Brian Morris, a spokesman for the zoo, said officials were in the process of revisiting animal protocols, and it was "more than likely" that new rules would keep mayors and groundhogs from coming into contact every February.
"It’ll protect our animals," he said, "and it’ll also protect whoever the mayor is."
Keeping large rodents out of the hands of towering New York City mayors will no doubt save their lives, given the recent events that led to the death of Charlotte, aka Chuck, the mystical groundhog—but what grave harm, exactly, must the mayor be shielded from? The conspiracy is real, folks.
You kind of hope that Mayor de Blasio is making his public gesture of contrition on the issue of charter schools because he realizes that he has so many things on his plate that a drawn-out battle with well-funded opponents who have the benefit of compliant allies in the press willing to discredit progressive politics by any means necessary would be a massive distraction from his goals at this very crucial stage of his term and that he is actually saying conciliatory things right now to take the issue off the table so that later, when the public attention span inevitably shifts to other, more important issues, he can swiftly [...]
In our city's nonstop cavalcade of hurt feelings and grievances and "what about me"s, it is sometimes hard to keep track of which constituency feels slighted by the mayor now. Today's victim class: The Irish!
"Some Observers Say Rookie Mistakes Shouldn't Affect Mayor's Ability to Govern" —I guess the good news for supporters of History's Worst Mayor is that even his critics are forced to concede that maybe 55 days in is a little premature to declare the whole thing a giant disaster from which no recovery is possible.
I knew this am @NYCMayorsOffice @NYCSchools would close schools. Talk about a bad prediction. Long range DiBlasio forecast: 1 term
— Al Roker (@alroker) February 13, 2014
The de Blasio administration: It'll run until 2017, but we can agree that the unofficial end came 44 days in.