"New research discovers a nearly fivefold increase in risk for heart attack in the two hours following outbursts of anger."
Remember that time Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize? #NotTheOnion
— Jon Henke (@JonHenke) June 10, 2013
"This Is Not The Onion” is a seemingly innocuous phrase that strikes such loathing into my heart that after I read it I want to punch a wall until I feel okay again. Even if you stop reading after this paragraph, please internalize at least this much: Stop. Comparing. Everything. To the fucking Onion.
As long as you’re a sentient being and you’ve been on the Internet in the last year, you probably don’t need to be clued in to what I’m over-complaining about. But just in case, here [...]
Among the many awful, tasteless, grotesque and sometimes actually funny things that were said at the Gridiron Club Dinner this weekend in D.C., one of those dress-up events where the press and politicians cozy up, this thing was said by Texas Governor Rick Perry: “I like Mitt Romney as much as one really good-looking man can like another really good-looking man—without breaking the law in Texas.”
Have you ever been innocently reading a news article on the Internet and had the experience where your vision slowly becomes obscured, as if a red velvet curtain is being lowered in front of your eyes, and little black sparkles with white outlines [...]
"Uncontrollable anger could be cured by taking aspirin after scientists found excessive bouts of rage may be the result of an inflammation in the body. Intermittent explosive disorder, which is sometimes known as ‘anger syndrome’ usually begins in late teens and is defined ‘as a failure to resist aggressive impulses.’… However researchers in the US found that people diagnosed with IED had higher markers of inflammation in the blood than those with cooler heads and average tempers."
"A pheasant with a temper problem is stalking the lanes of a Shropshire village, forcing local resident Sally-Ann Hudson to arm herself with gloves and a badminton racquet when she approaches the bird." There is video, but this might be one of those cases where it's just better to imagine.
"Although they're called Fudd's Exotics, this elk burger tasted familiar, like something out of an unsatistfying childhood barbecue, with frozen patties charred to disfigurement by lazy grill-minders who live by the (plainly false) maxim that anything tastes good with enough barbecue sauce. The bun was delicious, but that's sort of like complimenting a salad for its croutons or drafting a baseball player based on the way he wears his hat. This burger actually made me angry as I ate it – angry at Fuddruckers for serving me such a horrible product, and angry at myself for nonetheless being hungry enough to eat the entire thing (plus two cups of [...]
"Modern day life is satisfying our basic needs but in turn is making us angrier, claims a leading psychologist. Dr Sandi Mann from the University of Central Lancashire said that the aggression we once needed for survival, and which is 'hard-wired' into our brains, can 'misfire' when it doesn't have a purpose. This leads us to lash out and rage about relatively inconsequential and trivial events such as waiting to see a doctor, computers crashing and traffic…. She continued that our comfortable lifestyles may have spoiled us and boosted our expectations to the point where anything short of [...]
Appearing here Wednesdays, Turning The Screw provides existential crisis counseling for the faint of heart. "Biting the hand that feeds you is a legitimate lifestyle choice!"
My question is about anger. How much anger is too much? How do you know when you should forgive and let go?
I am quite an angry and defensive person, probably excessively so. I would like to be more open and less angry. However, I also feel like I am sometimes taken advantage of and that my boundaries are often encroached upon. I think this is because: a.) I am not good at being assertive; b.) I often hide my [...]
I used to like volcanoes. What's not to like, I thought, right? Huge mountains that explode and spew fire and hot lava everywhere? Nothing if not totally exciting and fascinating. I enjoyed the volcanoes in Tarzan and King-Kong and Godzilla movies as a child. I did the requisite science project in third grade-papier-mache, rubber tubing, baking soda and vinegar, etc. Fun and educational, I thought. I learned how to play Eddie Van Halen's riff from "Eruption" on guitar and everything. Vesuvius, Etna, Krakatoa, Mount St. Helens, you name it: If it was a volcano, I thought it was pretty darn cool.
Well, not anymore. Now, I say: FUCK VOLCANOES!!!