddy & Faith Evans featuring 112, "I'll Be Missing You" 15. Taylor Hicks, "Do I Make You Proud" 14. Carrie Underwood, "Inside Your Heaven" 13. Clay Aiken, "This Is The Night" 12. Elton John, "Candle in the Wind 1997/Something About the Way You Look Tonight"


Most-Deleted Artists from Playlists in June

In this analysis of most-deleted tracks on the music playlist-radio thingie, Lady GaGa seizes four places in the top ten; Britney Spears only claims three.


Each Generation Has Found They Have Got Their Own Kind of Sound

Rumors have circulated that Madonna, recording artist, will sing with M.I.A. at the Super Bowl. Nicki Minaj is also implicated. Both artists have had success, but can either bring back the monoculture? Leaving the fleeting sensation of a Lynn Hirschberg truffle-fry ambush aside, if M.I.A. were interviewed by Barbara Walters, who would care? Neither M.I.A., a self-consciously “edgy” singer of extraordinary gifts of curation, nor Nicki Minaj, a self-consciously outré rapper of extraordinary gifts full-stop, have cultivated personae beyond “hardworking,” “talented,” and (in M.I.A.’s case) “prone to ignorable political pronouncements.” It’ll be a good show, but no one should expect an iconic moment on par with Madonna heaving in a [...]


I Do Not Personally Believe that Britney Spears Will Survive the Apocalypse

Britney Spears, who is 29 years young, would have you believe from her latest communique that she is prepared for the end of the world (either this May, in the rapture, or late 2012). I declare that this is horsepucky. Like she's going to do that upheld-arm-elbow-bang dance move (technical term) while people's faces are melting and the cities slide into the sea and just bop off down the road? Has she seen The Book of Eli? (I have, I was sick recently, and boy howdy, that was not ideal.) It's rough out there in the last gasp of civilization, and she has few viable skills necessary for the end [...]


Oh My God, I Heard the New Britney Song on the Radio

Oh my God, I heard the new Britney song on the radio. For those of you who do not have radios or did not know there was a new song by Britney Spears that "leaked" yesterday on the Internet (AKA how we release music now), you are living in a world where you have not come face-to-face with the monstrousness of contemporary emptiness. I say this as a person who owns Britney Spears albums! As a person who is resolutely unafraid of "oh baby, look at my butt in da club" music! But if you have previously experienced the work of Ke$ha, you may have guessed what was [...]


The End of the 00s: The Dance-Off Decade, by Lindsay Robertson

In the wee hours of August 1, 2002, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, who had broken up the previous March after Britney allegedly cheated on Justin with their shared choreographer, ran into each other at a club in Los Angeles called The Lounge. Reports differ, but by all accounts the two young pop stars began arguing, with Britney complaining that Justin had been "using different women for media attention" and Justin calling Britney a cheater. The arguing got heated, and continued onto the dance floor of the club-where for the next 90 minutes, Britney and Justin, with the help of their respective entourages, reportedly had a dance-off.


What If Britney Were Topless And No One Cared?

It is a bad sign for your stardom, and your sense of place in the cultural moment, when you are a major tabloid pop star and you whip out your breasts for your new video and the Internet doesn't explode.